Jessica Schab

Bali Blog Series

Queensland Australia June 2012

Leave a comment

Authors note- in some way these blogs can seem silly, not at all what would expect from a mystic. I’m very childlike as you see that’s how i live my life mostly; like a kid. Then their are these real deep thoughts and mystical tendencies that just come out of me randomly and that’s my blog non of it is made up its all true. i refuse to make up or exaggerate anything i want people to see how exciting truth can be and so much more richer then fiction. In truth is the mystical deep stuff can only come from being childlike its the fuel that brings the mysticism up when ever its needed so that’s a secret code i give to people in my blogs something to read in between the lines. its all about perspective and perception.. enjoy my blog 🙂

Chapter 1 The Reunion

Losita and I flew into Queensland together and were promptly picked up by Barb and Hawk. I’ve known them since the first time I went to Australia and attended the Nexus conference where I met Project Camelot. They said I stood out to them the moment they saw me. They said I was glowing and that they suspected there was something about me, so they watched me closely. They were most impressed when the Mitchell Hedges crystal skull was brought out and everyone waited in line for their chance to meet the skull. When it was my turn I sang to it and the whole room stopped and watched me. I did not think anything of it at the time. It was just me having a moment with a crystal skull and doing what came to me in that moment. The crystal skull had visited me in my dreams numerous times. Anyway, I did not know that Barb and Hawk had recorded that moment. It meant a lot to them, so much so that we stayed in touch all this time and in almost every single letter Barb kept enticing me to come and visit her and stay at their lovely place. She took every opportunity to tell me how beautiful it was there and that I must come some day. So when she heard that I was planning to come to Southeast Asia, she jumped at the offer and said, “Jess, Asia is so close to Australia why don’t you come and visit and stay with us? We can even arrange a workshop for you too! We know just the people and places that would be glad to host you.”

I knew this was our time to meet up again.

I think I found a slice of awesomeness in Mt. Warning (aka Fern-Gully, the last rainforest featured in an animated movie called “Ferngully”). It’s breathtaking. The place is helping me with my homesickness as it looks and feels so similar to my home in Vancouver, BC, Canada.

Chapter 2 My Health Diet Evolution

I was also pleased to learn that they have real organic, non-sprayed, non-GMO food, too. Yeah, finally! I was hoping as I traveled that, surely, there was a place out there that has managed to elude this insanity, and here it is. Only thing is when I finally got that kind of food I had already lost interest in it. Maybe it was because Hawk and Barb were omnivores and okay with it, but suddenly I was not around people who were not particular with food having to always be a certain way. With Hawk and Barb, there was no stress with food. They ate whatever they felt like, and there was no guilt or judgment. Now, just because they were flexible with food I do not mean they ate constant junk food or lots of meat, which they did not. It was not such a big deal there. Meals were actually simple, healthy. Not too healthy but not too processed, either. It was a nice balance.

At first I tried to eat healthy, but there is always so much stress that seems to go with eating healthy, psychologically as well as on many other levels. Healthy to me is no stress, something like the Lion King saying Hakuna Matata – no worries. I do not mean ignorance is bliss, either. I just found the less stress I had with food the better I felt. I think the stress of eating not the best food is worse then eating the food itself. In contrast, living in Canada with my ex, I was eating the best food (raw veggies), taking the best supplements, and doing the best yoga exercises, but I was not happy or healthy at all. I was always stressed. So funny how I was no longer in that situation, but a part of my mind was still acting like I was there, and so the same patterns would play out. Such as trying to eat the same way, and do the same yoga.

Most animals do not have guilt when they eat meat. They also do not eat more than they need like we do, nor do they really care about yoga. They do not force themselves to eat three square meals a day having meat every time. I think it’s the over-consumption and fear of the future that is the problem. The greed is a problem, too – the idea that we own everything and have a right to do whatever we want to the animals and plants. That caused us to kill them with no respect, and plants scream, too. We are doing the same thing with our plants in organic gardens now and charging a hefty price calling it healthy, but what about the headspace of the farmers or, even more pressing, our mental space and fears when we consume? Is it a good idea to be in such anxiety with what we eat? To the point that we vomit if we find we consumed a bit of cheese or something or rush to get a colonoscopy or force our kids to get one, too? Am I to believe that’s healthy? Is this how I want to be? How I want to live my life? It’s a form of self-inflicted hell, and I do not want to live my life that way.

Besides, I feel we have it backwards. We cannot heal the body by eating healthy if our mind is a mess. It all starts in the mind. If we are aware of what we are doing to our psyche and the damage and fear there then that would reflect in our body. It’s the only way. I met others who ate whatever and did not have the healthiest habits. But they were clear in their minds and, thus, healthy – more so than me. Wow, what’s up with that? Aside from that, freeing myself from old conditioning’s was important too.

I had to remind myself I am a free and independent woman now. I’m not still in the past. But if that was true, why were the ghosts still there haunting me and acting like an authority of my now moments, confiscating them for some stupid reason I did not yet understand?

Chapter 3 Barb & Hawk

I took my mind off of this for a bit as we pulled into Hawk and Barb’s driveway. We talked the whole way there. The conversation was so natural and smooth like I had known them my entire life. Where they lived was just breathtaking. Up in the mountains so green and lush and birds, oh the birds! Bright colored ones sang such exotic sounds I have not heard before, and it was much warmer than in Melburrrrn. The energy was much more peaceful. I could actually breathe and think here. I sat outside a lot just enjoying the energy of the place. Inside the house there were statues: Egyptian sarcophaguses, famous Egyptian deities, and a crystal skull family. They were not kidding when they said they had a special fondness for crystal skulls. There were a couple of huge ones and some baby ones. Upstairs there was an epic library and a dark blue room. There was a games room, too, made to look like an Indiana Jones cave that had all the collectibles and memorabilia you can imagine. I loved this room, especially in the night when the black light lit the pool table that makes white glow with a tinge of semi-blue in the dark. Oh, how I loved wearing the Indiana Jones coat and hat everywhere we went and playing with that whip (whipshhhh as the theme song played in my head).

