Jessica Schab

Bali Blog Series

Malaysia July/Aug 2012

1 Comment

Chapter 1 Kuala-lala Lumpur

I arrived safely in KL. It was a long, cold 8-hour flight, but it was a good one. I got lots of sleep and read a whole book in one sitting. Customs was easy, and I did not have to go through the stupid DNA scrambler. I think they got rid of it, one hopes.

My taxi ride was fun. The driver and I plus an extra random passenger all sang out loud to the Black Eyed Peas song, “Where is The Love.” Then we showed off our useless talents, such as animal noises like my elephant and bird imitations, and my boisterous loud burps. They were very amused by this. They made me feel welcomed, warm and safe right away. The taxi driver and random passenger took good care of me, helping me find my hotel, and made sure I was fully ok before I was left on my own, but not before swapping contact information.

Losita was not at the hotel when I arrived. She was at the center where our workshop would be held. So I just chilled and caught up on my work, reflecting and digesting my last few weeks in Australia. My heart was still there, dreaming about koalas and the whirlwind of being in such a la-la land. I was sure I would stay in this mental state for most of my time in Malaysia. It takes a bit to get used to and adjust to a new place right away.

We would not be long in KL, only 3 days. After I had a little nap Losita arrived and showed me the center where we would be doing the workshop. But before we could go I had to change, as apparently wearing a tank top is inappropriate there. It’s not ok to show your bare shoulders. It annoyed me that I had to cover up since this was a hot country. What kind of torture is this, I wondered, as I thought about the women who had to wear heavy black burkas. I did go out in my tank top once as an experiment. I did have a scarf but I let it drop a little and the looks the men gave me were most uncomfortable.

Anyway, the center was inside a spiritual shop that had yoga and meditation in the back. I was informed that such shops like this are rare in KL, but slowly more are being set up. It’s not easy to bring this kind of spirituality into a Muslim-based country, it’s kind of a taboo thing here. After we checked out the center we met the owner and her fresh batch of kittens. We Zenned it up with a friend of Losita’s who was also Indian. She was with us for the workshop we did in Singapore. We felt she had something to share, as well, so we invited her to come join us in Malaysia. We thought her participation would help her get out of her comfort zone and doubts about herself and give her a new perspective on how her life could be.

The workshop in Kuala Lumpur went really well. It was all girls and even a 16-year-old showed up with her mother. This particular workshop was not well-attended. Losita said the last time she was here no one showed up, well at least in the physical that is. Some spirits showed up. Losita felt disappointed and was getting ready to leave when the spirits said “What, we are not good enough for your workshop?” So she stayed and did the whole workshop for the spirits.

The first day of our workshop could not be a full day and we had to resume at 4 p.m. so as to work around religious customs. So in that time pocket I did an interview. I do not remember now with who or what it was about. The next day it was off to Penang for me and Losita so we could catch up and properly inform everyone via video of what we are doing and the places we are going. Then after that, which was only 4 days in Pengang with Losita, she will return back to Singapore with her family. I will take two or so weeks off to just be on my own and hide away, perhaps burrow a hole in the ground like a badger or just go somewhere to catch up on all the things I need to do, such as consultations, videos, interviews, blogs, newsletters, etc… Then I think I will be going back to Singapore to do another workshop. They want us back by popular demand. It also looks like Bali is back in the cards for a workshop but we might do it as a retreat. It’s so strange how my plans for Bali seem to constantly bi-locate in and out of reality as if it’s not yet finalized or become tangible in my life. I wonder why it’s so on-again, off-again with Bali, like a pendulum.

My last day in Kuala Lumpur I found to be very hot and smelly and you could hear muslim singing from the temples like they were singing in a mic with huge woofer speakers broadcasting it throughout the city. It sounds beautiful but strange and alien-like, too. There are lots of wonderful, beautiful, awakened people here, as well. Even the homeless, though desperate, are still gentle and polite.

The food is not easy for me to get used to as it’s hard to avoid spicy. Yeah, well, what can I say? I do not know about you, but I’m not a fan of having my nose run like Niagara Falls when I eat. I don’t know, I guess people who like spicy food like to taste their snot while they eat. Maybe it’s a delicacy or provides some added flavor? It never made sense to me.

