Jessica Schab

Bali Blog Series


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The Reason for My Sabbatical

I am writing this because I felt everyone needed an update on our situation as well as more information about my sabbatical. I also want everyone to know that even though I’m on sabbatical, I will still be working part-time. I will still check my mail and post some blogs and videos, although I may be slower in responding to e-mails.

I am not turning my back on you, nor will I ever leave your side. I am still here for you. I am not backing down, either. In fact, I am more fueled and determined than ever, and that is why I have decided to take this sabbatical.

You see, I have been fueled for a very long time, and I’m oh-so determined to carry out my mission. I am 100% sure we are going to make it through this. Even though our landlord and others are trying to make our life difficult, these efforts will not last. Rather than feeling dejected, I feel that this is the best and most exciting time to be alive. Every life we have ever lived has prepared us for this one, and the most important moment is now. I still want to give my all to you guys in the long-term, but I may have to pace myself in the short-term.

My Health Situation

I have been temporarily forced to slow down because my body needs to heal. If one runs an engine at full speed and never gives it a break (I even work while I sleep), what will happen to the engine? How can I help anyone if I am not fully up to par? It turns out that my adrenals are burned out, and if I do not stop completely, then my health is in serious jeopardy. My problem is that I don’t know how not to work. I have been doing this for so long, and it is so hard to slow down. There is so much going on in this world. When I hear about stuff going on and I can’t help because of my health, I get upset.

I do not want to get into too much detail about my health right now. I have been seeing a healer. (Gus is helping her with her web site, and as soon as it is up, I will share it here.) My healer will be working with both Mom and me, and she is certain that she can heal us 100%.  She has recently been seeing a 77 year old woman with stage 4 cancer who was given an 8% chance of survival. The doctors told her to go home and make her will. After seeing her for only two weeks, this woman is now about 80% better. She is like a new woman, and her husband is falling in love with her all over again. How cute is that?

I will be keeping a journal and sharing more about Linda. If this information will help people, then you can bet I will share it. I will give you full details so you can understand the healing approaches that she is using. Even though Mom and I know a lot about health and diet, we have been missing some of the fundamentals. As smart as Mom is in this field, she did not know some of the concepts that this healer was teaching, and as for me, well, I am so lost to my work that I really do not know much about the physical body.

The timing of this stuff with our landlord and our roof blowing off couldn’t have been more perfect. The universe was looking out for me. It knew that I was sick and was having a hard time stopping, so it did some things that would give me no choice but to stop–very clever indeed!  In recent blogs, I have been honest about needing help, and that has opened doors for me I never knew existed. People sent me contact information for healers in our area, and one of them was this healer  she  says that Mom must be better because she will play a manager role for me. She will also be responsible for managing everyone’s health in the family. Our family will indeed be a team.

This healer and I get the feeling that I am being prepared for something big. I have no idea what it is, but an inkling of it is expressed in a poem I wrote called Dear Dream. (Dream is the word I use for my mission). We all need to come together and share our gifts in order to succeed, and the universe is shifting, bending, folding, twisting, winding, and doing whatever it needs to bring this about. Maybe you have sensed the universe’s plan in your life, and so you have been reluctant to judge a situation until you see the divine aspects being laced between the so-seeming shizer. When I first learned about how bad my health is, I did not feel any worry or concern. I know that I will be around for the long haul, so don’t worry, guys! You have to trust me when I say that I will be OK. I mean, look at the pattern of my life and how much I am looked after by my guides. Things are starting to get really interesting now. I say bring it on! Let’s dance. Let’s get this over with.

I have found that slowing down and becoming more in touch with my physical limitations feels rather strange. I am really slow and tired with low energy. I feel disconnected but not abandoned. This healer has advised that I pull all the books out of my room because I am absorbing and reading more than one of them while I sleep, and she is right. I do this often. I am often conscious of this while I am working with other people, while speaking, and so forth. I even witness myself dream. It feels as if millions of TVs are on all at once, and I am jumping back and forth to each one. Or sometimes it is like I’m in a hall of mirrors, and I witness different facets of myself reflecting in many other mirrors. It is really trippy! Also, I have had astral traveling experiences where I left my body and saw myself sleeping in bed. Then I split myself up again and witnessed myself watching me sleeping in bed. Then I split up more and more, and my spirit would go off in different directions. I learned I could do this at the age of 20. But now I must forego all this fun. I must dream as others do and just allow myself to be human. This healer has said that my guides are going to shut me down for a while so I can rejuvenate, and then I will be put back into the game like never before. This time, I will be of much more value to this world. I will be able to do more, and my success and my health will be everyone else’s health and success. So far, this healer has started us on all the Conscious Planet products. I’m also taking coconut water and Miracle Mineral Supplement (MMS). I’m eating a lot of raw food, and most of our food is blended. We can eat some cooked food, but only near dinnertime. I’m finding that I’m losing my appetite for cooked food. Mom says that she already feels better, and her headaches don’t last as long. Some have suggested that we drink Kangen Water, but it is very pricey, so we will see about that. In the meantime, we are getting a jug of Kangen Water from a friend who has the machine.