Hawk and Barb are very warm and friendly, but guarded people. Barb is originally from the States and was a former personal assistant to Tony Robbins himself. But I do not think it went very well, or he is not who others think he is. I can tell there is some frustration coming from her when she talks about him and that time in her life. Barb is an amazing artist, as well. She specializes in dots, lines and squiggles that make up extremely detailed depictions of nature and old buildings in the small town she lives and is most fond of. They are exact replicas of the landscapes that take a long time to draw. It boggles my mind how someone can have such a clear vision of the bigger picture from dots and lines and make such complex, elaborate drawings.

Hawk is a very sensitive man born and raised in Australia. He loves animals and is like a gentle, tender, playful kid. They both are guarded, though, because they have a connection with a being that most of the town would not be ready or able to handle, and because they are so different and march to the beat of their own drum. They keep to themselves. That’s a big reason I think they wanted me to come and stay with them. They knew they could be themselves with me and talk to me about anything and vice versa. There would be no judgment of any kind. Now I am used to people telling me the most outlandish things to the point that little shocks me, the most out-there topics are my norm. I truly feel we live in an infinite universe layered and connected to many dimensions, parallels, timelines and so forth. People are universes and worlds in themselves, able to access all kinds of different radio stations that others may not, though if you’re around them enough and if you’re sensitive you may find a new connection open up and you can tune into that dormant radio station in you.

Chapter 4 The Spirit of Jim Lives

It’s been over 10 years since the ghost of Jim Morrison began speaking and living with Hawk and Barb. It was a strange thing because Hawk did not even know much about Jim. He just thought he was a drunken crazy rock star until he came to him one day in a Reiki channel workshop. It took a while but they built up a friendship and an understanding. Jim wanted nothing from Hawk, just to share more about his life and experience of a life beyond through the means of poetry. He simply wanted Hawk to write for him. Jim felt annoyed that he was misunderstood in his life as Jim and wanted to clarify things. He and The Doors were not just about drugs, sex and rock and roll. It was more metaphysical and poetic. I, myself, do understand how annoying and frustrating it is to be misunderstood. You try all your life to find the right words, the right metaphor to explain something, and yet, somehow, you still end up being misunderstood. Or, in Jim’s case, you pass on and that desire is still there so you continue doing the same thing on the other side. Jim said it was just like his song: “Try to run, try to hide, break on through to the other side. The band’s name, itself, The Doors, refers to the many dimensional doors that there are. Jim has proven to them that he is who he says he is numerous times with sharing events that were to happen and then they did. There were also private, personal, secret things about his life that only the closest people knew about Jim only to find it had been revealed right after Jim’s spirit shared it with them.

Jim is a friend in their house. He would come and go, and it was natural. He never spooked them or did anything like we think a ghost usually does. There are all kinds of spirits out there with different personalities and characters – some are tricksters, some are confused, some are lost, and some are just plain angry, while some are gentle and only want to create and share. Again, we have to watch ourselves with definitions and stereotypes, even in the spirit world. Whether it was really Jim or not, no-one can really say. It was a harmless, equal relationship that bent space and time. Jim is a poet and even in the spirit world he is still a poet and wants to continue to write and, due to some mysterious connection, he has chosen Hawk to write for him. Hawk jokes and says I am a ghost writer for a ghost. Together they wrote a book called More Joy Rising (which is a play on words as it’s actually an anagram, a way to say Jim’s name by rearranging the letters).

In the book there are many deep poems. Hawk read some of them to me, and I was really moved by the beauty, the sincerity and the rawness of the poems and the tears down Hawk’s eyes as he read. It was like having a door to look inside the real Jim. (ha – excuse the pun). I should share here that I did not know much about Jim Morrison myself. I just thought he was some rock star. I never saw the movie about him and did not know any of his songs or, I did know the songs but I did not know they were by him. The lyrics, melodies or voice never stood out to me at all. So I got to know Jim through Hawk and Barb. I got to know him not as a crazy rock star, but a mystical being. He was a poet who had so much to share, and who is very loving and considerate.

I am so used to just not hiding anything and sharing whatever. I thought, Why don’t they go public with this? They had tried before in their small, simple-minded town full of rednecks, which are known as bogons here in Australia. Hawk and Barb were met with great opposition and judgment, even conflict that led to them being more ostracized, so they had to keep more to themselves. Hawk was frustrated with this. Why was he chosen to do this work with Jim if the world was not ready and would only end up making his life more difficult and complex? Ok, people are not ready for this so what is he to do in the mean time? How does one live with this? I could understand. I imagine my dad felt the same way: What to do when you’re getting information that is ahead of your time, or outside/beyond our time? And you live in an area of dead heads? So I suggested putting it up on YouTube for the ones who could benefit from this message and understand they would be led to it as this is how it went for me. It was powerful listening to Hawk read Jim’s words out loud. Most of the time Hawk would get emotional and tear up, it was clear that they had a very special relationship and a huge love for one another. And Barb, being the great supportive partner that she is, stood by and supported her man no matter how out there it all got. Now I understood why there were ghostly faces of Jim all around their property and sometimes even on random rocks on the sides of the road.

Chapter 5 The Cave & The Eo & The Castle on the Hill

After a few days of relaxing and lying low we were taken out to see some of the nature – the forests, the mountains, the wildlife, some caves and waterfalls where Hawk played when he was a kid. This particular place was a sealed-in cave but because of many years of water pouring on the roof a hole was formed and the water found its way through to spread its watery message to the cave, which inspired and beckoned the glow worms to claim real estate and disco in that cave. On the way back, Hawk saw a porcupine – or an echidna in Australia. I, for some reason, got so excited and dyslexic when I saw it, that I called it an enchilada, which made everyone laugh. Hawk went out to try to make sure it moved safely across the road and then made an attempt to catch it, but he needed gloves. It was a very strong creature it dug itself in a log shyly hiding its face quills up and was un-moveable.