Losita and I stayed in a small simple room with a toilet shared by the whole floor. We never stay in expensive hotels. It’s a waste of money and unnecessary – greed I will not feed. I do not want or need luxury. As long as I live I will never give into it, not when so many have so little. I will never forget having so little myself. People in developing countries have very little, and they are happy. First world country people have everything and they are not happy? Look at the kids in Africa. Their eyes are so bright, so full of light, but in most western countries that’s not so easy to find. As if the less we have the more we actually have, which is true. Wealth, the wealth of self and the relationship we have with it, that’s what’s important. The more we have the more distracted and less satisfied we are.

Losita and I managed to get lots done on our last day. Well, not so much of our actual work per se, but inner work healing and processing the junk (my wounded heart) of our past. I am still struggling with the quandary of being a woman, a child and a mystic and having them all co-exist in balance. As it seems I am married to my work as a mystic and it can be a jealous with anyone and anything that takes me away from it for too long. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I’m not sure yet.

After we processed, Losita and I did the outer work of making videos. (It’s a year later and I still have not posted them, but its not my fault. It’s hard to get fast internet to upload videos here in Asia. Also they seem to no longer be relevant to where I am at now.) I am really starting to look forward to going so I can have some alone and finally be able to just catch up on all the things I need to do. Just some alone time would be great, that’s all, whether it is Bali or wherever. I still have so many videos to put up. I’m always behind, it seems.

Chapter 2 A Dream I had

I had a dream the following night that I feel compelled to share, in which my dad and sister never passed away. It was a real sweet dream. Mom and Dad were trying to get some alone time, but I had to sneak in for some kind of candy or something. I remember a part of me being surprised to see my dad on the couch. I just wanted to talk with him but I did not know why. When he asked me I said I do not know why, but I cannot help but feel like its been a long time since I last saw you. He said what do you mean, I have not been working for a while. I have been here at home with the family enjoying all of you. I have always been here. Why do you think and feel that?

It was amazing to see and experience a reality where certain things never happened and that version of life is being played out and enjoyed in some other time line. Yet a drop of me is somehow conscious of this other time line. It did not have the details. It did not know he passed away in this one but the feelings were there. They were aware of this reality here, and it was like some bridge between the two time lines was being made by feelings that perhaps the mind could not possibly understand at this time. This makes life and reality so interesting to me and tells me there is something out there that is more constant than time.

I called my mom when I awoke. She is doing really well. I have not heard her this happy in a long time. She informed me that her headaches are starting to lesson their intensity after taking Jessica Shackleton’s recommended remedies and tinctures from her scientist healer friend in Africa. I updated my mom on my life and all the exciting things I am doing and the cool places I will be going. All she could say was did you meet any men? Don’t you think you will want to settle down and have kids at some point? I told her I may not as the world is more important than this micro reality. I am one that tends to focus more on the macro. I am all about helping the world reach the potential that excites my bones and after sharing my passion with her she just said but I want grandkids. It felt like she was saying oh never mind about the world, you whimsical child, having kids is more important. The world will be fine. Lol. I mean, of course she cares about the world, but I guess she feels we can only give so much to that till its time to start thinking about ourselves. But I’m just not sure about bringing a kid into this world. Some say i should because I would make a good mom and have a crystal child that could also help the world. But the truth is who knows who the child will be? They could be similar to me or not. Oh well, sometimes my mom is one interesting bird, definitely a strange continent immune to all reason. I take comfort, though, that perhaps one day she will understand me and one day will at least let me be me which is more rare nowadays. She supports me no matter what. She is a really good mother.