My New Boyfriend, Gus

Speaking of being human, my guides surprised me and suddenly gave me a boyfriend whose name is Gus. He is 33 years old. He is from Toronto, and his ethnicity is Cypriot on the Greek side.

It took me a long time to accept or even get used to the idea of having a boyfriend. This in itself is a long story. Now I understand why I have not yet written the “Matters of the Heart” blog. It’s because Gus needs to be in that blog and because it is quite a story how we ended up together.

Going public with this relationship has caused me to lose lots of good male friends, which really hurt and shocked me. This one guy named Duanne lost it. First, he did not believe my boyfriend was a real person. Then in asking questions about Gus, Duanne got upset when he learned that he and Gus had the same birthday, Halloween. Duanne felt that I should be with him, and he felt there was some mistake.

Then he tried to drive up from the U.S. to marry me, but he kept getting arrested at the border for not having the proper I.D. His family not only bailed him out every time, but they also contacted me and asked me help set him straight. Of course, I was eager to help in anyway I could, but sadly, none of it worked, and they ended up committing him. I was wondering how this guy was planning to get to my house. Did he have my address? It turns out he did not, but he told the cops that he would find me because his guides would show him the way. Do’h! He learned that from me.

Today, I learned that Duanne is trying to get his Canadian citizenship. He feels we must be together for the sake of the world, and his sister suggested that I get a restraining order. I think that I will do just that as I have no other choice. I just do not know a better way to make it clear to this guy.

I learned not too long ago that he was released from the mental hospital, and he has since been pretending to be my boyfriend. He has been sending me inappropriate letters and befriending my friends, trying to convince them that he is my Gus. I cannot help feeling really bad because of this. I mean, he never had a history of this behavior until I came into the picture. The only thing is, we hardly spoke, and he knew I had a boyfriend. I never led him on or anything or gave him the idea that we were soul mates.

Something like this had happened before, but it was a way worse because I got a death threat from the guy’s brother. (See the end of my Sedona the 3rd blog.) The brother said that if I was in contact with his brother again, he would use his military connections in Canada to have me taken out. Again, I hardly spoke much with this guy either.

So I am trying to understand how someone could allow themselves to think like this if the romantic love is not reciprocated. I mean, don’t I get any say in all this? Isn’t my heart also involved? Is it wise to assume or even allow ourselves to go there if that person has not told us directly that, “Yes, I feel the same thing for you?” Or maybe that other person just needs more time, which is the hopeful side of it all, but if it does not happen, then will it not eventually cause some serious trouble?

My boyfriend says that I am unconscious flirt because I call everyone “hun” and “sweetie,” and this makes guys think I really like them. He says with my being super nice, like Cameron Diaz in There’s Something About Mary, that men are not just wanting to hook up with me, they want me as their wife and the mother of their children. They see me as the ideal woman, and the fact that I am single really gives them hope. I have no idea how to respond to this. I have been nice to both men and woman because I want them to know that good people with high ideals do exist, and more than we usually think.

I have really loved being single, and I haven’t dreamed much about romantic love. I liked the idea of belonging to no man and being like the wind, belonging to the planet and its people. There was a part of me that was prepared to spend my life single for my cause if need be, or maybe be a single mom or maybe even adopt. Being single helped me and my mission. It helped me to nurture all those I came across, to hold people and let them know that everything would be alright.

Now can you imagine doing this while being involved? What guy would understand and be cool and trusting enough to let me do this? Well, Gus is, and he knows that I must continue to do this. I was aware that men were contacting me in hopes I was the one for them, which was very upsetting because that is not the reason I reached out to the world. I did not have a hidden agenda. I just wanted to inspire others.

Can you imagine if I only did this to find a guy? Then what would I do, just stop all my work after I got what I wanted? When we look at the truth, this is not about me or you. It is about all of us working for the universe, so we all must do our part. If I am to be with someone, then it will also be for the greater good of the world.