On the weekend in the evening, Losita and I were brought to a place known as Castle on the Hill. It was the location where we would do our workshop the following week, and we were invited to check out the place and meet the people that were going to host us. I was told everyone was so excited to have Jessica Mystic there with them to be present during their full moon meditation. I chose to lie down like some others chose to do, and I said “Ok, I’m going to leave my body now.” Apparently there were four long meditations done in a row with loud singing bowls, but I did not know any of this because I was sleeping so deeply and snored so loud, I was louder than the singing bowls, and I was told they were extremely loud. They were trying to blare out my snoring, but to no avail. Apparently, I just snored even louder as if some part of me was in a competition with those bowls to see who could make the most noise. Poor Losita was embarrassed and kept poking me trying to wake me up, but I did not wake up, not until the end of the meditation. And I said, “Oh, wow, that was a short meditation. It must be time for a break or something. Is it half-time?” Losita just rolled her eyes, laughed and said, “No, it’s all done. You slept through the whole thing and everyone is shocked to believe that Jessica Mystic could do such a thing.”

Then came the day that Eo arrived. We all went to the airport to pick him up. Hawk and Barb warmly received Eo, everyone got along so well, and we just had lots of fun. I can honestly say we pretty much all just laughed most of our time together. Eo attended the workshop for free. I decided to make him cameraman, though, and I would invent jobs for Eo just to keep him around as much as I could.

Chapter 6 On My Workshop

I have always been hesitant to do workshops. So many people asked me to and suggested I do them, but I declined. Mainly I declined because I did not understand the concept of teaching or explaining what I did and how it worked. No words can explain how I work, it exists beyond words. How do you teach something that you just know?

I always imagined if I ever did a workshop it would be like play or hanging out with me for the day and conversing with trees, or learning the perspective and view of life through a rain drop. You cannot teach that. You can only be reminded of what you once knew and how you lived when you were a kid. Nowadays, either you get it or you don’t. You’re either open and willing to go beyond your tunnel vision or you’re not. The ones who cannot do this, I feel, do not want to be reminded of their original heartbreak, of when they once knew, and when they said adieu to it all. But then we can ask ourselves why can some do it and others can’t? The answer to me has always been Soul Archeology, which is what I called the workshop. It’s about being able to trust ourselves and not fear the unknown and what we get. It’s about digging deep inside yourself and not being afraid to get your hands dirty in order to understand what’s beyond or behind the idea of you and all that you peruse. How do you get people to see and understand that so they are no longer in their own way?

In order to help you better understand my attempt to demonstrate what I do and what I am about, I will provide a brief skeletal layout. The first day was mainly focused on some questions we asked each person publicly such as:

1) What has brought you here?

2) What are your big questions in life, personal and general?

3) What do you love to do?

4) What would you be doing with your life if money was no object?

5) When you were a child what did you want to be when you grew up?

6) What is stopping you from doing what you want to do right now?

7) What is your relationship with the challenge?

8) What are your feelings behind the challenge?

9) Where is this feeling coming from?

10) What are your deepest challenges? For instance, guilt, shame, fear, etc…

11) What do you think are the expectations the world and your family have of you?

12) Are those expectations true and are they you? Is that truly in your heart how you want to live?

13) What do you know in your heart that you want to do, meaning what does freedom look like to you?

14) Why do you want to achieve this?

15) Is this for your own personal gain or integral gain?

Then about here I would talk about how real manifesting works which is not what people think. I made a video about it in Thailand that is on Youtube that you can refer to if need be. Then we would ask more questions to each person such as:

16) Who am I at this time? Who do I think I am? How does the world see me? How and why do others see me as something I am not?

And deeper and deeper we would go. Like I said, it’s like archeology. We would have to dig to go past all the layers, the smoke and mirrors we tell ourselves in order to get to the root. Then we would get into fear and how it is an acronym for false evidence appearing real. By this time, everyone was pretty shaken up and emotional as they see most of their dreams and goals are not even theirs and how they forgot their true dreams and how they used to live and be. They start to see that their life did not go as they wanted because of direct and indirect fears getting in the way. They can see how those fears were disguised as love or various other things, and because of this the people can clearly see how we manifested a co-creative collective nightmare, a living nightmare.

This is where we would talk about the Illuminati, but not making them into enemies. Rather, we would examine how we feed them and how there is no “them,” how it’s all a mirror of what’s going on inside of us. We start to realize it does not have to be this way, that as quick as we can become lucid in a dream and know we are dreaming and change things like the story I share of how I ended up working on a cruise ship. I share that story at about this part of the workshop which shows how as quickly as we get ourselves into a situation we can get ourselves out. We have to do this collectively. By doing this you have to see fear as a teacher and a friend.

Then I would talk about making fear fun like in the third Harry Potter movie. The kids in that movie had to learn how to deal with an entity that would take on the kid’s worst fears. They would use a counter spell. For example, one kid’s worst fear was spiders, so there appeared before him a giant spider. The counter spell was Ridiculous! And when the kid yelled “Ridiculous!” the giant spider suddenly had roller skates on its eight legs and was flailing around trying to stay upright, which made everyone laugh and dissolved the fear. That’s one way laughter can calm you down and keep you clear.

The next part is to understand why it’s there to begin with. We would ask some more questions such as:

17) What’s your relationship with your outer and inner fear?

18) What is the opportunity you’re getting from your fear?

19) What is the dark night of the soul?

20) Why do you think it keeps happening to us over and over?

21) What do you think fear of spirits really is?

Here I would get into the psychology of what’s really happening when we experience fears and how we can deal with dark magic and psychic fear, and what is going on behind it. Then I would end this by saying it is imperative to transcend fear and include the dark in the beautiful, as it is a part of our whole experience. To discard it is to discard a part of ourselves.

Then I would get into healing and ask what is healing, how and why does it work the way it does, what are the different levels of healing, what does it really mean when someone has addictions and depression? In actuality we all have this in one way or another, like energy blocks. Finally, I would move into understanding multidimensional aspects of healing, such as how to move beyond time and space, I also call it time travel healing and I do my best to explain how that works, exactly. And that would be the end of the first day. We always went overtime as it’s a jam-packed day, and so many people share all kinds of things.