Later on that day it was time for Losita & i to take our bus ride to Penang. On that ride I wondered if the buses here were the same like in Thailand and the memories came flooding back to me as if I was back in Thailand again were the Mafia have their hand in everything even the tourists vans/bus are like sitting ducks for them . If you travel in one your practically asking to be robbed so i suggest you avoid them especially in Thailand. Your pretty much saying i am from out of town i have no clue and i have money. What tends to happen when tourists travel in these vans/buses is the driver will first close all the window and turn on the air conditioning but in the air conditioning is a gas that makes everyone go to sleep except the driver he wears a mask, most people think its to protect them from germs as its common to see people walking around with medical masks. When everyone is asleep the van pulls over and everyone gets robbed when the tourists wake up they have no idea what happened until they are off the bus and realize they have empty wallets and purses even their passports are gone. So was very cautious when we boarded any tourist transit in Thailand but Asia in general, as most of the time they would shut all our windows. i would keep opening my window though and they would keep closing it. i said i get car sick easy and if you do not let me keep this window open i will be very sick and puke all over your vehicle. Of course they did not understand what i was saying so used body language and my best sounds of imitation of a person puking their guts out and it worked it got the message across. The window stayed open and no sleeping gas was vented on us. I did not find no hide or hare or something like that being pulled in Malaysia either as we continued our on our bus ride to Penang no instead they played a horrendous not even be movie perhaps graded F for Fake and stupid super cheesy about a giant snake killing everyone. The movie had lots of sexy girls and bad acting the volume was so loud that relaxing was not an option that is until we reached our destination.

Chapter 3 Food Adventures in Penang

Losita’s friend took us out to try the Chinese food here and let’s just say that this place has some strange food. It was not much different than KL, even though it was not spicy. I had other things to contend with like random surprises in my food, such as bones, scales, fins, plastic pieces, teeth, cartilage something that tasted like a rubber band and eyeballs. Eww. The food of the Chinese is so alien to me, I mean why do they dehydrate sea horses? What’s up with those Star Wars face shield/visors they wear over their whole face? Why would one name their store poo fashion? Why is it not ok for me smell their flowers? Ok, back to food. It turns out my food saga has a happy ending. I discovered Iranian/Persian food, and it was amazing – not spicy and not mysterious. For this Goldilocks it was just right. I am also getting into the Bollywood movies. They are loads of fun and very refreshing. Losita showed me a movie from the 70s. It’s like “Weekend at Bernies” but Hindi style. It’s a real crack-up and I highly recommend the movie if i can remember the name, which i can’t, sorry. I love how in Hindi movies and music videos how they court each other the way they sing and dance for hours and bobble their head. It’s so hypnotic to me.

The workshop for Penang we decided to cancel as we only had two that could show up and its understandable as we were very last minute in putting the word out there. So we decided to work with two people personally and individually. The first person was a Chinese guy named Henry that took us out to that Chinese dinner experience I told you about. And the other was a Chinese girl named Aleene who contacted me on Facebook. She found me recently and saw my post about Malaysia being hot and smelly and hoped I could come to Penang where it’s much cleaner and does not have as much litter and open sewers as KL. So, it was decided that for the first part of our trip in Penang we would hang out with Henry and the second part with Aleene.

Henry took us out to lunch showing us different restaurants as he loved introducing me to all the strange new foods and tastes. He was something of a businessman/inventor that had many ideas and projects in the works to help bring consciousness to Malaysia. He was very excited to talk and had much to say and had lots of metaphysical questions to ask. What I shared with him seemed to resonate with him and the next thing I knew he invited me to his place to meet his wife and some of his friends. It was at his place that I tried this super strange Midieval weapon looking fruit called durian. For those of you that do not know what durian smells like it’s something like a stink festival of 1,002 farts and all other things that are foul. This fruit is illegal to bring in the airport, and I recalled it to be the culprit for stinking up my bag when I had to keep it in Henry’s trunk for a bit. After plugging my nose I was able to taste the stuff, which was alright, but not something I would choose to eat. After Henry stuffed me with food he and his friends grilled me with more metaphysical questions and the more I answered the more random Asian people kept showing up. It was like they kept telling their family members or friends to come here now. They must have been texting this on their phones. And soon they all wanted private sessions. So I spent my next few days seeing person after person. This was really helpful as I was still pretty tight cash-wise. I did not make that much for the workshops I did as the profits were split four ways, so this really helped me get back with basic expenses and be able to afford a ticket to my next destination.

