Jessica Schab

Bali Blog Series

Thailand May-June 2012

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Chapter 1 Meeting Jessica Shackleton

The Thailand airport was huge and luxurious nothing like the airport in Manila, Thailand was out to be big and flashy to impress the tourists. Wealth was displayed everywhere. And I just passed it all by, as I was trying to figure out this huge place, how am I going find Jess? When this airport did not have public internet unless I paid for it which I was not able to do. I wondered around for a bit like a lost dog until my intuition kicked in and I was led to her. It’s always an odd, surreal, nerve wracking thing, meeting someone for the first time, especially if you have known each other for many years but never met; as there is always, our idea of the person, and who they really are. Jessica Shackleton and I had been in communication for about 5 years. She found me through my website and my poems. She had not really seen any of my videos or interview like how most people find me.  She even made one of my poems into a song, and did the art visuals, and posted it on youtube, yep that got my attention here is the link to that video in case anyone is interested.

She recognized my spirit in my poems, which is one of the reasons I made them to share my spirit with the world as an inquiring does anyone else feel and think the same? I had no idea at the time how hard she had worked to get my attention and to stand out. I learned that she had made a facebook page just for me so we could connect more; even though she really did not like the Internet at all. As she kept referring to is a mentally challenged postman. I had no idea that she had made such an effort. Talking and dreaming with this genetic constellation sis-star meet up was very surreal. We had always wanted to meet in person always saying someday then suddenly that someday is today. She invited me many times to South Africa where she was from, but it was not so easy to convince my mom to let me go to Africa & meet this girl I never met, but it did not matter. I always get reminded of how naive and crazy these fly by seat impulses of mine are but how can others understand the logic of the wayward spirit?  So Jess being well aware of this, decided that she would meet me in person somewhere else in another country and since she knew I was out traveling she saw her opportunity. She worked really hard to help me feel comfortable with her but it was unnecessary I know my soul family really well sometimes better then them on first meetings but formalities are an annoying. Jess was also quite shy and timid, very nervous & often worried about little things, with herself that I may not like, which is absolutely silly to me. Come on Jess go beyond that if you know me, show me, and let go of that insecurity but such is not so easy when something is in the way; and what is that? We will get to that later.

In some ways Jess is some kind of twin of mine perhaps from the same soul stream alignment like ley lines but with soul light stars connecting the dot power centers weaving and drawing out patterns in the either. Or perhaps my soul could not make up its mind on where it wanted to incarnate Canada or Africa so it may have split itself up into 2. As we had so many similarities & parallels starting with our names, to age, to height, to the way we think and comprehend, to similar bodies, and body markings. I once tried to make a list but I do not know where it is now. One of the things I love doing is making others laugh and jess was so fun to make laugh once you enter a persons universe, and learn their language of humor its very fun to explore.  Slowly Jess came out of her shell more, she to was cautious. Perhaps I was not how she imagined I would be in person. I mean she had little experience with actual human friends, most of her friends growing up where spirits, animals or even the elements. And Africa is tough so naturally it would make any one tough and wild and that’s a good way to describe Jess. She is also an extremely talented artist, in drawing painting, sculpting, bronze casting and my favorite her poetry. That’s how she caught my attention because of how she wrote how she lived and captured the spirit of Africa gallivanting around the continent on horse back how romantic. Ok getting back to her poetry, it is very layered and multi dimensional like mine but has a flare and style even a life all its own. She is also the granddaughter of the famous Shackleton that explored the Antarctic.

Chapter 2 The Shabby Shack Shamanista Show

Mean while back in present time in that time by the time I arrived Jess had already spent 2 weeks in Thailand waiting for me by explore the country and cleaning up all the garbage strewn around the land. This is something sad about Asia that its so lovely, yet people are really careless with their trash there and throw it everywhere.  This is not something poor Jess was used to seeing and it made her heart sink, she said Africa is more pristine, it may be poor but there is no garbage thrown around so thoughtlessly. So when she collected me at the airport she knew exactly how to get out of that labyrinth of a place and where to take me. We took a tuke tuke which is like a golf cart but with a better engine and lots of Buddhist decorations into the heart of Bangkok. Oh that was one thing in comparing the Philippians with Thailand, the Philippians is mostly Christian from what I saw, to the point it was funny; because the way they displayed their faith, was like, how we display and promote our celebrities. So most of the time Jesus and Mary were decked out in some serious tacky bling and it was everywhere even on the buses; all the buses were named after the apostles. Quick which bus do you want to take hunny Mathew Luke or John? Back to Thailand it was the same deal but with Buddhism and they had a lot more trippy dream character statues mucking about everywhere especially in the airports giant lion dragon headed people and odd stories about them. I would not be surprised of those beings lived under the airport. There where also statues of Buddhas that’s looked totally human until you got to their feet only to find chicken or dragon looking feet. On our Journey in the tuke tuke me and Jess kept talking and I found it hard to pay attention to her as I was also a bit distracted by the look and feel of the new land I was in, but I did  my best, and all went well. When we got into the city she showed me her camera she got as I told her I wanted to do some filming with her, it was awesome of her to get one for us. I loved hearing her thoughts and felt it would be great to record as well. I thought up all kinds of names for our show, it first started with the Jess and jess show to Schab and Shack to the Shabby Shack Shamanista Show keep it humble yo. A real tongue twister that I highly advice you try to say 10 times as fast as you can. And that’s the story of how the first video of the Shabby Shack Show came about. I just had this idea of a mystic shamanista traveling the world; and how different it is when your traveling conscious style, the humor, and the synchronicities, was something I really wanted to capture. Let alone the interesting conversations, but most of them took place off camera as it always seems to be that way boo. Though the Country is stunning and there is a lot of interesting things to do and see in Thailand, but to me definitely the best thing there was Jessica  Shackleton. We arrived in the center of Bangkok touristy area their was so much hustle and bustle lots to see and do everyone trying to get your attention to buy this or buy that. Try this, watch that entertainment, it was hard to make our mind on what we should do first, finally we decided to try out the fish pedicure where the fish eat your dead skin mmmmmm yummy whose hungry? Oh speaking of yummy they serve deep fried bugs here, well not just deep fried bugs but also deep fried scorpions, and frogs. I decided to side shelf raw food for a bit to try and experience some of these things. I wanted to have Jess eat some bugs with me as well but she seems to be a bit nervous about it. To this i say come on Jess your from Africa hukana mutata baby.

One other interesting thing that happened on that first day in Thailand we met a doctor who was keen for vaccines and such but Jess and me quantified his little brain and showed him the truth in an undeniable way, which shocked him, but he finally recovered and now is working for the light side.

We only spent one full day in Bangkok and then we caught a train and headed for the far west towards the coast to go check out the tiger temple. We decided to train out there as it was the most affordable. On the train a local old woman taught us how to speak Thai, it just enough to get by; & not get ripped off when it came to the comparison of tourists prices and local prices. We made a little video about this language lesson.  -On that trip also i got a chance to get familiar with the toilets there which is a low bowl that you must squat and keep balance on and let me tell you its not an easy task especially when the train is rocking you back and forth.