Day two was focused on questions like who am I and who we are – the micro and macro of ourselves. This involves understanding our star connection and star memories as, after all, we are all made from atoms and no one is from earth. Then we talked about dream work including psychic and lucid dreaming, I also shared some of my stories about visiting with others in their dreams and also in the astral realm. I talked about bringing back wisdom from the dream realm. One time I even shared how people could bring back physical objects.

We talked about how to remember your dreams and decode them and what happens behind the scenes in a dream. We talked about nightmares, understanding them, and how to view them and what to do when you get them. We discussed the difference between a nightmare and alien or government abduction; the astral realm and what it is about, why it’s there and what’s going on within it; NDE (Near Death Experience but a better way to describe it as a Near Life Experience.)

After that I would share about merging tangible thoughts with intangible thoughts, what they mean, and where they come from. When you put them together we have ideas that revolutionize the world. For example, Albert Einstein imagined what it was like to ride on a beam of light. That’s an intangible thought, and most of us have been discouraged from having thoughts like and told those thoughts are crazy and whimsical, but he merged it with something tangible. Tangible thoughts include things such as math and physics and because of merging the two he came up with the theory of relativity. Because of Einstein merging those thoughts the world has grown leaps and bounds technologically – but not emotionally, which is a big problem and backwards. A world cannot continue this way, otherwise it will lead to our demise, so we must flip it and to do that we must use and fuse our intangible thoughts with our tangible ones. We all get these visions and insights, but our intent and our ability to trust and clearly decipher this is determined by taking our visions from inspiration to creation.

Then I would share about oneness of mind and how its all connected and looped by micro and macro. If you can understand the micro of, say, a cell then you can understand the macro of a galaxy, but you cannot think or access such insight without integrity and authenticity. By this I mean doing what you want or what the universe wants of you. And that brings us into the paradox of destiny versus freewill and the oxymoron of these two co-existing. We do this by aligning our thinking with the forest’s ways of thinking and not society’s demented and deranged ways.

Here we can see the purpose of the new clear children being born who are labeled indigo, crystals and starseeds. It is important to understand who they are, why they are here, and what their role is at this time. We all need to know how to rear them or let them rear and un-learn us. We need to understand why they are born to certain families, what is the behind the scenes process of choosing your family and coming here at this time.  Have you ever wondered why so many of them are labeled with disabilities and given medication?  I also share how their and are sensitivity and insecurities have ramifications on the collective.

Now ask yourself what did you bring here to this life from all your different lives? What did you bring from your cosmic lives here? We have to understand how every lifetime you have ever lived – human and non-human – has prepared you for this life which is about you becoming aware and having the ability to manage all those lives simultaneously in this one. Think of it as some serious multi-tasking which is what we do when dreaming, but it’s easier with these new children because the mind is not so much in the way.

That’s it. That’s the whole workshop. As you can see, it’s a jam-packed, two-day intensive, and we always run out of time which is why the idea of extending it to a five-day retreat in Bali seemed to make more sense as I would feel very exhausted after every workshop.

This actual workshop in itself was our most successful one yet, but also very intense as when we started to do the soul archeology into the fears part a woman had suppressed memories of some very disturbing things. She found she was a part of something like Satanist blood ritual cults that made her burst into hysterical tears which ended up effecting Eo, too. He was feeling her pain, so I excused both of them to go and Eo held her as it all came out of her, and then after that she was more open. I love watching the before and after of people so closed off at first and slowly stepping out of their comfort zone and coming more into themselves to the point that they are never the same in a good way. I had someone say that they had grown more in those two days of our intensive workshop. Even the host, who had done many workshops at the Castle on the Hill, was moved to tears, which no previous workshop had been able to do. She then felt inspired that maybe I could get through to her husband and open his heart, as he seemed to be closed off from others.  Her husband, named Robert, was a complex and tough artistic scientist who is trying to bring the two worlds together in an academic way where it could hopefully be taken more seriously – more on him later.

Some parents brought their kids to sit in and just listen. It was good to have children at my workshop. I always get reminded as I see them picking their noses so freely without hesitation or caring that they and animals and plants are the real spiritual teachers. Though these kids were young, about 4 and 6, they sat very quietly through the whole two days absorbing everything and occasionally stopping their drawing or coloring projects to give me knowing smiles. So, I can inform you that the age range of this particular workshop was from ages 4 to 70.  There was also a young man named Gizmo who had a thick scientific mind, and he knew to grow in his science he must not discount the spirit side. Being aware of his skeptic stubborn mentality, I could not help but bug him whenever I could in order for him to remember what he once knew and bridge the gap between the two sides of his brain.

Losita and I actually made a really good team. We seemed to compliment each other and add to what the other was saying so well it felt very natural. No struggle to talk or wait till the other was done. It just flowed very easily. When one was tongue-tied the other suddenly knew what the other was thinking and shared it right away. We were also quite the comic duo. Here is a little preview of what our workshop was like –

Astral Travel, Dream Walking & Sleep Paralysis With Jessica Schab & Losita

Soul Archeology & Journey To Spirit : Workshop Day 1 : Introduction

In the middle of our workshop I learned that one of the young men a few years older than Eo had flown out from Adelaide to come to my workshop, and he had nowhere to stay that was not going to cost him a pretty penny so I asked Barb if he could stay with us. She agreed, so he got to stay with us for free. We had the space, after all, and that’s how Harry ended up staying with us. During that time it was like we were all one big family laughing and teasing each other all the time. It really is a memory I will always treasure. All the laughs and jokes, the bonding – life was great, and I could not remember the last time I was this happy.