Chapter 4 The Trekky Buddhist

With my being only a few days in Penang, the word got out even more what I can do and what I know, and then everyone started fighting for time with me. I was booked up for the whole week and the next staying as late as midnight with people. Losita was not around much at this time as she had made some plans with her family to meet her out in Penang to have a mini vacation with them. This is one of the reasons why we were so last minute with our plans, because Losita could only be away from her family for so long. So even if people were looking to book us for the fall to do a tour in Europe and Dubai, she would be looking for ways to bring her family with her, which made things tricky.

I admired how Losita was not doing her work for a huge profit even though her family was struggling in Singapore. She really wanted to move out and was looking into making some plans to do workshops with me in Toronto and Vancouver as she felt called to move her family to Canada, but she was having visa problems. I did not blame her for wanting to get out of Singapore. It’s a very stressful and challenging place to live. But Canada was getting that way, too, and it seemed like all countries were sadly heading in this commercial globalization direction.

On the last day with Losita in Penang before she headed back to Singapore with her family, Henry had one more person he wanted us to meet. This meeting came about when he was talking to his friend and his friend named Mr Trek, told Henry about a dream he had with two women. One was from India and one was from North America. Henry took it as a sign that Mr. Trek had to meet us, so he made plans for us to go to Mr. Trek’s place. When we pulled up to the house a man hobbled out. He had one leg longer than the other and because of that he had to hobble about his whole life. But Mr. Trek did not seem to mind it at all. He had a good sense of humor about it.

As I exited the car I had this very annoying wedgie so I started picking it out, only to look up to see someone standing right in front of me who could only be Mr Trek. He had his hand out to shake, but I did not think I should shake hands after him and everyone else clearly saw me pick a wedgie out so I gave him a hug instead. I mean what could i say no not rectal archeology but soul archeology is my thing? Losita rolled her eyes as she was not surprised at all. I was not exactly lady-like at all. Mr Trek was a rather prestigious person, successful in business and had pet tigers and tortoises living together harmoniously. He was of average height, in his late 40s, and had a shaved head like a monk.

Mr Trek’s house was very interesting. The entrance had Egyptian figurines and Buddhist figurines and a huge collection in a sealed glass case of dinosaur bones and teeth. There were some fossils, too, that he had bought from museums and auctions. His living room had a giant fish tank that actually took up one whole wall, and the fish were huge so it actually was not big enough for them. The fish had kind of angry faces, so I imagined that they were most likely swearing in fish language: “You son of a sea foam, mermaid puke.” No doubt, as there were too many, and they were too big but were soon to be released. The living room had Star Wars, Star Trek, and Spiderman figurines everywhere. The doors were designed to look like the doors from the Star Trek Enterprise, and when the lights went out the roof had this techno-color kind of cosmos nebula depiction. Where the computer was there were these kind of walls that had built-in Enterprise screens, just like on the spaceship with full detail. It even lit up in the exact way it did in the show. I did make a video of this place. I should see where it is.

His wife was doing some work in this room. I found her to a be a very kind and smart woman. Then he brought us upstairs which was where many famous monks had stayed the night at his place, and we got a view of his back yard which is were he said he used to have two huge snapping tortoises and two huge tigers roaming in the yard, but recently he gave them to the zoo. Damn, I wish I had not missed that. It would have been an awesome sight to see.

We did some meditation, and he also seemed to be excited as he talked with me about my purpose and how he could see it, that I would be well-known. But I said, “Ah, this is a mirror. You’re actually talking about yourself. This is your mission.” He got very nervous with this. He knew I was right, but he was not ready to accept such a vision to be so well-known. He would rather lay low, “But, come on,” I said. “You’re already a business mogle. You had this dream for a reason. I was called to you to help you embrace your path. You can do it. After all, you have connections with so many influential people. I mean, look, you were even on the cover of an inventor magazine. I saw it when I was exploring your house. Can you not see you’re being prepared for such work?” But he then tried to turn it around on me saying what if its your work i know how to make you famous if you want, so you can do this mission instead of me. I said oh no this is your work not mine, we each have our own part to play in it, your not getting out of your work that easy either. We then sat down and did some meditations, and he gave me a special meditation. Then we exchanged contact info made plans to meet in a week from then. I want to add that I am not one to really meditate. I never have really done it , but sometimes when you’re in the presence of someone like him you just kind of go with it and try to not let your leg fall asleep.