Here are our first videos we did in Bangkok.

Jess & Jess The Shabby Shack Shamanista Show intro Thailand day 1

Jess & Jess Shabby Shack Shamanista Show Thailand Day 2

Jess & Jess Shabby Shack Shamanista Show Thailand Day 3

Chapter 3 The Tiger Temple 

On our arrival to our destination we were taken to a place to check in which was a lovely little suite on the water held up by floating rafters with water plants everywhere. When we were all settled in we wandered around the town. We had to make sure we were calm around the dogs as they where quiet wild. We lived off of mostly smoothie’s, fresh fruit and veggie platters, we tried to eat raw the best we could but this was not always easy to live off of, as unfortunately they spray their food a lot here to in Thailand. Jess cared a lot about my health and wanted me to only eat healthy even if I wanted to try other foods, as I have never really been a strict health not I love to live a little and really explore new foods. She also insisted I take her tinctures and remedies to make sure I did not get sick while traveling. Always when people meet me they are so protective of me and see it as their personal duty to take care of watch out for me my ex did the same but its mostly the physical but what about the other facets of a person?

The next day we went off to the Tiger Temple because it was something that my friends suggest I do while in Thailand. On our drive there we got lost and it was hard to get directions from the locals who do not speak English. One person we asked said just a second and they called a friend and handed the phone to us but they also did not speak English so it made no sense, why that person, had chosen to do that. After much trial and error and on a scorching hot day we found the tiger temple. On arrival we had learned that our outfits where not appropriate, our shoulders must be covered, as well as our knees, and oh forget about showing your tummy or even one boob. All that skin was considered disrespectful to the monks or maybe it would make them uncomfortable since they made their commitment vow to Buddha. But I simply did not understand I mean the monks outfit was totally revealing the robe went around one shoulder, showed one boob, and they were allow to reveal their stomach and their knees. Now what if these monks’ outfits made me uncomfortable? As it can be considered sexy to us girls to now, oh I love how your fat hangs out of that attire and the way you sport that one man boob also known as moobs. It was not fair it was hot and they got to wear that yet we had to practically wear a burka when we were around them. So me and jess where told we would not be able to get into the park if we did not wear a giant circus tent like t shirt. One size fits all, ya I do not think so, we were practically swimming in these shirts I mean how fat were the tourists that were coming here anyway? Anyway we put them on and I tried to make alterations but alas it was not aloud though we did make a video in our altered circus shirts, which will provide the link at the end of the chapter. Now cause we arrived a smidgen too early so we decided to explore the other side of the park. There where some cages of some exotic birds that where very sad. One bird in particular could talk but it was potty talk, I mean it had the beak of a sailor does he kiss his mother with that beak I wondered. Though I have to admit it got my attention when I heard it say F%#@ you. This bird could speak more English then the locals it was able to repeat anything it heard. Me and Jess where so impressed and taken aback that Jess started to do this cool whistle thing with her mouth and hands which I did learn it took me a couple of days though. Anyway when she made this whistle the bird responded by tweeting right back and fluttering her wings as if they were all in ecstasy from the sound and vibe. We did it many times and still they responded in that way. In fact all the birds they had in the cage they’re responded in a similar way when nature woman Jessica whistled. It was incredible to witness. Then she said I want to set all you free and one day I will. Jess is very much a bird lover and for me every time I meet someone I always look to see what the dominant animal energy is and say oh this person looks like this animal and jess looks like her love which is a bird, that’s why I sometimes I call her jbird. Which is usually the case. Races of people also have certain animal clan influence energy like for example being in Asia many of them looked and had frog or fish energy and sometimes even their face resembled those animals.

Alright back to Jessica not me Shackleton I only sometimes refer to myself as a third person just so as not to confuse you. She started reciting poetry of her and their pain/sorrow. She said when we cage animals we are caging pieces of our heart and encouraging the prison walls of the invisible to close in around us. We made a video about this to cause she was right. It was a sobering mirror of a truth that needed to be said. We where so wrapped up with the animals even a sick momma goat that was walking around in pain because she had swollen udders that no one bothered to milk so her nipples dragged on the scorching hot pavement. We where upset and shocked to see such unconsciousness in of all places a Buddhist area. Its hard to respect a faith that was not walking its talk or was making exceptions and separations. As we continued into the park exploring our way on our own not wanting to be apart of the tour or tourist garble. We found ourselves in some elaborate temple that had a sign to take off your shoes. Ok we did that then it said no girls on the platform. Oh my goodness really? More sexism well we were not too impressed, and the indigo in us wanted to step on that precious chunk of wood anyway but their were cameras and we where in a foreign country you have to be careful something that may not seem like a big deal could be call for you to being arrested. So needless to say we were very turned off from the temple and anything Buddhist in this place we left the temple area and found a bunch of farm animals just outside and almost all of them had their backs turned to us until Jess did her magic whistle sound again and like something of an Anastasia or fairytale maybe even jungle book all the animals turned around and came right to us. Where before they where totally ignoring us no matter what noise I made or energy I sent. I wish I got this on tape as it would have been amazing truly something to see to believe.

After watching Jessica’s amazing connection with all things wild and free like her we heading towards the tigers. It was now tiger time. We found ourselves herded along in a line like sheeple with other tourists a huge amount of them. I had no idea there was so many, and how successful we had been in avoiding them all this time, but if we wanted to see the tigers we had to follow the Pied Piper.  We were led to this artificial like cave where their was lots of obnoxious yelling from some Australian tour guide, but the tigers were all near by laying down surly this noise bothered them or where they used to it? So tranquilized 24/7 broken hearted being chained to a tree. But it was more then that as we felt the energy of the area we felt the truth the tigers had all indeed been drugged. That’s how people where able to come close to them to poke them, and annoy them, touch the tigers when ever they wanted, not when the tiger said it was ok, which is never. Then we realized another awful thing the tigers could not attack or lash out cause the tendons for their claws to retract had been cut and I suspect something was done with the tendons of their jaws to so they could not so easily bite down. As we where getting swept away in the crowds being ordered and given our turn to touch the tigers not being able to take the picture but other volunteers doing it. We were ushered to a place where we could get more pictures with sleeping tigers all to show off to our friends that we were with tigers, but at the expense of the tiger’s spirit and sanity.  All of this energy and treatment was so shocking it was making Jess sick and she decided to turn back and I followed her. I watched her move as fast as possible from that energy and then she ducked away by a tree she put her hands on the ground brought her forehead to the ground and began to weep at all animals being mistreated here. It was hard for her to understand and it made her angry. I to was upset but not angry just sad. What could we do to help? It’s the feeling of uselessness , helplessness, not being able to do anything, I know this feeling all to well an do not like it, that was hard for both us. We did not like the way the tigers where chained and it seemed like such a gong show with the tourists advertisement saying such crap as oh impress your friends get a picture of you with a tiger. We ended up giving some healing energy to the place and left to make our own fun tour.