Chapter 7 Gizmo

Then, one night Gizmo came over. He was the skeptic scientist inventor from my workshop. And he was having some ah-ha moments of his own with his inventions ever since the workshop. He was playing around with radiant energy and was finding ways to integrate the spirit of the metaphysical into his work to go further into it, as he knew he could only go so far without the metaphysical aspect. His work is along the lines of Tesla and Bedini and John Searl. Science and spirit must marry. His invention was recently creating different color energy sparks over certain people’s hearts. It would be green, blue or red and sometimes purple. I think it was about this time that I started to develop a bit of a crush on Gizmo, well maybe a little during the workshop, as well. I just could not help making the link between the left and right brain. Maybe I felt talking to him and getting through to him with these things was like getting through to my oldest brother, Lee, who is very left brain oriented. Or maybe it was to take my mind off of my ex, and so the flirting and sparking continued. I do not think I was aware at that time, but Losita was, and she started bugging me about it – then Barb, then Eo, then Harry. Soon, everyone knew but poor Gizmo. I was a bit baffled myself. How could I develop a crush on him? In some ways Gizmo is similar to my ex. I mean, was I not trying to get away from him and that kind of energy? So, why did I manifest the same kind of person again? Even the first Australian guy I met in the Philippines was a similar story. A party guy barfly, but I was not into partying so what gives? Gizmo did not understand me. I knew that, so of course it would not work. He did not know about my world, and what I actually did.

Should I try to share it with him to get him to understand? It may even open him up to actual life and all the possibilities so he could see first-hand just how much truth was stranger than fiction and, thus, tie it to his work so free energy could be realized in the world through him as well? As far as I was concerned, the more people we had working on free energy the better. Oh, the potential this guy had. But how far do I go to bring it out or justify to myself this silly crush? Every time he came over I would kind of lose myself and become flirty, fluttery and hyper. At one point it was obvious. I could not control it, or I did not want to control it. I wanted to enjoy being free to flirt and just be a girl. It’s so rare in my life that I have been able to do that as most of the time the mystic comes first and relationships and crushes were like my human vacation. But how could I balance them both? I even would get embarrassed easy, and my cheeks would flush red like a tomato, which is not me at all. For those who know me it takes a lot for me to get embarrassed. I want to add I was never alone with him. The whole time we hung out there was always Eo, my groupie, my chaperone afro-puff, or whatever strange name that came to me to refer to him which were always terms of endearment, of course. The silent witness of it all, it was most amusing to him to see me act this way. Gizmo and I also spent lots of time working on my pool skills in the black-lit homage to Indiana Jones den.

Gizmo ended up being the guy to take Eo and I out to see more of the town, as Hawk and Barb were most content being home buddies/bodies. We did this hike into a creek at Gizmo’s place. As we walked in the water we found tons of leaches attached to our feet. Eww. I was also introduced to Gizmo’s dad, who was in lots of pain most of the time. I tried to do what I could to help his dad who had suffered a horrific motorbike accident and was put back together in a very barbaric way with metal screws being put in the wrist which was very painful, even more so than the actual injury. It could never fully heal, and I can’t imagine how it must have felt when the weather gets very cold or very hot and how uncomfortable that must have been to have a big metal thing inside your body. I tried to do what I could. I offered some suggestions with diet and yoga. I did some Jessages and energy work, but he was a stubborn guy and some vices were not so easy to let go of for him, but the guy did manage to make progress with my help. Whenever I would do a healing, my hands would generate so much heat that it was not necessary to build a fire in the house to keep it warm as it was so cold in the nights there, but not as cold as Melburrrn. My energy would get so hot that it kept the house warm for days. I myself would burn up from such internal generated heat (much like how Anastasia would burn up after doing a healing, as well). I later learned that I have to be careful when I do this as I am one of the few who run the risk of spontaneously combusting due to the high amounts of natural body radiation I emit. Um, yeah, that’s good to know. I don’t want to go and explode randomly one day, leaving nothing left but a leg and ashes. That would not be very fun.

Gizmo even took us whale watching. You take a boat and watch as blue whales jump out of the water performing their mating dance. I have never been this close to a whale before. I have always wanted to do something like this, so it was pretty exciting. I loved the big waves that the whales made which rocked the boat and made everyone sea sick. I, instead, jumped or matched my legs to movement with the waves like surfing on the boat.

On another day we all went to see the koalas and kangaroos, and finally a platypus, too. I was bugging Losita about the platypus and how bad I wanted to see one. I mean, come on, those things are super cool. I think they exist mainly to confuse scientists as it does not fit into any box or label. It lays eggs like a reptile, it’s like a fish, part beaver, part duck, part no idea. I like how it can shoot electricity out at prey, talk about a bonus X-Men like creature. The koalas were these fat lazy smelly cute things that were totally drunk on eucalyptus all the time, they were not bad at hugging which often plagued my mind in the past. Hmm, I wonder what it would be like to hug a Koala bear and now I know. It’s heavy, smelly, and itchy, and you have to watch out for the claws. I ended up getting a great pic holding one with Eo and another lightworker friend that hung out with us for that event. In spending time with kangaroos they are pretty chill, fat and lazy and just like to lay around and hop around all day being fed by tourists.

Later on that week we went out to meet some of my old friends from Australia who I had met the first time I came out here five or so years ago. I stayed at their place last time. It was a husband and wife. The wife was expecting a baby at that time, and the wife was sharing about orgasmic child birthing, and the husband was into free energy. So, I thought that would be a good contact for Gizmo. I also got Gizmo in contact with John Hutchinson, an eccentric natural energy inventor, and Will Stilling (who is a friend of Andrew Basiago and a fellow Project Pegasus contender) who explained to Gizmo the technology of a chronoviser, which is a bilocation device. Will shared with us how he got in trouble for bi-locating to Australia without his passport and, supposedly, because of that he was banned from Australia, but I would not be surprised if there was more to that story. All this information was a little over poor Gizmo’s head.

