Jessica Schab

Bali Blog Series

Melburrrne Australia June 2012

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When Losita and I arrived in Melbourne, we immediately felt the cold. Wow was it ever cold. It was said to be the coldest there in 30 years. We felt lucky, after being in countries so close to the equator that are ridiculously, unreasonably hot. I know losita was sick of the heat in her country, so the cold to her was a welcome change. But even this was a little too much and I was not really prepared. I mostly packed for tropical weather. However i was glad I decided to pack and lug around some thermal clothes through all those tropical countries.
It was surreal to be back in Australia. After all, this was where it all started for me. This was where I went to the Nexus conference and where I met Project Camelot. Now after all these years I was finally returning.
 I was glad we only booked four days in that icebox of a city. Things were still up in the air for Sydney. I suggested we might as well skip it and go straight on to Gold Coast Queensland and she agreed. We planned to arrive July 3rd.
How did Melburrrn come about, you ask? When Losita invited me to southeast Asia, I told her about some friends’ requests for me to come to Australia as well. So I said do you think we can fit that into our schedule? She said sure, we can focus on the major cities. The original plan was to do Perth, Adeliade, Tazmania, Melbourne Sydney, New Zealand and Gold Coast. If we have time, we will try to get up to Uluru (Ayers Rock). Perth was the first one we canceled. Then Tazmania. Then new Zealand. Then Adeliade. Then as you know Sydney.
We were pretty much traveling by the seat of our pants. We had little money, but we knew the universe would help us. We decided to try all those places and put the word out if someone felt inspired to bring us out to their country and city and willing for us to stay with them or help us find some reasonable accommodations and able to help us set up a workshop out there then we would do it. It was very last minute. We had no clear idea on how we were going to go about this. Sometimes we only knew a month in advance to a couple weeks even couple of days. We were both really spontaneous trying to feel out where spirit was leading us. When I informed my network that I was thinking of going to ulurs rock, many wrote back to me saying it’s a very unsafe place at this time and its best to avoid it. Even people who live there were discouraging me from coming out there. I decided to listen to them and take ulurs rock off the schedule. The main approach for me when I come out to a country is to try to go to as many of the places nearby as possible, but you can not force it. If you’re meant to be somewhere, it will just work. It will keep coming up. Strange forces pull and call you and when they do, you don’t have to do anything. Just surrender. That’s how things just work and fall into place. It was Losita’s contacts that had arranged the place for us to stay while in melburrrn. it was a nice Indian family. They were most accommodating. Losita and I shared a bedroom that was most of the time cold. I wore all my thermal clothes and some extra sweaters lent to us and wrapped myself in the covers from our bed. I hopped around the house like a warm, cozy, fat caterpillar sipping cocoa or ginger tea.
Funny sleep habits
It was in Melburrn that Losita and I first shared a bed. Our first night, she asked me to lead her on a guided meditation to BC Canada where I lived most of my life.  To take her to the mountains. After about 15 minutes of guiding her I started to feel very sleepy. I told her how her feet were disappearing. Then I yawned and said, ok sweetie I am sure you can get yourself back. I’m falling asleep so I’m going to sleep now, but losita was like wait jess I’m stuck help me get back. My next response to her was a snore. I fell asleep just like that. That’s the thing about me. I can fall asleep like Grandpa Simpson. It does not matter where I am or what I am doing, I can sleep anywhere anytime and through anything. I am also known to fall asleep while I am talking to someone. I can be in the middle of a deep conversation right when its getting exciting and they are waiting for the climax of the story and ZZZZZ. The next morning I woke up all rested refreshed and cozy and I turned over to losita to ask her how she slept? She said well not very good. First you left me in the astral realm with half my body disappeared and no way to get back, then you started to snore and talk in your sleep. Sometimes you talk in English and other times its some strange language. Then you took all the covers even a tiny little scarf I had on my side. Then you built some sort of a fort with all the pillows and covers then you farted then at some point you ended up with your head at the end of the bed and your smelly feat in my face. I had no idea but could not help but laugh. It would later be something we would share what it was like to share a bed with me in our workshops.
Not a dime a dozen
Losita arranged the place where we held our. A friend of hers offered her home. This friend was also a spiritual healer who had done many workshops before and was pretty successful at it. She let us use her place to do personal one-on-one consultations and sometimes we would stay late into the night talking with her.
The Melbourne workshop had a decent turnout but it was a lot more complex. All kinds of fears were coming out of the people there. It was not like Singapore. People were sharing on another level. Again we went over time on both days. When you get people comfortable enough to share their complexities, wow do they ever share. Not to mention the way it tied in and affected the others that were attending. It is always fascinating to see how by sharing people bring much clarity to each other. People said the advertisement made it seem like a dime a dozen spiritual workshop. It was anything but. People who know me should have known better. What I do is not in anyway cliche.