A few days later me and Mr Trek met up again. I also was expecting another friend, a man from the States. He is a good friend of my friend, Larry, who was the lawyer for Jewel and had brought me to many of her concerts, even backstage. When he asked me if I could meet up with his friend, Gonga, and his wife I said sure. We all met up at a monkey park. These monkeys were a bit wild and were not to be trusted. Never the less, I wanted to feed them anyway, even though it was a bit risky. I made it out ok. I am always happy to see monkeys. I always dreamed of traveling to Asia some day and meeting the monkeys, but to the people here they are a total nuisance. I heard stories of them climbing buildings up to as high as the 27th floor, climbing in the windows, and raiding the pantry. The would eat all the food, even opening the fridge and trashing the place, having a disco party with all their other monkey friends, all while the person living in the apartment was passed out with headphones in their ears. Who would have suspected the monkeys would go that far or that high up? You could not leave anything outside, either, as it would disappear. If a monkey takes something you’re most likely not going to get it back. They do not care, they will take anything and everything. Sometimes people see strange human objects in trees, such as laptops, cameras, shoes, car keys and teddy bears, etc.

Chapter 5 Up in the Air

Gonga and his wife did not arrive until later that day. They were dressed all in white like the kind of clothes that devotees wear in India and, sure enough, they were living in India visiting Malaysia to do a conference. Gonga was also a Jewel fan and had known her personally. He and his wife had also met many Indian siddhas and were very fascinated with how they lived and their stories. When they were living in the States and pursuing the American Dream both had good jobs and made lots of money, yet they were not happy. So when they went to India and learned about the siddhas they decided to leave their jobs give away all they had for free and live simply on very little. They would no longer live a life focused on money. They would not ask or charge. They would live on donation and simplify their lives. In India it’s very cheap. You can live on $50 (USD) a month, all expenses included. For many years that’s how they lived in India. Then they felt pulled to travel around the world sharing the messages from the siddhas and the potential we all had. They spoke about the abilities lying dormant in us and shared special meditations that often would cost lots of money. They were doing it for free with donation options available. I was invited to their conference as it was being held at the same place we had originally planned to do our workshop in. It was very interesting to observe how Gonga presented his message and how much he really connected with the people. Here is a link about him to learn more.

After their conference we got to talk a bit more. They told me their plans after Malaysia. They would be going to China and then to Japan, and I was welcome to come with them, but I would have to find my own place and make my own way there. It sounded quite intriguing to me. I mean I know I was supposed to go to Bali, but it was still not tangible yet, still up in the air. Losita was easy going and flexible with me. Why was China suddenly appealing, because I never wanted to go there before? It does not seem like a very nice place to be, especially what I have heard and all the repression, but that’s also the exact reason I should go to china. I wanted to know if it was true or if I just thought it was how others say it is, believing what I hear rather than experiencing it for myself. Ok, I heard you can be followed the whole time you’re there and they can give you a hard time if you go to Tibet.. Spirituality is pretty taboo in china. Perhaps it’s not a place for me but then again maybe I can spread some light there?

And Japan, well I think everyone wants to go to Japan. It’s like a living Japanese anime cartoon in itself. It sounds too alien, exciting, fun and serious at the same time, such an intriguing paradox. Is this my chance to finally go to these places? I usually never turn down an offer or chance to explore something new. So I delayed in getting my ticket to Bali. I would wait to see if China and Japan was more meant to be and stronger than Bali. I was even willing to wait last minute to get my flight ticket if need be. In the meantime, I’m not in a rush to make a decision or go to Bali. Instead, I decided to chill more in Malaysia. And Losita flew back to Singapore with her family. We would not see each other again till early October for our next workshop that I had to set up.

I was unsure where I was going to stay in Penang now, as I did not want to stay in the expensive motel that Losita found for us. It was not so bad to split the price but on my own I would not last long. With perfect timing I got a message on Facebook. A girl named Lea wrote me after she read my post about how I was in Malasia and invited me to stay with her for free for as long as I needed. I took her up on the offer. She lived in a beautiful place, very high up in a sky apartment flat that had a huge pool surrounded by lots of nature and lots of monkeys just waiting for you to leave something out that they can steal. I spent my days reading, writing, processing and doing session for clients.