I always tend to overwhelm people with my mystical ways, my understanding on out-there things, and my out-of-the-box connections. I forget so many need just a little at a time. If I could do that, and be basic for people by slowing it down, then I would be like Doreen Virtue or something. I am sure if I went that route I would have been more successful, but I just cannot bring myself to do that nor is that the kind of success I want. I do not want to sell out, because when you do that you’re no longer yourself. Nor do I want to be a slave to fame. I have to be me and do things my own way. like when Gizmo introduced me to an elderly lady who was his only close female friend and who was also a mystic that used the arts and symbols to share her message. She was in her late 70s and was rough and tough as nails. She smoked like a chimney in her tiny place that was cluttered with art paint and all sorts of knick knacks. She ate whatever and had thick cataracts on her eyes so she could hardly see and had various other health issues. I wondered what was keeping this tough old bird together. When she spoke, she talked forever like a mystical version of Grandpa Simpson, talking your ear off to the point that you had a hard time paying attention or keeping up with all that randomness. The things she said often sounded farfetched. It didn’t help any that she had a thick Tazmanian accent, either, that was hard to follow or understand.

I managed to keep up with her, though, and when she tested me without me knowing I was being tested I was able to pass somehow. It’s important to know that you do not need to study to know, you just know when you need to know, and if you can trust that and hush the mind this will be confirmed to you time and again. I did not know I was being tested. I did not know Gizmo wanted her approval of me, especially because I kept hitting at his skeptic walls, trying to put some cracks in them. In the end, I did get her approval although I was not vying for this. She was very happy with how much I was able to open Gizmo up to his potential as she felt that he was special and had much to do in this lifetime. I had to concur because Losita and I kept picking up the same feeling. But, I did not get to talk with her about how to excel his speed in getting there. As it was a delicate matter, if I made a wrong move it could propel him backwards. Though some would say it’s their choice in the end not mine, still the trigger must be precise. It’s not wise to mix it with things within me, that I would like to work on. But, alas, I tend to make things more multi-faceted and complex this way. Taking out two birds with one stone is not enough for me. No, I have to take out like 10 birds with one stone. I have always been this way, even while I write this.

After that we went to the theater to see a much-anticipated movie for me, which was, yep, an animation, Disney’s Brave. It’s the first movie from Disney that includes the mother and even explains about the rift and mending the bonds not just of the mother or family but of nature and our unknown wild side. The story was alright, not the best, but the animation and voiceovers were fantastic. Eo enjoyed the movie, and Gizmo, though not used to sitting through kids movies (he is more into mainstream sexy violent movies), said he did not mind it or so he said, I don’t know. I know this is not the kind of movie he likes. Maybe he was just saying that to impress me.

Chapter 8 Quality Time

The next few days Gizmo went away to Sydney to visit some friends. Eo, Barb, Losita, Harry, Hawk and I hung out at the house, sharing alot more laughs and just all around amazing times. I tried to Jessage everyone as a token of my gratitude, but they were also cautious so as not to over exert me. I just wanted everyone to be pain free as long as I was there. I feel the pain of others if I am in the same room as them or if I talk with them on the phone. It’s not a fun ability to have and really fuels what I do. This is the reason I am so compassionate and do my best to put myself in other people’s shoes so I can understand more and be able to heal others more.

When I massaged Losita, she was lying down on her stomach and she kicked both of her legs up. I sat on her feet which made the perfect seat, to which Barb chimed, “Look it’s a low-seat-a!” We all broke into hysterics. Other times, Hawk would guide us in astral travels. Sometimes Jim would tune in and sometimes not. A ghost has a life of its own, too, you know. They are not just at our beck and call as if we are the center of their universe. Do not expect them to just drop everything and come whenever you call.

In the evenings I spent my time with Afropuff Eo. We would just stare into each other’s eyes silently looking beyond the hologram to see what we could see in each other. We could easily do this for an hour in one sitting straight. I also did some drawings of Eo. We watched some South Park and some old Twilight Zone episodes and some Marilyn Monroe movies. No, Eo is not gay, just super sensitive. Because of that he has had to endure constant torture from other boys in school. He never looked at women the way the other guys did, mainly because he felt it was disrespectful. He never wanted to see a woman as a piece of meat. In one of our videos we did in Australia, many people commented that we made a good couple and should hook up. To this I say Eo and I have never thought or looked at each other in this way. Besides, he is just a baby. Ten years younger than me, and I’m not so keen on robbing the cradle. Also, he is a virgin and proud of it and is waiting for his Anastasia. So that settles those rumors. Eo and I are just really good friends, and we feel more like brother and sister than anything.


Team Tweed & the Valley Compass of Hearts : Jess & Eo

Besides, when we went to the zoo, an emu ended up falling madly in love with Eo and could not stop following him around, zooming in and out on him while it did this really funny dance. I managed to get it on video. It’s called “When an Emu Fell in Love With an Eo.” I think they made a great couple. What do you think? It sure beats Brad and Angelina, if you ask me.

Compass of Hearts : When a Emu Fell In Love With Eo ~ 

That zoo day was a pretty good day. Australia has so many exotic creatures. I think we even got lost in that zoo. It was so huge and complex we just barely caught the tail end of the parrot feeding time.

And then the time came to say goodbye to Harry and Losita. Harry had to head back to Adelaide, and Losita had to get back to her family in Singapore, but I would see her soon enough in about two weeks. We would meet up again to do some workshops in Malaysia and Bali. She had already set it up in Malaysia in two places, Kuala Lumpar and Penang. It was to be my job to set something up in Bali. We were all sad to part, so we started making plans to somehow all meet up in Bali. Eo, rather than going back home like the rest of the gang, decided to extend his trip an extra two weeks so he could fly out the same day as me, which would be easier for Hawk and Barb as it would be one less trip to the airport.

Chapter 9 The White Lions of Timberavati

The next day I did an interview with Jessica Shackleton and two other people who have close ties to the famous white lions of Timbervati. For those of you who do not know about the white lions there is a prophecy that when the white lions return to the planet then peace will return. Just recently, the white lions started to be born. This prophecy is familiar to me as it’s the same for the white buffalo, which I got to see in Flagstaff, Ariz., after my interview with Project Camelot. Pamela Icke, David Icke’s wife, took me under her wing for a bit, and it was she who took me to see the white buffalo. After that, I went to LA where I learned that my favorite singer, Jewel, had been named White Buffalo Calf Woman by the Inuits. When the White Buffalo Calf Woman sings, peace shall return to the planet. There is also a similar prophecy with a white moose, as well, and various other white animals that are mysteriously being born at this time.