Chapter 4 Making Our Own Fun

On our drive back we were feeling the heat in an intense way I wanted more then anything to swim when we passed a bridge I said hey lets swim in there. She was hesitant though cause she was unsure if there where crocodiles in their or not, as we found that many restaurants had crocodile on the menu. Jess was a bit like a concerned mother for me always looking out for potential danger and I guess you would need to be that way what with being raised in South Africa and all. I am a carefree one I just do not fear or spend too much energy of possible danger I’m used to saying its all good. Maybe I intuitively know my timeline that’s why I am like that, but then there is that other part of me that loves flirting with danger and feeling compelled to kiss the flame. This river we bathed in was so beautiful and refreshing it made me giddy and helped me with my idea of cheering jess up, as we frolicked in the river bed. I heard elephants crying somewhere in the background and I made my own unique elephant sounds which made her laugh, then I proceeded to act like a male tiger who was spraying on everyone at the tiger temple, as I am sure the tigers would just love to do that and think about it often I know I would if I were a tiger there. Then I started dancing and singing Buddhism has gone Hollywood in a silly way. I swam in that water with my clothes on then after I was thoroughly soaked I decided oh ya I have a swim suite on underneath perhaps I was a bit hesitant to delayer cause we filmed this whole thing. Shabbyshack episode 4 I think. I was concerned about being sexy for my audience, I mean I have been purposely for years dressing down on camera I just did not want people to miss the message I did not want looks to distract them or anything. But for all my efforts I still got comments and attention for that even though when people meet me in person they say wow you lost weight since that project Camelot interview, but don’t worry you were still cute. Ok, I have always weighed the same my entire life, its not changed once that scale 130lbs yes I share my weight so what? What’s the big deal I do not care a lick about such.  I guess that camera and angle just added pounds on me in that interview I do not know anyway,  no wonder in some of my emails I got said things that puzzled me like even though you a chunky girl I still love you. Jess, kind encouraged me not to care about being to sexy on camera since I get this attention anyway and the shift is so near why not use everything you got to get peoples attention? Besides you always say you do not want to hide from your audience to show them the real you, to keep it raw, and authentic well this is you. Also I had been hiding a lot since my last relationship to so I might as well live a little and just enjoy it while I’m young right? We then covered our faces in mud thinking it would be a good idea something of a natural sun block for the ride back home, also I thought it would be funny since we always get checked out on the bike if on closer look it would appear that we had a beard and a mustache even some crazy side burns, I wonder how long it would take for people to realize it was made of mud, to make us look like tough and serious biker dudes. In theory it was a good idea but when we were cruising on the road with our bike hitting high speeds the mud starting to fly off like grains of sand right into our eyes and mouth. So we had to stop off and clean all the mud from our faces.  It was an elephant tourist park we stopped at to get cleaned up and some tourists asked wow what happened to us? I am sure we looked quit the site in our wet clothes to. I grinned and said we made our own fun tour.

Jess & Jess Shabby Shack Shamanista Show Thailand Day 4

Jess & Jess The Shabby Shack Shamanista Show Thailand Day 5

Chapter 5 Throwing Off The Saddle

In the evening of that day we went cruising on the motorbike checking out the elaborate gold painted Buddha structures. We were in a goofy mood, well I was, as I love to make people laugh and jess was my target so I started singing silly opera songs about these statues and monuments as it baffled me, the amount of Buddha’s on one building. I mean really, why do they need so many Buddha’s why? I mean has no one asked this question? Why can’t one Buddha be enough? Buddhists talk about oneness and one of everything but no one seems to wonder about this 101 Buddha’s syndrome. Anyway we ended up wandering a bit too far because of our silliness and thus ended up getting lost. We wandered around for a while trying to find someone who spoke English that could help us, until finally a guy knew where we were trying to get to and so we followed him back by our motorbikes. We thanked him and went on our way, we sat down at a restaurant and then that’s when I noticed that something was missing from my purse. It was my iPhone, which was my first and last phone. I had it out because I was taking pictures or video with it, I had it on my lap on the bike and I remember when Jess hit a speed bump something flew off and made a sound but it did not dawn on me that it was my iPhone, and I recalled we hit that speed bump in the area were we where lost; but I was hoping I was wrong so I started retracing my steps. Walking so fast and intensely with one of my hands waving in the air, cause my hands are my antennae’s, and it’s one of the ways I like to remote view, scanning the area as far out as I could, to see if I could gauge, where oh where my phone was. I kept walking and walking in the direction we went where we got lost, this proved to be very tricky as I knew It was very far away and I thought how odd I would have to get lost again in the exact same place we were lost in order to find my lost phone, and then find my way back again. I guess the universe really did not want me to get that phone back it was also starting to get really dark outside, and my Iphone had a black cover so it would be very hard to see. There was the possibility that it could have got ran over by a car or found on the road and stolen. It would not be so bad losing an iphone in a country like Thailand, in a rural town, with all your personal info on there; as first off they do not speak English, and second they would most likely wipe it and sell it. Such a find like that could feed a family for a year. That calmed me down thinking of a poor person finding it. Jess being someone who has never been keen on machines could not understand my earnest and frantic search for this silly phone. I was starting to get lots of anxiety as the reality set in I was never going to see my iphone again, wow in such a short amount of time I was sure addicted to this electronic gizmo. Its gone, and I had to let it go, finding it was not meant to be. Even though I knew this, it did not stop me from astral traveling the streets trying to find it. I guess I was worried to tell my ex Goose. I was worried  as I know how he would chastise me I knew what he would say something like I am so irresponsible. Even though we where not together we still spoke here and there as we still had some cords between us.  I am not one to keep secrets its very hard for me. I knew I would tell him, and I knew when I did it would not be pretty. so this anxiety I felt was the anxiety I would feel in the future that I was feeling now. These attachment cords were pretty annoying and frustrating. Why were they still there? What else do I need to do in order to get totally free from this guy? Here I am half way across the world and still connected and affected by him. Damn I wish I did not know and feel these things prior and I wish I could hold information and keep a secret better. But there is always this part of me that must share everything that must confess it all to the world. I don’t know. It was also hard cause Jess did not understand she did not like Goose so I could not talk to her about him, like I hoped, to be able to do with a good friend; talk about anything right? I mean I let everyone talk to me about anything, can I not have the same thing from others? Ok it was clear, Jess did not like Goose, but she did not like any guys really for that matter, again she is used to nature, to talk to and be her friend. So I was on my own with this situation. Its also strange that I lived so much of my life with out a phone and never cared for one it was like in that time, I was a free wild horse and then when I got into the relationship it was suggested I get a phone I resisted it for awhile, then I was like ok just a basic simple cheap one; I just want a phone not a Swiss army multi purpose phone that’s too fancy pants sophisticated for me.  He told he why not get an iphone? Its the best thing to get, so I gave in, I tried it out and thus suddenly felt like a saddled horse. Losing the iphone, however, made me realize I was really caught up in that thing, giving it my identity my life, but it was not me; and this thing that I was attached to was giving me merit to be sad. I lost all my information pictures and all the videos I did in the Philippians as well. No, I do not think so. I had to adopt a new mentality on this experience. I am an unsaddled horse now a horse does not need nor miss their saddle when its gone, they say good riddance and gallivant off into the sunset. I do not need it, I only think I need it, because it makes life easier, and everyone has one. Before having a phone I relied on telepathy to keep my mystic muscles nice and strong with the phone those muscles became weak. ok then, its back to psychic gym pronto.