Now that being said, when I was finally able to admit to myself and friends that Gus is my boyfriend, I knew I had to go public with it because that is what I do–I share. So what was I to do, hide this from everyone because of concerns that some wouldn’t see it as good news? I made a promise to be honest about my journey no matter what, and all of you are my witnesses.

Right now, I am planning to reveal more about him and share pictures of him. Actually, I do have a few pictures of him up on my facebook under storm photo album called the “Zaveruha” (not the right spelling). He is also in the Squamish team pictures on facebook. He is the one on the far left. He is also in the YouTube Zawierucha video. He is the guy I did a zoom-in on the butt crack. (I am just kidding! Gus was the camera man.) Yes, he was the guest at my house during the storm.

Speaking of the Zawierucha and the situation with my landlords, I was actually forewarned by three people that this trouble would happen. Last December, one friend got a psychic reading on me for the upcoming year, and the psychic said I would have some troubles for the first several months of 2010, but after that the year would go much better. Another time was in Spain. A woman warned me that people whom I thought were friends would betray me when I got home. (This would be my landlord and the woman he is engaged to. Both were former friends.) The last forewarning I’ll mention was actually the earliest. I first shared this story in my Sedona the 3rd blog, which I published in May of 2009. A day after I gave my MUFON talk in Sedona, I went to the Java Love Café to meet with some people. A guy approached me and told me that he had a dream about me, and he had to tell me a word that he was unfamiliar with. The word was Zephyr, and I had no clue what that meant. Just recently, a friend who was reading my older blogs saw that word and said that Zephyr means the west wind. It turns out it was indeed a west wind that tore the roof off our house!

Oh, and while we are on this topic, a mystic told me another accurate prediction right out of the blue about Gus. (I certainly never ask mystics about relationship questions like this, and for a good reason that I will reveal in my “Matters of the Heart” blog.) Anyway, he told me that the love of my life would be coming to me soon and that his background would be Mediterranean.

Gus has been playing a huge role with helping Mom and me with our health situation. Although we have not been together for very long, we are very serious and very much in love. He is wonderful man. Most of my family (including Forrest—although I am curious how Gus will do with Lee) and friends fell for him before I did. They all knew we would be together no matter how much I tried to tell them that we were just friends and that I wasn’t interested, etc. It seems that I was the last to know.

Well no, I actually did know in the very beginning, which was two weeks before my trip to Europe. It is a long story that I will save for the “Matters of the Heart” blog. I really need Gus at this time in my life. His timing could not have been better. At first, he was like a boomerang. I kept trying to get rid of him, and the universe kept bringing him back to me.

It is strange because my guides kept me single for a long time, and then one day they said, “OK, you need to be with this guy, even though he is not a new ager. You need balance at this time.” Gus is a very 3D, man of the world kind of guy, which helps me big time. At first, he was not someone I could ever see myself with. He started off as a Vladimir and fast became awakened studying all my stuff. He was like a sponge, trying to absorb as much as he could, and he has thoroughly impressed me with his heart, spirit, and determination. Together, we make a really good team, and I feel so there is so much more I can do now. I am starting to like having a businessman in my life. It is kind of nice. No, actually it is awesome! Our love is deeply romantic, and I’m loving it!

Our Housing Situation

As for our housing situation, not much has changed. We still have not found another place to call home, but it is OK because Gus has been helping with this as well. He put our bully landlords in their place and found a way to buy us more time to find a place. That way, we can stay here so Steve can finish school. What Gus has come up is incredibly intelligent. So all Dave can do is call the cops to have them harass us, a typical fear tactic. I will share more details about how Gus has handled the landlords.

You guys just have to see this notice, which I have included at the end of this blog. It is a very powerful and intelligent document that no lawyer would touch for less than $5,000. Irene from the Squamish Project, a lawyer, contributed her skills and gave this notice even more legal punch. They like to make us think like we have no power and there is nothing we can do. This is not true, and again I offer myself and my life events as living proof. Perhaps this document can help others.

In using the Landlord Tenant Act, we found that the cops cannot get involved because our case is a civil matter. If the police officers try to intervene, they will get in trouble with their superiors. The last time our landlord came over with two cops, he presented us with a 10 day eviction notice. They really want us out at the end of the month. I am sure it is because they already promised our place to a new tenant who will be paying them more.

Everything Dave does he just brings Gus and me closer together. Again, how I can I be mad at the landlord guy when he is unconsciously providing me with so many blessings? Poor thing! He tries so hard to be a jerk, but rest assured, he will never again be a successful jerk with any of his future tenants. Later on, I will definitely send him a thank-you letter. I am halfway done with it.