The book I was reading was by R. Buckminister Fuller called “Operating Manual for Spaceship Earth.” It was pretty good, I must say. In my evenings I hung out with my new friend. She was Chinese so I could ask her all my questions about the culture and food and as for working on my Mandarin, well, it’s the same with my Spanish, French, and even English – still needs work. Ok, a lot more work.

In the evenings I got introduced to Persian food, which I really enjoy. It has so much flavor even vegetarian dishes are exciting. Lea took me out to some night markets and even some clubs on the night of her birthday. So it was a bit awkward for me as I felt like I was expected to go, though I really do not like or understand clubs. Everyone there is pretending to be something they are not. Yep, clubs are the same in any country as they are back home in Canada, so why travel and go to them? Same with traveling and staying at a resort where it’s the same as any resort, how boring.

I also stayed in touch with Gizmo and spoke with him a bit, but he was starting to get really hung up on me and asking me about my plans for Bali and that Losita had invited him to go and maybe we could meet up there. He was looking for a way for us to be together, but I felt he was being a bit too possessive, and it was making me uncomfortable. So, I decided to not talk to him as much as we did before. I do not like to talk to people when they always expect me to. That’s a kind of subtle control/manipulation that I know all too well and so I tend to shy away from this. What is the purpose of talking everyday, to prove that we care? Does being involved or even loving someone really mean calling places when you cannot afford the bills? And what if we have nothing to say that day except the cliché, should we say it anyway because it’s expected? It was just too much like my ex to me, and no way was I going to recreate that pattern or relationship. My ex would call me 20 times a day for no reason. Am I glad now that I lost my phone in Thailand. I like to have my space. If people want to contact me they can contact me via the internet or telepathically. Ah, good old fashioned t-mail. Anyone who tries to contain or control me I bolt like a rogue horse.

The next couple days to follow were intense moon times. I had no idea how many retrogrades were going on at that time, but did they ever zap my body and brain. That intense emotional moon retrograde time actually carried on for weeks. I tried to not be at the mercy of it and do something productive and domestic such as an attempt at fixing my clothes via sewing, but I have not sewed since I was in eighth grade when I made my mom some pajamas. When she tried them on they fell apart, and she was left standing bare naked. Now, many years into the future I am still lousy at sewing , cooking and cleaning, and I still do not drive, nor can I spell or do math. But least I can assist with saving the world. Yep, I’m going to make a great mom one day. The kids might starve, but at least they will have lots of love and a better world.

The truth is, I do what I do cause I am lousy at everything else. School, jobs, it seems the thing I am best at is being me. That seems to work for me. I’m good at being honest, and that works for me. I hope my future partner can handle that as most can’t. That’s what is motivating me the most at this time, to just be understood and belong somewhere, to just be me, being free to be. Then perhaps others can be free to be as well. To be understood is key to me. If I can be an example of being free then others can follow suit.

I was unsure about where I was going until the last minute. For a bit I thought I would skip China and go to Japan after Bali or go to Japan first. Then I met up with Gonga again, and he said they are having a hard time establishing themselves out in China and Japan, so it may be tricky for me to come along, and it’s better if I stick to my original plans and go to Bali. I was still having people come out for sessions with me, squeezing in as many as I could with me and their family and friends before I left. Some of them were so grateful they wanted to help me with whatever I needed, even getting a last minute one way ticket to Bali for $100 USD, which was not a bad price.

Mr Trek saw my ticket was for some ridiculous early morning flight and offered for me to stay at his place for the last night as it was closer to the airport than Lea’s place. It was nice to stay in a different place with totally different energy, as I stayed at Lea’s place for about three weeks. It’s weird being at other people’s places as they all have their own unspoken rules. Though most of them are super nice and awesome you never know what and where their buttons are so you’re careful and it feels as if you’re walking on eggshells. It’s so weird how close you can get talking online before even meeting in person. Then you meet in person, you stay for a bit, a couple weeks or a couple months. You become super close then you go on your way and you drift apart somehow. It’s like you’re strangers again and that whole experience you shared was like a dream that you’re not sure if it happened or not? Or maybe it was another lifetime ago? I try to not let this happen but it always seems to, even if there is no falling out, which rarely happens.