Chapter 6 When Life Gets Tough.. Phuket

I gave my peace to the area and my iphone and laid it to rest in the cemetery of my mind. Then i turned my attention back to Jess and our day off whom speaking of exercise she was practicing her chi gong and gung fu iron body on a floating raft lodge. It looked so cool that I decided to film it as I felt others would benefit from watching this and also get to know her personality a bit more, as I knew many where curious about her. The more different dimensions, that I could capture the better.  I also decided to teach Jess some Bikram yoga postures and that to was filmed and put into the same video that I shared earlier. We also did some blind, blocking, scraping ,play fighting, which did not get recorded. After that we went to bed early, due to the fact that we had to be up at 4am in order to fly down to Phuket. Which happened to be a raw food healing retreat. It came about randomly when I posted on facebook about where I was and my recent adventures. I also share there in hopes that someone who is in that area may see it and want to meet up; it’s a great way to connect with my network in this way. A girl named Melody saw my post, she was living in Thailand but was originally from the states, she created this retreat and invited me to come and check it out, but since we arrived a bit early then expected, we decided to have our taxi take us to a beach to chill for a day. It rained most of the time but lovely warm rain. This beach was a dog heaven for wild dogs they where fat and just relaxing on the beach. We enjoyed amazing fruit smoothies and an unexpected encounter with a gorf (frog spelled backwards) who was chilling on our toilet seat. It ended up jumping on the mirror then on my head I think we filmed it. The next day we where picked up and brought to this wonderful raw food cleanse healing retreat, where they had this amazing lunch waiting for us. Here is the link to the place in case anyone is interested. We could not eat it all cause it was rather filling. So what we did not eat, we made into little hearts on our plates for the chefs, to show we appreciated our meal, and their hard work. Then we where whisked off to a zumba class. Where we got our ass kicked. We where so tired from it especially because me and jess where jumping and running around like monkeys before class. Then we where taken to try some amazing raw food desert cheesecake, chocolate cake and mango tarts. Right after that we where taken to a sauna to sweat some more, then dip into a cold pool. After that we had some of the best food, followed by a very interesting conversation with a well known physicist that wishes to be anonymous, so i will call him Mr. E.

Later that evening I finally got to talk more with the host Melony, who invited us out there. I wanted to know, how she knew me, and why she felt compelled to invite us? She said “I was in Korea when I first came across your video a few years ago, you ruined my trip to Korea actually, because after I watched your video I had something of an existential breakdown, and could not leave my apartment. I just knew what you where saying was true and had to live my dreams to. So I did, I set up this raw food retreat but its not doing very well. We are not a busy as some of the other cleanse retreats.” It was hard to understand why that was the case as this place was truly unique and very effective. Its’ a place where people could get their body on track, even after they returned back home.

It’s been two days at the Phuket Cleanse retreat, and the food is out of this world amazing. I have some of the recipe classes recorded to share with you guys so you may try it out for yourself. Every morning we drink clay water and some spirilina drinks. The exercise regime here is intense, 8am is zumba, then chi gong, then Thai boxing and bikram yoga to top it off. I am used to only doing bikram yoga every few days and nothing else. So this is really intense, and after one day, I’m exhausted. The thai boxing class had us do over 100 sit ups in an hour, just to give you an idea of how rigorous our routine was there. So we decided to take the weekend off, but have decided to fully immerse our-self in this regime for 5 days just to see how much weight we can lose, and how much muscle we can acquire, in a short amount of time. It should be interesting, if we do not wuss out.
So today being our day off we went to the beach and saw some elephants and where appalled with how they where treated here and how miserable they where. Which ended up motivating us to do a Shabby Shack video about it. The show seemed to be steering towards animal rights. We were not tourists on vacation, we where spirits witnessing and awake to the sleeping world and all that was going on. We looked deeper and felt the pain of the land and animals, we heard the cry, and felt it our duty to do something about it, since we are public examples after all. Who was going to speak for the animals of the earth?
I have asked Jessica to stay another month with me and she is keen to the idea so we are planning where we want to go next do we want to stay in Thailand or see some other countries in Asia time will tell.

We spent the last few days doing a boat ride to some islands where we watched this ballet of huge pink jellyfish followed by some snorkeling. We sent chi from our hands so the fish would feel no caution in approaching us. We did lots of motor cycling around the island with Jess doing animal right videos and giving comfort to the captive elephants. We made a bunch more videos that are more about our messages and mystical thoughts and adventures. We are about a week behind in our uploading.

Chapter 7  Getting my Hair Cut by a Ghost

Being in such a hot country like Thailand made me want to cut my hair very short. I was a single woman now with a new life, it seemed fitting to have a new look, to be bold ,to do things I have always wanted to do but never done. I have always wanted to have super short hair. I was tired of the starseed, pleiadian, lightworker Hollywood cult off the assembly line look. Even Anastasia ringing cedars stuff I was not so interested in being like her any more. I would much rather my own identity and path. The Anastasia idea had been with me long enough & I was tired of dealing with a Vladimir, its exhausting, having to explain yourself to someone who will never get you and nor is it healthy. This time if I get with anyone, he would definitely have to be conscious, no exceptions. So there I was thinking constantly about getting my hair cut as hair is associated with memories. If you cut the hair your like a clean slate not bogged down by the past. I kept looking for potential places get my hair cut at, but jess kept discouraging me at first. I was beginning to think she did not want me to get my hair cut at all. Your perfect as you are she said. I like your long beautiful hair. But when she saw, she could not talk me out of it, she then said “well if you must get it done; I would like to be the one to do it. I am sure I can do a better job then any hairdresser anyway.” “Ok I said, have you even cut hair before?” “No she said.” “Ah I see I said.” She then replied with, “but my mother was a hairdresser, she has passed away now; but I had watched her cut hair many times, and I am sure I can do it.” I know if I start to do it then I am certain the ghost of my mother will come and help me do your hair.” She then pulled out what looked to me as children’s scissors. I wondered how long she had been waiting to tell me this rehearsing it in her head? I could see it was a big deal to her so I said “ok, you can do it, besides if it does not turn out, so what its only hair, it will always grow back.” And when she started to cut my hair there was a very strange breeze that suddenly showed up it was a perfectly calm hot day with not one breeze until now it only lasted for the time I was getting my hair done, the whole time I felt the hair stand up on my neck, which always was an indicator that a spirit was near by doing spirit things for spirit reasons. When it was done, I was very happy with the cut she and her ghost mother did a great job; they followed all my suggestions and ideas of how I had visualized my hair style in the future and it was pretty much exact. Now I know most girls would not trust an amateur to cut their hair but I simply do not care, there is always hats if need be to. My mom however is terrified of hairdressers she sees it as a conspiracy that they are all out to ruin her hair. She got infected with this idea when she was 12 years old and a neighbor put a pot on her head and cut around the pot. My mother has still not recovered to this day from that event.