Anywho, back to the white lions. I had a friend in France contact me about them, and they felt very strongly that Jess and I speak to these women who worked closely with the white lions in Africa and Credo Mutwa. My friend felt if Jess and I did this interview then we could bring awareness to the people about the white lions and the travesty going on with them. White lions were being hunted in cages and shot directly by wealthy people who wanted their heads for trophies to display as status symbols to all their friends. White lions are rare, they worth a lot, but that does not mean such atrocities should be allowed to go on, but unfortunately it does. This interview, despite the difficulties of trying to do it in four different time zones (USA, France, Africa and Australia) turned out very good. It’s a very powerful interview that I am proud of. It ended with us being invited out to Africa to work with the white lions to bring more awareness about them through the Shabby Shack Show. We would also be introduced to their close friends, including Credo Mutwa and Nelson Mandala’s wife. How exciting! I felt honored. Here is a link to that very powerful interview/conversation

Star Prophecy of ∞ The White Lions of Timbavati

During this interview I learned that Jessica is the granddaughter of the famous polar explorer Sir Ernest Shackleton. Ah, that’s where she gets her spirit from.

Chapter 10 CLEAR

After doing the interview, I laid on the grass, feeling so grateful for all these doors opening up at all times for me. I always found myself taken care of. Even if it seemed like things were going awry – such as losing my only debit card in Thailand. Having made a bit from our workshop – despite splitting it four ways  – I still had just enough to get by. With a few sessions here and there, not to mention the kindness of Hawk and Barb not charging me and my friends for rent or food, I was ok. Their place was also where I had my bank mail out a new debit card, which ended up coming halfway through my time there. I mean, what else could I ask for? As I laid on the grass being grateful to life, I wondered if it was luck or destiny, or kindness or serendipity, or was it my own magic, or was it all the above? I did not know, but I still enjoyed thinking about the wonder of it all. I pondered about the next few months and how it was all to go down, how things would just work out for the planet. I asked earth to do what was done in the movie Avatar where all the animals, insects and microbes stopped the war and army machines and all the other stupidity. Then, just like that, they were able to take the planet back in that movie, so why not do that in this reality? I knew nature could, I charged my hands with as much heat and energy as I could and blasted it into Lady Earth and imagined all the grass lighting up and carrying my message all over the globe, to every blade of grass, insect, bird, fish, animals large and small, psychical and non-physical, nature spirits, germs, microbes, bacteria cells atoms, to spread my message near and far and beyond out into the cosmos of my own being. As I lay on the ground facedown, my heart beating to the earth like a defibrillator, I yelled, “Clear! Clear! We are now clear, ready and able to help stabilize your and our hearts again.”


Chapter 11 Eoverse

I felt like I was on fire. I went to meet up with some of Barb’s friends who interviewed me for their radio show on advising parents on how to raise their indigo, crystal and star children. All the while, Afropuff Eo sat and watched me like a quiet rabbit in the distance. Near the end of our time together there, he did finally talk more. He shared about being physically, mentally and emotionally abused his whole life by a bi-polar mother and the nightmare of school and his strong desire to just be himself despite what others thought. He also shared all kinds of curious mystical things about his life that were baffling him, which compelled him at one time to drive me crazy with tons of emails and Skype messages to the point I stopped talking to him for a bit.

But now, the tables were turned as I started to do videos and talk more about him. I even gave him some of the younger indigos and crystal starseeds that were contacting me. He, too, was now getting bombarded with lots of emails and questions and he said, “I’m sorry now I know what it’s like. I cannot believe that I did this to you once.” I also encouraged Eo in making various suggestions on how he could get out of the trapped situation he found himself in. I encouraged him to work on his music. He has a voice that sounds almost otherworldly. Here is a link to hear what I am talking about . This opened up other doors for him. I found out later one of the girls that attended our workshop in Melburrrn got inspired to open up her own organic grocery store and offered Eo a job to work for her there. That would be a step towards Eo’s independence. He told me he was already making plans to meet up with me in Bali, though he had no idea how it would work or how he would get the money. This was his first trip outside of the country. The trip to the Gold Coast gave him the confidence to extend his wings out a bit further towards the ultimate goal of going to Africa to find his long lost afropuff family and South America because his spirit was calling him there for reasons that seemed even curious to him at the time.

Chapter 12 Taming a Grizzly Bear or a Scholar

And as my fire streak continued, we returned to the Castle on the Hill where we did our workshop. The owner confided with me about her husband Robert, who was a grizzly bear of a scholar and asked if I could speak to him to see if I could get the stubborn eccentric man to budge and open up more to her and to life in general. Later, I did not know as I walked down the hall to go find one of the cats to molest that the old man I bumped into was her husband. He was a very educated man, a professor at Cambridge University in arts and science. He was painting scientific codes and equations such as sacred geometry and the Fibonacci sequence. He was indeed a grizzly bear of a scholar. I do not know exactly how the conversation started but we hit it off right away, and a light went on in his eyes. “You understand what I am saying! This is great! No one seems to understand what I am saying, and it’s been very frustrating,” he said.

We talked more, and he still stayed so grouchy and on his guard. He was a grizzly bear that I was determined to tame. As I did he got more excited as I asked how I could help? He wanted the people at the university to understand how all this tied into the 20th century resonance and how love is not something silly or intangible, but is an equation of its own and must be taken seriously in the universities and, thus, the outer world. Ah, yes, of course I agree with you but what about love in your inner world first. Does it not start there, I inquired? We have to apply it in our own life and all our relationships too, especially our spouse. We cannot ignore them or take our frustrations out on them, even if they do not understand, for there is an equation for that too.