Thank you everyone who attended this workshop. What a fun adventure it was, plus all the laughs! Thanks to losita busting me publicly about my sleeping habits. We all got really close and shared so much. Some people i managed to bring with me to do bikram yoga for the first time. After the workshops, I was asked to do some one-on-one consultation. I had a day to explore the town with the team. Apparently, i visited almost everyone in their sleep. After the first day of the workshop, it was either in their dreams or in my astral body. I was talking to them all individually. I just love the nonlinear element of dreams that allows me to really multi-task and get so much done in just a few minutes. To think that night I told myself, ok jess tonight no visiting anyone. Just focus on rejuvenating yourself for your workshop. And then everyone told me about me visiting them. I guess when one has been doing this for so long its hard to just turn it off and focus on just myself.
Meeting Afropuff
This workshop was where I met Afropuff Eo. For those who have not seen my videos with him, let me tell you a bit about Afropuff. He is about 20. he found me when he was 15 and has followed me all this time, eagerly reading everything I write and sending me novels of emails and skype messages. He was just non stop with his questions so I had to cut him off for a bit but he did not take it personal. He seemed to understand that he was taking too much of my time and energy and so we just stayed in touch here and there. Then he saw that I was going to be in Melbourne and we could finally meet in person. He was a bit nervous but he had no reason to be we hit it off right away. He is like my little afro brother from another mother. He is one of those people that you meet who immediately gets you, never judges and always just encourages you to be you. He is one of those people that you know will always be your friend no matter what. People like that are so rare in life, when so many people are like ships passing in the night, here today and gone tomorrow. So I am overjoyed to reunite and have Afropuff in my life. He is a real gem, a sensitive with synthesis abilities where he can taste and see sound and the colors of the sound. We made a video about this. He makes some incredible music too. I wish he was not so shy with his voice as the world needs to experience his melodies.
Afropuff and his friend jenna came with me to do bikram yoga. They did pretty good for this extremely challenging yoga. I spent one day with them. Afropuff and I did not want to part so he made plans to come with me to Queensland as well to attend my other workshop. I knew he did not have money so I asked my host in Queensland if he can stay at their place for free as well, and of course the work shop would be free for him to. I said he could be the camera man for us. I joked and called him our groupie. In truth we just wanted to have more time together as four days was not enough even though in person he is very quiet and I did most of the talking so I like to say that his hands are the loudest part of him but just have his silent presence near me is a present in itself.
Our time in Melbourne came to an end very fast and all I can do now is say thanks for the wonderful people and experiences. It’s time to move onto Mt. Warning near the Gold Coast. i will be in this area till July 21st. I hope it’s warmer there. In total we spent about 5 days in Melburrn and that was more then enough for me.
Talking Bali
In one of the chats with our Melbourne host we talked about Bali (I was still on the fence on whether we should go). Her eyes just lit up. She said that place is just wonderful. I did a workshop there and I would definitely love to go back there again. We offered for her to come out there when we were planning to do our workshop. Perhaps we could do something together? but then maybe two days would not be enough for all of us to share our stuff. Already we were finding that two days was indeed not enough. We always ran out of time and went into overtime; so we were toying with the idea to do a week-long retreat in Bali. Something we never did before. (That reminds me of something else we were doing differently. We invited others to join us in other countries. People who had already done the workshop with us and we felt would be good to share their own insights. I liked the idea of turning our students into teachers. Putting the spot light on them and out of their comfort zone. They all say, oh I just want to be free like you. But when we suggested for them to come and try it for themselves, immediately many excuses and reasons why they cannot do it came up. Oh no we are lucky and brave and they were not. Interesting that they would still think like that and cling to their prisons even after the workshop. it took a bit of coaching and then they were finally wise enough to see their own patterns to be able to do this trip with us.)
So it was that way when bringing up Bali and all the other places we were thinking about going. That perhaps we should cancel Bali, but our host was giving it such glowing reviews and we were intrigued. We were concerned that Bali would be tricky. We did not know anyone there to host us, or how to set up a workshop there. Or anything about Indonesia and what its like to do something like that there. Losita was not sure she could be away from her family that long. Money was also tight for her, and we were not really making any money with our workshops. We did not charge much for them. I was adamant about that and she agreed. What ever we made we split three ways, with each other and whoever was hosting or helping to promote us. We made enough to break even and cover our flights and basic expenses.
It was suggested that I should set the workshop up on my own in Bali. After all, I watched losita do it a couple of times now. Surely I could do the same, in a foreign country where English was not the first language. On my own. I would be in bali two months to set everything up and then Losita would come. Piece of cake, right? I admit its not my strong suit, but I was up for the challenge. Though I know how much of a dreamer I am, so I started to make the arrangements right away asking our host who she knew out there.
When I wrote them I felt like the prices were too high. It smelled artificial or too fake. I also had to find accommodations for everyone. This was not going to be easy at all but i had to do it everyone was counting on me. I will figure it out when the time comes i guess. With that we packed up and heading off to the second leg of our Australian tour Queensland Gold Coast.