Chapter 8 Jess Shackletons Sad Story

Jessica Shack’s mother on the other hand was a girly girl just the opposite of Jess. And she always wanted to dress Jess up and make her into a respectable girl, but Jess was a wild child. She was raised by the wind and wild animals; like Mogly from the Jungle Book, there was no chance of making Jess in a civilized lady. But when her mother passed away and she confided to me in how it happened from her being bit by a rabid dog. It suddenly made sense, why jess had loved all animals but was very indifferent & cautious when it came to dogs. I saw this every time we passed a pack of Thia wild dogs. Jess missed her mother, she missed the chance to enjoy being a woman with her, or she wished she could have at least tried to be a lady for her; and now that ship has sailed. So she tried to recapture that with me as I to was at that time embracing being a woman and sexy for once in my life. But jess was still hurting from how she lost her mother. She could have saved her if she was aloud to use natural medicine but her family would not let her. Instead they hired a nurse and jess watched helplessly as the nurse gave her dying mother the worst foods and pumped her full of medication so that she suffered greatly, so much physical pain. Jessica could not take it she tried to get the nurse fired or slip good food and natural medicines to her mom but the family found out and gave jess the third degree, saying what are you doing your killing your mother with your mumbo jumbo. How can you possibly think you know more then the doctors? And that was it her mother was put back on her medication and jess studied more and more about natural medicine. Trying to understand what was happening to her mom, and all the things she could have done, but was never aloud to do. Maybe she could help others who were more open to this. So she continued to study and one day her mother died in her arms. At least she was no longer in pain. Then jess told me another heart breaking story about the time she went to the US to live the American dream that she heard so much about. She also wanted to come to Canada but her passport would not permit it ,so we could not meet at that time. She was disheartened to learn that the American dream was a hoax, a total scam, that life in Africa was way better then anything the consumed consumers and government of America had to offer. Africa is wild, it was not about money, her animals did not care who you are and what career you have. She felt more comfortable with the lions, poisonous snakes, and spiders then the American society. When she returned to Africa she discovered the price she had paid to follow this phantom dream, which was, she had sold her best and only friend in order to pay for her flight ticket. Her best friend was a horse she had since she was a kid. She trained it with out any violence and abuse; but with communication, understanding, respect, love and cause of that her horse was bought by some people who put the horse in many races and shows. That horse won almost everything it entered, it was now worth a ton of money. Jess could never afford to buy it back not even if she worked her whole life. She was devastated when she had that horse, he never had to do any shows or races they were both free to run and explore the rugged terrain. I am sure the horse is confused about the sudden change of life and very much misses jess and wonders what happened? Jess told me she had not been able to bring herself to visit her horse friend when she returned. She felt it would be painful but I suggested when I come out to Africa. If we go together to see her horse then it may not be so bad and many years have passed, the horse is getting old, soon it will not be able to perform like it did before. Its value will drop, it then may be easier to buy it back and have it retire with her. Jess never thought of this and it cheered her up instantly.

Chapter 9 Quantum Jumping

The next few days we spent time getting to know the staff and the guests they all appreciated us so much, they did not want us to leave they kept trying to prolong our stay. Melonie was constantly coming up with new ideas, she never wasted anything from the kitchen rather then throwing out left overs she saved It put it all together and made skin products that me and jess got to try out. It was still edible to that’s what I trust the most when putting something on my body is if I can eat it these weird creepy chemical products creep me out and I tend to avoid them all together. Jess to, we both rarely wear make up to only for fun and some filming do we wear that stuff, we both have no beauty face skin body products at all. As for hair we just use the basics and no deodorant I just use a piece of lime or lemon. One time the staff and treated me to a free raw spa treatment where I got to further try out all of Melonies unique creations. Having 3 girls put body scrubs all over me then they put me in this weird box were only my head and hands stick out its supposed to be sauna but totally closed in but that was not all that was closed in the staff by accidentally locked me in the spa room. When jess heard this she leaped up and jumped on a palm tree and pushed her feet to the other palm tree right next to it and some how managed to climb all the way up the tree like a monkey up on the balcony to give me the key so I could get out.

I was very impressed with Melonie in all the things she was inventing she was just non stop coming up with great ideas and her story was so interesting to especially when she started to talk about Quantum Jumping which is about jumping time lines for example if in this time line your not an artist but want to be you can jump to a time line where you are a successful artists and have that self teach you and then you take it back to this time line and shift into that last time line. Melonie shared with us how she used to be very overweight and when she heard of quantum jumping she wanted to go to a time line where she was very skinny and a fitness instructor and a health teacher and well that’s exactly what happened and why she was here and then after watching my video she set up the cleanse retreat. So interesting was her story and Quantum Jumping that I decided to do a video about it with her. Then another video with Jessica in which we are wearing matching white tia silk shirts and talking about fears and after recording it and watching the video together we noticed that the background did something very strange. As it got darker outside the trees the two palm trees turned more blue until full darkness made those tree bright florescent blue. We have no idea how that happened we did not do it purposely, there was no spfx it just happened and never happened again. That video will be included at the end of this chapter.

Everyday we went driving around on the motor-bike looking for more areas to explore in Phuket we saw elephants along the way and often visited them giving them bananas and talking with them. We tried out different restaurants to though we did like the good at Phuket Cleans we were not able to keep up the diet we craved other foods such as greasy potato egg pancakes, so yes, we cheated, but we were not the only ones. One time when we stopped off to eat we saw Melony and her partner enjoying some grease action to. Ah ha caught you. But its not a big deal I mean you do not have to eat super healthy all the time sometimes you want something else they were not health nuts with themselves just for the people who came to get healthy so I admired that. They had a good attitude about it to so its not like they were closet eaters or anything. 😉

Chapter 10 the Sea Giveth & The Sea Taketh Away

On another occasion we went to the beach and did some kayaking with a group from the cleans, we talked about checking out other islands like crabby or phi phi where the movie The Beach was filmed with Leonardo Dicaprio which is the same beach that taken out by the tsunami. I was always intrigued with that story as I heard that so few animals died because they all knew 2 weeks in advance and headed to higher ground. I thought wow this shows how connected the animals are, if we could only do the same we would feel something way before and be able to help so many but we are too distracted in other things to feel the collective physic waves. Speaking of waves and on the way back we were the last to come into shore and everyone is waving to us saying look out big wave steer your kayak around but we did not do it fast enough and the wave threw me and jess out of the kayak. We were ok despite the odd seaweed and fish up our noses and some gagging and wheezing. After making sure everyone was ok I realized I did not have my sunglasses another expensive gift given to me by my ex that Thailand took for me. I recall thinking before I should take them off but I did not that’s what you get for not listening to your intuition. Jess said did you give something to the sea before you went in? I said no. she said I suggest you do next time I threw in some change if you do not do that then the sea will take something from you. Oh I see I get it the sea giveth and the sea taketh away I got that. Oh Thailand what are you doing to me your stripping me of so many things, of my past, what next?