It’s a strange thing about living and traveling how I do. I do not like it, but there is nothing I can really do about that part. My last day with Mr. Trek was really good. He and his wife were so awesome. They took me out for Japanese food and I tried saki (Japanese rice wine). Then they took me to the market to get whatever I wanted from the bakery. What’s that green stuff, I will try that. Mr. Trek’s sister came by to say her goodbyes. We bonded, as well, during my brief time there.  We managed to also squeeze in a little drive around some exotic gardens. We just tried to do as much as we could that day. And before I knew it the day flew by, and I was getting ready for bed, being quite bemused at the thought of all the famous monks who had slept in that bed. Would I somehow pick up something from them by sleeping in it as psychometry would suggest? (Psychometry is feeling other people through objects or just by being near something that others used. If you were focused enough you could download all that they knew, felt, saw and experienced.) And, with that thought in mind, I nodded off to sleep. I do not remember the flight at all. I must have spent it processing my time in Malaysia. I ended up really liking that country, especially Penang. That place was really good to me. I am definitely open to going back there one day.

And, the next thing I knew, I was at the Bali airport. Little did i know that this trip to Bali would radically change myself and my life forever.

warm embrace laced in grace

thank you for you being you


we are the answer to our prayers

Author: Jessica Schab

Memoirs of a Former Mystic - Blogs I've written many blogs but the series about my time in Bali, Indonesia, when my radical changes took place, is what has garnered the most curiosity and acclaim. In it, I share everything about that process from beginning to end and in great detail, so that others can get to know me and better understand what I am about. My Bali Blog series is an exploration of my own personal confusion towards rational thinking that has helped myself and others to see our own cognitive dissonance. It exposes the many things that we hide from ourselves and why. ​I highly suggest to read the blogs in order, from part 1 to 5. Otherwise, it will be hard to understand the content. I myself am shocked to realize that I had no idea how conditioned and problematic my spiritual beliefs were until I wrote these blogs; how they affected every aspect of my life and created so many unnecessary problems, making me so afraid to even dare to think or imagine my life and who I was without them. I can see now the contradictions I had to want to understand, watching these elements fight within me, planting mine fields of self-destruction in my mind when I forced myself to think without spiritual beliefs that acted like a drug for me, often times taking over my mind and thinking for me. How could I get myself to stop protecting these beliefs? Such a question led me to understand why others are so keen to choose irrationality instead of logic when it comes to their ideologies. It's one of the many reasons that led to me speaking up about why I am so concerned about this movement and the dangers of these beliefs. I would describe my changes as a massive tidal wave; a tsunami sweeping me and everything I was familiar with away. I honestly do not think I would have made it had I not learned how to surf my psyche. You would think the tidal wave would be the worst of it, right? So did I. I can say it’s not the case. You can ask people who have experienced a massive tsunami or any natural disaster and they will tell you the worst part is actually the aftermath; dealing with the dramatic shift, and in my case the psychological changes. How does one go on after something like that? What next? It’s not like one can go back to how things used to be and forget it ever happened; the experience echoes in your bones. It’s futile and insane to rebuild the old and familiar in your psyche and to encourage former hopes and beliefs. Especially because it often is what beckoned and fuelled the tsunami to begin with. When you get to the root, you must start completely new so as not to recreate the past. ​Ha! Easier said than done! So, these blogs are also an invitation and challenge to detect what is confusion and what is fact. To have people ask themselves: Are my beliefs thinking for me? It becomes more apparent and easier to pinpoint and reduce one's conditioned thinking when one finishes the whole series in order. Then, one can see their own results on how they scored with detecting and exploring their own cognitive biases.​ Best of luck. ​Enjoy and please let me know what you think :-)

One thought on “Malaysia July/Aug 2012

  1. Pingback: Singapore Bus Services | Singapore Tourism Australia

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s