Author: Jessica Schab

Memoirs of a Former Mystic - Blogs I've written many blogs but the series about my time in Bali, Indonesia, when my radical changes took place, is what has garnered the most curiosity and acclaim. In it, I share everything about that process from beginning to end and in great detail, so that others can get to know me and better understand what I am about. My Bali Blog series is an exploration of my own personal confusion towards rational thinking that has helped myself and others to see our own cognitive dissonance. It exposes the many things that we hide from ourselves and why. ​I highly suggest to read the blogs in order, from part 1 to 5. Otherwise, it will be hard to understand the content. I myself am shocked to realize that I had no idea how conditioned and problematic my spiritual beliefs were until I wrote these blogs; how they affected every aspect of my life and created so many unnecessary problems, making me so afraid to even dare to think or imagine my life and who I was without them. I can see now the contradictions I had to want to understand, watching these elements fight within me, planting mine fields of self-destruction in my mind when I forced myself to think without spiritual beliefs that acted like a drug for me, often times taking over my mind and thinking for me. How could I get myself to stop protecting these beliefs? Such a question led me to understand why others are so keen to choose irrationality instead of logic when it comes to their ideologies. It's one of the many reasons that led to me speaking up about why I am so concerned about this movement and the dangers of these beliefs. I would describe my changes as a massive tidal wave; a tsunami sweeping me and everything I was familiar with away. I honestly do not think I would have made it had I not learned how to surf my psyche. You would think the tidal wave would be the worst of it, right? So did I. I can say it’s not the case. You can ask people who have experienced a massive tsunami or any natural disaster and they will tell you the worst part is actually the aftermath; dealing with the dramatic shift, and in my case the psychological changes. How does one go on after something like that? What next? It’s not like one can go back to how things used to be and forget it ever happened; the experience echoes in your bones. It’s futile and insane to rebuild the old and familiar in your psyche and to encourage former hopes and beliefs. Especially because it often is what beckoned and fuelled the tsunami to begin with. When you get to the root, you must start completely new so as not to recreate the past. ​Ha! Easier said than done! So, these blogs are also an invitation and challenge to detect what is confusion and what is fact. To have people ask themselves: Are my beliefs thinking for me? It becomes more apparent and easier to pinpoint and reduce one's conditioned thinking when one finishes the whole series in order. Then, one can see their own results on how they scored with detecting and exploring their own cognitive biases.​ Best of luck. ​Enjoy and please let me know what you think :-)

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