And so the time came to leave Phuket Thailand has arrived, our last few days where spent doing bikram yoga at the kata yoga studio i did two a day. I managed to film some raw meal preparation videos for you guys to. We did as many healings as we could with the staff and guests to and as lovely as this place is i am eager to see other parts of Thailand like the north where there are small towns and jungle. We stayed at Phuket Cleanse for over 2 weeks we were only supposed to stay a few days because when we arrived the guests and staff liked me and jess so much they asked us to stay longer for free as there is no way we could have afforded the fee to stay there which is like $200 a day. They wanted us to help with activities and do healings and we did all that. Now we were eager to go. Most likely somewhere near the Border or Burma. We still are behind on our videos there is still loads to put up and we are always making more.

Jess & Jess Shabby Shack Shamanista Show Thailand Day 6

Jess & Jess Shabby Shack Shamanista Show Thailand Day 7 ..PHUKET CLEANSE

Jess & Jess The Shabby Shack Shamanista Show Thailand Day 8

Jess & Jess Shamanista Soul Archeology Mastering Yourself, Fears & Other Realms

Jess & Jess Shabby Shack Shamanista Raw Masamam Curry Dish Prep

Shabby Shack Shamanista Show:  When Life Gets Tough…  Phuket! Thailand

Shabby Shack Shamanista Show in Quantum jumping with Melanie

Shabby Shack Quantum Jumping Meditation Journey

The Shabby Shack Show: Why Your Manifesting the Exact Opposite of What You Want

Q & A with Jessica Shackleton

Chapter 11 Chang Mai Bungee Jumping &The Elephant Rescue Park

The first thing we did when we arrived in Chang Mai was bungee jumping tandem style we did a video of it surprising jess was more scared and hesitant then me but I finally told them to just push her off with me and they did. I had the chance to go bungee jumping once before but passed it up when my mother and my brother both surprised me and said they wanted to do it I only had enough for 2 so I let them go instead of me knowing full well I would get another chance to do it my family maybe not. Also I really wished I wore a different shirt and bra I did not think about it at all that it would stand out that much but it did good thing the girls stayed in. Tandem seemed scary we were not tied together we had to hold onto each other and we were worried that we would slip apart when we fell and then crash into each other doink. But everything was fine we did not bounce into the water and it was a great exhilarating experience though my toes seem to curl at just the thought of such an experience they have not forgotten and they remind me every time I think about it. – The Shabby Shack Goes Bungee Jumping –

Later on that night we roamed the street feeding and filming hungry rats and cockroaches and making our own fun and adventures, as that was more interesting then going out to the bars with people to party with and watch them be stupid as old men were escorted to be with young Thai women. We were also not all interested in seeing any lady boys either.  -The Shabby Shack Shamanista Show in My Oh My Chiang Mai Thailand –

The other thing we did in Chang Mai was to check out the Elephant rescue place up in north Thailand. Finally we got to see some happy elephants though some, where very old and decrepit yet they where so lovely and sweet. We where so happy to see so many people awakened and being the change they wish to see in the world. Lek the lady who is behind it all is a real warrioress shamanista, we were privileged to meet her. We also learned about the back-story of working elephants and let me tell you its heart breaking. The problem is huge but so many are attacking this problem in various creative loving ways that its most inspirational. If you to want to help just come and spend a day here its not that expensive and very worth it you get to feed and play and bath the elephants there is a day program or you can stay for week and gain perma-culture skills as well. I definitely would like to take my mom and brother here to experience this.

The Shabby Shack at the Elephant Rescue Park Chiang Mai Thailand –

Chapter 12 Mmm Pai

After Chang Mai Jessica and I headed off to Pai it was the most quiet and peaceful part of Thailand we had experienced so far.  I do recommend it to others as it does seem to have some consciousness happening here, your most likely to meet people who are on the same wave length as you. There is plenty of raw food, wheat grass, and vegan options to, not to mention spiritual workshops going on, that I of course did not attend, as they are mostly boring to me. It is a very hippy laid back kind of area. There are lots of divine dream cosmic cast-away characters here as well (try saying that ten times fast). There is tons of natural green beauty and wild life and lots of tasty food to enjoy. Not to mention one giant spider in my bathroom named grandmother, we made a video about this.  Oh there is also fire-dancers jess is a fire dancer as well, and open mic night at the lounges. We did some light-work healing and riding for an elephant during our stay in Pai with some people that where a bit more gentle with the elephants, well at least we could talk him into not poking and hurting the elephants. We also did some singing in caves and visited the long neck tribe no need to type about as we did a video about all this, which would be redundant.This blog is about the behind the scenes of my life and we made videos all about it see at the end of this blog.

I had heard that Thailand had a huge prostitution sting going on out there but honestly were me and jess were or cause of our vibe we never really saw much of it. we did meet the odd men married to young Thai woman we learned that the woman are ok with this as they have such pressure from their family to marry in this way its actually a high honor to them which is pretty sick and demented. I do not know how you can marry someone that does  not speak your language as marriage/ relationship is about communication but maybe I’m too old fashioned?

The mafia out in Thailand is intense. its a kind of creepy vibe, even the fact that the picture of the king is everywhere as if to say see the king is normal he is just like you as he is displayed doing typical things from gardening to hunting to kissing babies. Pictures of the king is in every one of of the shops in Thailand they say everyone loves him but i think they have to love him they have no choice cause this love is actually fear due to if you say one bad thing about him and some one here you go to jail instantly no questions or court. That fact alone really made me uncomfortable in Thailand it felt fascist here. And the have their hand in everything and tourists vans are like sitting ducks out their if you travel in one your practically asking to be robbed so i suggest you avoid them. As it says i am from out of town i have no clue and i have money. What tends to happen when tourists travel in this way is they first close all the window and turn on the air conditioning but in the air conditioning is a gas that makes everyone go to sleep except the driver he wears a mask or does not have the gas blasted on him. When everyone is asleep the van pulls over and everyone gets robbed when the tourists wake up they have no idea what happened until they are off the bus and realize they have empty wallets and purses even their passports are gone. So was very cautious when we boarded any tourist transit as most of the time they would shut all our windows. i would keep opening mine and they would keep closing it. i said i get car sick easy and if you do not let me keep this window open i will be very sick and puke all over your vehicle. Of course they did not understand what i was saying so body language and my best sounds of imitation of a person puking their guts out got the message across. The window stayed open and no sleeping gas was vented on us.