He then grabbed my arm and took me to another room where he showed me his book he was working on. It was a huge book and looked very prestigious. Well-known scientists names were attached to it. He also often quoted Buckminster Fuller. When I showed him I even understood  Buck, and he had not lost me and I was still able to keep up with him, his eyes lit up even more. I saw things clicking in him, but not fast enough for my liking or enough for him to have some major changes in his life and relationship so I said, “Hmm, how to get the universities to understand and take you more seriously? How about a video,” I proposed. He accepted the offer, and it went extremely well. I could hardly believe I was somehow able to hold my own with a Cambridge professor. Innocence and perceptiveness is and always will be smarter than science.

My oldest brother, Lee, went to Cambridge and always put me down. He told me how dumb I was. Now if he saw this what would he say? But I am not doing this to prove whatever to my brother, or some desire to make up some inferiority complex. It was not as important as the bigger picture and staying focused. This professor asked if I would speak at the universities if need be, and I agreed to that, too. So, who knows? I may be speaking at universities sometime in the future.

Here is the link to this interview which I am very proud of.

My Conversation with Professor Robert Pope on The 21st Century Renaissance

Chapter 13 Let it Rip Let it Fly Time to Say Goodbye

My last few days were rushed, as they always are. So many things always come up, and I try to pack as much as I can into one day, trying not to forget all the things I wanted to see and do. I confided in Gizmo, and told my whole story to him, but I was not sure if he understood. Something did not feel right about us being together, but did he see it too? Well, how could he when you flirted so much, and you did not even kiss him, I chastised myself. Don’t dangle a carrot in front of a rabbit’s nose if you have no intention of giving it to them. You’re acting like a tease which is not you, what gives? Was it me talking or my hormones or my rebellion or liberation at feeling free?

Ah, but such things can be short-lived and in further exploration can be counterfeit or fade fast and can lead to yet again another cage. So, I tried to tell him about it on our final parting. Realistically, I said, how do we see this working? How you live and how I live is very different, and I travel lots and my mission is priority over relationships. I cannot imagine how I can have a relationship and do my mission at the same time and is it wise to interfere on that with a relationship or a mission? Which is more pressing? Is it a way to keep ourselves safe or something we must do? If we care for someone we have to let him or her go. I do not think it’s wise to wait for each other. And though there is some interest there I need to be with my own kind. I cannot do the same thing I did with my ex. I know it would end with neither of us being happy. But now you know there are other girls out there than the usual that you meet, that can understand your work too, but it’s up to you where and with whom you spend your time and energy, to determine where it leads.

Ok, he said, but you’re raising the bar pretty high for me. I mean now my standards are a lot higher. Well, that’s a good thing as it should help you to not go back to your old life of partying, I said. Take care, be well, and we will stay in touch. Let me know if there is anything I can do for you to help you on your journey, I said. At our last and final parting, which took place later on in the day in front of everyone, we embraced for a tender moment and that’s when Barb got me back for all the farting I did during my stay with her. She let a huge fart rip that totally changed that deep moment. Gizmo was shocked, as he had no idea what Barb meant by this “I got you back” moment, as I did not show that side of myself to him. With that, Afropuff Eo and I left for the airport at 4:30 a.m. I am glad I got to fit in lots of fun, relaxation and recreational time laced with tons of laughter with some stellar people. I am grateful I got to experience the natural life of the creeks here. I send much warmth and gratitude to my dear Australians. Thank you so much, all of you, for being so freakin’ awesome.

Goodbye Australia. Hello Malaysia.

Warm embrace laced in grace

Thank you for you being you

We are the answer to our prayers


Author: Jessica Schab

Memoirs of a Former Mystic - Blogs I've written many blogs but the series about my time in Bali, Indonesia, when my radical changes took place, is what has garnered the most curiosity and acclaim. In it, I share everything about that process from beginning to end and in great detail, so that others can get to know me and better understand what I am about. My Bali Blog series is an exploration of my own personal confusion towards rational thinking that has helped myself and others to see our own cognitive dissonance. It exposes the many things that we hide from ourselves and why. ​I highly suggest to read the blogs in order, from part 1 to 5. Otherwise, it will be hard to understand the content. I myself am shocked to realize that I had no idea how conditioned and problematic my spiritual beliefs were until I wrote these blogs; how they affected every aspect of my life and created so many unnecessary problems, making me so afraid to even dare to think or imagine my life and who I was without them. I can see now the contradictions I had to want to understand, watching these elements fight within me, planting mine fields of self-destruction in my mind when I forced myself to think without spiritual beliefs that acted like a drug for me, often times taking over my mind and thinking for me. How could I get myself to stop protecting these beliefs? Such a question led me to understand why others are so keen to choose irrationality instead of logic when it comes to their ideologies. It's one of the many reasons that led to me speaking up about why I am so concerned about this movement and the dangers of these beliefs. I would describe my changes as a massive tidal wave; a tsunami sweeping me and everything I was familiar with away. I honestly do not think I would have made it had I not learned how to surf my psyche. You would think the tidal wave would be the worst of it, right? So did I. I can say it’s not the case. You can ask people who have experienced a massive tsunami or any natural disaster and they will tell you the worst part is actually the aftermath; dealing with the dramatic shift, and in my case the psychological changes. How does one go on after something like that? What next? It’s not like one can go back to how things used to be and forget it ever happened; the experience echoes in your bones. It’s futile and insane to rebuild the old and familiar in your psyche and to encourage former hopes and beliefs. Especially because it often is what beckoned and fuelled the tsunami to begin with. When you get to the root, you must start completely new so as not to recreate the past. ​Ha! Easier said than done! So, these blogs are also an invitation and challenge to detect what is confusion and what is fact. To have people ask themselves: Are my beliefs thinking for me? It becomes more apparent and easier to pinpoint and reduce one's conditioned thinking when one finishes the whole series in order. Then, one can see their own results on how they scored with detecting and exploring their own cognitive biases.​ Best of luck. ​Enjoy and please let me know what you think :-)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s