Chapter 13 Broken Hearted

When we arrived in Pi I was struggling as even though I was happy to have jessica with me, I felt like I needed to take a break and I just had to have some space and time to myself. I get very annoyed if too much time goes by with out having time to myself to write & make videos or reflect in however I feel I need to. Especially if I feel a bit suffocated by people, which tends to happen, as some people want to spend every moment with me. Jessica was like that, of course not on purpose I mean from her perspective she spent most of her time in the wilds of Africa hanging out mostly with animals and nature. She had not really had much time with people in general, especially not around her age or that she could really connect to. Or that she felt she had a special connection with, that could really understand her. Jess like most people felt I could understand her, and so she opened up to me in a way she did not open up to others. The problem was that I felt like she wanted me to spend all my time with her, and she would get upset if I gave some time and attention to other people or even my computer. She did not want to share me, but keep me all to herself, after all she waited 5 years to meet me. I understand this, its just I need to feel my freedom, to feel free to talk to who ever, with out someone making me feel or telling me its not ok all the time. I mean I just escaped this from my last relationship and now here it was with jess again. Then there was something else, jess wanted to be more then friends and it was not something I could do, nor was I open to, I do not swing that way, I’m just not wired nor interested in that and when I told her this so many times, as this did come up on skype , so I thought we were clear on it, but apparently not. I wanted to be clear about this, so I could feel comfortable traveling with her. But when it came up again, I was not very happy; she said my heart was like ice with a huge brick wall, which really hurt. Of course my heart had a lot of protection. I just got it back and I am not about to give it out again so easily. I must not do what I did in the past. Aside from that I was not ready to give my heart to anyone. I wanted her to respect that but our relationship changed after that very unpleasant & sobering conversation. We could not just go back to how we were before I was more on my guard now and keeping even more of my distance. I was sad I could not give her or others what they wanted which really is just love unconditionally, my past was not allowing it. I saw time and again what happened every time I put myself out there unconditionally, all the misunderstandings and people wanting to possess me as if I was a fairy or something to hide away from the world and keep all to themselves. Its shocking to see it still all there from 7 years ago, the same problems after all this time, now even more intensified, how embarrassing. It was hard as I could not stop thinking about all the plans in the future we had made. To travel all over Africa together, to study with shamens, feed the hungry, heal the sick with jesses tinctures and tonics, to work with the white lions, and bring my mom out there. Jess was even planning to help arrange for me to live in Africa with her full time and now as much as I was excited to do all those things; I was in doubt about it all as i no longer felt comfortable around her. We still managed to make the best out of the remaining weeks together, though it was now awkward. We continued to explore, scooter around town, swim in the riverbeds, slide on rocks off the waterfalls, feeding our favorite elephant and explore new areas. We explored and sang in a cave, and visited the long neck tribes. We did some videos on natural remedies while you travel to avoid vaccines and such. We did a video on the astral realm being high jacked and much more. I talked with her about going to India with me and she shared me stories of when she went there and what it was like and how crazy It is there and about her friend that abandoned her for a guy. Apparently if you make eye contact with a guy there they think you want to marry them. She wanted me to promise her that I would never do the same.


Chapter 14 Mushy Stuff

One morning at breakfast what started off as a peaceful morning became and unpleasant gassing experience. We only had 5 minutes notice some large advertising truck came by speaking in Thai, we thought it was another advertisement for the coming election. A waitress came out and said they said they will be spraying now to keep the insects away you better leave but we were too late and suddenly their was a mist of the most foal chemical and we did our best to cover our faces and get on the bike and get as far away from that area as we could. We drove up onto the hills into the country-side. I sat down to relax and take in the beauty jess disappeared and came back shortly to tell me that a guy had showed her where to find golden teacher mushrooms which was growing everywhere actually as cows just roamed freely here. If you saw a cow near by you could bet there would be mushrooms. Now I have never done any drugs or ever had the desire to do any. I do not even smoke cigarettes and never will. I rarely drink alcohol, one drink is more then enough for me, and can not stand clubs. Weed to me I do not like at all either nor do I like hanging out with pot-heads so I try to avoid that. I do not like how it makes you lazy and addicted and all the stories/ excuses people make as to why they need it. It always seems to be taken by people to get distracted and to not face the root issue my ex smoked it all time I did not like it all. I did try it and was not impressed with it at all. I really did not like what how it made me feel like I was fine and everything was ok when I knew I was not. I have been around people doing mushrooms to and I never took any, I felt when people do it for recreation they are disrespecting nature and what she has to share and if we do it with that intent then it leads to addiction, distraction, escapism and self destruction even mental craziness I witnessed that enough to see that most people were not I guess mature enough to really understand these things. I often interviewed people who tried drugs and I always understood their experience better then them, I always explained to them, they were always shocked to find I knew so much about it with out ever doing it. I also really disliked that when ever I would share my mystical insights with people or on video or read my poems always someone would say wow you must have done some crazy drugs to dream up that stuff. It was annoying cause people did not understand reality at all or how other dimensions work. These things are natural not some drug trip. But jess was different she had lived out in nature her whole life and stayed away the social drug party scene she understood and respected what the mushroom really is and stood for, also we were out in nature not in a city. We also recently watched a really amazing documentary in Bangkok called The Pharmacratic Inquisition about the amentiamascaria the red and white mushroom everyone was told to stay away from and never touch, or you will surly die. If you want to know why I highly suggest this documentary. It goes a lot deeper then consumer a mushroom. Here is the link, im sure this will blow your mind, as it clearly shows how all religions came from that mushroom. I did not know that this documentary was for-shadowing to me something that would come later and again its not necessarily to consume this mushroom, but something else. The first half is a bit boring as it talks about some stuff that is shared in Zeitgiest but the second half is wow.

Ok I was in the right circumstances to try the golden teacher mushrooms with Jess so I did. We went out to the fields and picked them wild and ate them along the way. I also liked how these mushrooms were not sprayed or tampered with by the hands of man in anyway. I talked to each one of the mushrooms and the spirit itself that represented them, sharing my intent that I had no intention in over indulging and abusing her just absolute respect with out any conditioning’s. What I noticed how I was viewing nature with HD eyes, the colors were much brighter as if it was all being highlighted or their auras were just clearly visible. I also had the ability for my eyes to zoom in and out and every line of the tree stood out the trees seemed like they were all dancing and waved to us. I know this is how we saw the world when were kids naturally, everything was our friend, everything had a spirit a personality and that’s why and how we could stay outside playing for hours and never got bored. The mountains melted then turned into water, moving like it had waves, they then turned purple and it looked like fish and whales were jumping out. When we drove into town anything that was man made had the most intolerable sound and was dull almost fading away it was so ugly to look at while nature just shone and sang dancing and showing faces of nature spirits everywhere. People that were confused or messed up their faces tended to melt to skeleton like as if they were dead or something. If me and jess looked at each others faces we would see past the hologram like I shared in videos before being able to do this naturally all of these experiences with out mushrooms only it was a bit more precise, clear & easy with the mushrooms; I saw the many forms that Jess was, human and non human, the most interesting being a bright blue and orange striped fish. It was a very interesting experience and I understood a lot from it. The weird Buddhist symbols and signs had a horrible murky energy to it as if it was their to hold people in an etheric prison to them those things were beautiful but if they saw them how they really were and the true intent of them they would to be so keen to them and even want to remove them. But that would be breaking the law and result to going to jail of course. We did not have any bad trips at all with the mushrooms i thanked them for what they showed me and forever carry it in me. I did not do them anymore after that. But what i saw and experienced from them i know is natural and how children and non confused people see the world. this is our birthright that we somehow disconnected from and this is why so many feel bored and lonely they have totally forgotten.

Chapter 15 The Earthquake Crack

Since jessica had been here before me she discovered this place that had an earthquake crack in the ground and she so badly wanted to bring me there I almost forgot about it until she brought it up one day on the last two days of our time in Pai, I said sure. So there we are in this rural village with giant roosters roaming around and locals trying to sell us snacks but we continue on past all this; riding our bike as high up as we can go, till we have to abandon it and take it from foot from then on. Further up the steep cliff we went, until we reach the top and on the very top there is this little shrine for the spirits.  And just off to the side is the earthquake crack, it’s a lot bigger then I thought it was. Jessica told me how she spent lots of time just sitting in there listening to mother earth. She said the energy is amazing and I should go in with her and feel it for myself but I did not want to climb in there. I did not feel the need nor was i really comfortable with the idea for some reason, plus the gap was really big. I thought that if I would have to jump I was not so confident in myself to make this jump either. I just had a bad feeling about it all but jess coaxed me on. So I did I jumped and to my surprise, I made it. Then we had to grab a branch to scale down even further down. That to was a bit of a jump, and the rocks down there were very sharp. I watched jessica maneuver down with no problem so I followed suite but the branch broke and I fell. I knew I was falling while I was falling somehow. And in that moment it was almost like time froze. I could assess the situation and move my body in a way so that when I had impact I would have the least amount of damage and then time started up again and I hit the ground thud. I was in shock, as I had not seen my own blood like this in a very long time maybe since I was 8 years old. Then there was the pain and the tears, like a little kid, I think even cried out for my mommy. My right leg had a big gash in it a chunk of skin was missing my right upper arm skin was practically all skinned off of me and it hurt & burned so much and plus I was covered in dirt. Jessica of course felt terrible. She did her best to help me get out of shock & help me get out the earthquake crack. Then back on the bike and down the hill. The locals all looked on but pretty much ignored me. We drove into town but found it hard to find the shop that sold first aid supplies; as the shops open and close randomly when ever they feel like it. So you could drive down the same road many times and not even recognize that it’s the same road. I remember it took a long time to find a shop that had first aid supplies. When we finally found one, the people who worked at there completely ignored us they just played with their iphones angry bird games, and jess was left to try to read the packaging that contained no English writing on it. I just stood outside like a wounded bird crying and hoping jess would hurry up. Finally she found what she needed and we drove back to our place where I laid down on the ground and she cleaned and dressed my wounds the best she could. Then I went to sleep at about 2pm. I was not aloud to swim or walk until I recovered more, I also had to be careful in exposing my wounds as Thailand was known to have flesh eating bacteria.

Chapter 16 Goodbye Pai, Goodbye Thailand, Goodbye Jess

On our last day we took the dreaded drive out of Pai which was full of twists and turns every 2 minutes that it makes you sick to your stomach almost right away. The only way to survive it is to lay down or try to sleep the whole 2 hours.  We then caught a plane to Bangkok. We did not end up going to other countries in asia like we originially planed we ran out of time and we did not want to rush or stretch everything to thin.  Jessica was heading back to South Africa and at that time I was still on the fence on weather I would go to Africa in 2 months time.  At the airport I thought I would just buy my flight to Singapore right there. But then I realized I had lost my bank-card. It turns out I left it in the bank machine back in Bangkok city center. Great, my bank-card, another thing that Thailand took from me. What was I to do? There was no Internet access at the airport for me to go on line so as to inform my bank about it. I was worried because I had no money to buy my flight ticket to Singapore and I had a workshop to do there in 2 days. Jess ended up helping me out by getting the ticket for me. I do not know what I would have done if she was not there. She happened to have her dads credit card and used that and before I knew it her time had come to catch her flight back to Africa. It was her flight that was to leave first so we did our goodbye and promises to stay and touch and meet up next in Africa, but i was still not sure if i would feel comfortable to go out and do that trip now but i did not say anything i needed more time to think and feel it out. Then I wen to catch my flight a few hours later. Here are the last videos we did together in Pai that I promised to share. enjoy

Shabby Shack Show-  Natural Remedies for Staying Healthy while Travelling

The Shabby Shack Shamanista Show Adventures in Pai Thailand bugs spiders & Shack’s fire dancing

The Shabby Shack Show & Our Songs in the Womb of Gaia (Pai Thailand)

The Shabby Shack Show at the Long Neck Tribe Thailand  in Confidence is the New Sexy

The Shabby Shack Shamanista Show in Has the Astral Realm Been High Jacked?

The Shabby Shack Shamanista Show in The Twin Elf Healing Elephant Adventure –

The Shabby Shack Shamanista Show: Last Day Last Episode in Thailand 😦

Thanks for reading my blog for more information about me check my website out at or on facebook and youtube.

warm embrace laced in grace thank you for you being you
we are the answer to our prayers because their are no limits just beliefs

Author: Jessica Schab

Memoirs of a Former Mystic - Blogs I've written many blogs but the series about my time in Bali, Indonesia, when my radical changes took place, is what has garnered the most curiosity and acclaim. In it, I share everything about that process from beginning to end and in great detail, so that others can get to know me and better understand what I am about. My Bali Blog series is an exploration of my own personal confusion towards rational thinking that has helped myself and others to see our own cognitive dissonance. It exposes the many things that we hide from ourselves and why. ​I highly suggest to read the blogs in order, from part 1 to 5. Otherwise, it will be hard to understand the content. I myself am shocked to realize that I had no idea how conditioned and problematic my spiritual beliefs were until I wrote these blogs; how they affected every aspect of my life and created so many unnecessary problems, making me so afraid to even dare to think or imagine my life and who I was without them. I can see now the contradictions I had to want to understand, watching these elements fight within me, planting mine fields of self-destruction in my mind when I forced myself to think without spiritual beliefs that acted like a drug for me, often times taking over my mind and thinking for me. How could I get myself to stop protecting these beliefs? Such a question led me to understand why others are so keen to choose irrationality instead of logic when it comes to their ideologies. It's one of the many reasons that led to me speaking up about why I am so concerned about this movement and the dangers of these beliefs. I would describe my changes as a massive tidal wave; a tsunami sweeping me and everything I was familiar with away. I honestly do not think I would have made it had I not learned how to surf my psyche. You would think the tidal wave would be the worst of it, right? So did I. I can say it’s not the case. You can ask people who have experienced a massive tsunami or any natural disaster and they will tell you the worst part is actually the aftermath; dealing with the dramatic shift, and in my case the psychological changes. How does one go on after something like that? What next? It’s not like one can go back to how things used to be and forget it ever happened; the experience echoes in your bones. It’s futile and insane to rebuild the old and familiar in your psyche and to encourage former hopes and beliefs. Especially because it often is what beckoned and fuelled the tsunami to begin with. When you get to the root, you must start completely new so as not to recreate the past. ​Ha! Easier said than done! So, these blogs are also an invitation and challenge to detect what is confusion and what is fact. To have people ask themselves: Are my beliefs thinking for me? It becomes more apparent and easier to pinpoint and reduce one's conditioned thinking when one finishes the whole series in order. Then, one can see their own results on how they scored with detecting and exploring their own cognitive biases.​ Best of luck. ​Enjoy and please let me know what you think :-)

One thought on “Thailand May-June 2012

  1. thank u for sharing this with us 🙂

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