Moving on, what we did was petition for a phone trial using the Landlord Tenant Act. Until that time, we will effectively be under “house arrest.” If we all leave, we risk having the landlord coming in, taking all of our possessions, and changing the locks!  That means that at least one person has to be at home at all times, but really it means more than that. For example, Gus would like to take my healer and me to Toronto to help heal his terminally ill father. I can’t go with Gus because I can’t risk leaving Mom and Steve. And because I can’t go, Gus doesn’t want to go because he needs to protect us. That means that somehow we have to get our healer out to heal Gus’s father. Somehow, we will work this all out.

Back to our court situation, if we win, we will be given another two months, but if we lose, we will be given a few days to find a new place to move, but we do not want to stay cause the mould has gotten so bad we are now having breathing troubles. We might have to just stick it out  if  there is a chance to stay here until summer, and Steve will finish school. If not, Gus and I and others who are willing to help will have to act fast to find the right space of love for my family. We will need to have a contingency plan in place.

Oh fiddle-de-dee! I have just been informed that our phone wire has been cut with pliers, and now it is on the road. Well, it is obvious who would be motivated to do this, but do we have proof that he did it? Nope. Well, things are getting ugly. This guy is not playing by the rules.

[A little bit later….] Ok, some people are here now to fix our phone line. They said there would not be any charge. They are really cool people! We had a few laughs together, and I gave them some cookies, which I’m not allowed to have.

Oh, and here is another interesting landlord development. He will not let me pay rent by check. He wants only cash, but when he demanded cash before, he never gave us any receipts. That means that he is likely skipping out on taxes as well. He said, “I made no deal to let you stay here longer, and I want February rent.” Now, we did not pay because he never gave us receipts for our cash payments. He said that if we paid by check, he would up the rent!

So now he does not want to abide by the Tenant Landlord Act. We have to take this to the board and the police again. I am becoming so much stronger from all this. I am no longer intimidated by him and his long record of bullying people. Some of the people that he has bullied have since come to me and confided in me. No one dared to stand up to him before! Many people say he is mentally unstable this very well could be true.

As for the housing money that people donated to me, it will not be touched until we move to our new place, though I might have to use some for my health. I have a friend who is coming from Mexico in mid-March to help us get a new place. Another friend is coming out from Vegas to look at purchasing a vineyard in the Summerland-Penticton area. He would like to have my family live there. It is a surreal offer. Will it actually come to be? We will see, or maybe Gus and I will have to make plans of our own. My Vegas friend will come up here at the end March when Mom returns from Spain. We have decided it would be wise for Mom to still go and not let her free ticket go to waste. Besides, Gus and I can handle everything here.

One last note about my health: Gus has made an exercise regimen for me, which consists of Bikram yoga. I am not sure how I will survive this. I hear this type of yoga is super-intense, and let’s just say that exercising is not my strong suit. But I am determined to hold my own and push myself to get healthy, not just for you guys, but now for my darling tumbleweed too! (That’s Gus, everyone. He gets called a lot of quirky terms of endearment names. “Tumbleweed” is an inside joke with the family. For example, Steve gets called things like “fuzzy bee hat,” “sagglegork,” or “bean curd.” The more creative, the better!)

I am still with you all, marinating this world with all my unconditional love and comfort.


All that is real is invisible. True love is not visible, but it makes the world turn. Your powers are alive, but many are still water yet to be poured. There is always more to the story. If you believe you can, then it happens. This is just the beginning. We have yet to reach full bloom….

The magic of you is that you are unique, a one-of-a-kind being who is blessed by both the goddess and the god. Be happy for who you are and follow your dreams. One of the worst things one can do is abandon one’s dreams or live an unfulfilled life. Don’t let anyone beat the dream out of you. When the dream dies, it never truly leaves your consciousness. It will haunt you, and what you once loved, you will then hate and resent. Believe in your dreams. Be yourself, for no one else can be, and live the life you were meant to live.

Author: Jessica Schab

Memoirs of a Former Mystic - Blogs I've written many blogs but the series about my time in Bali, Indonesia, when my radical changes took place, is what has garnered the most curiosity and acclaim. In it, I share everything about that process from beginning to end and in great detail, so that others can get to know me and better understand what I am about. My Bali Blog series is an exploration of my own personal confusion towards rational thinking that has helped myself and others to see our own cognitive dissonance. It exposes the many things that we hide from ourselves and why. ​I highly suggest to read the blogs in order, from part 1 to 5. Otherwise, it will be hard to understand the content. I myself am shocked to realize that I had no idea how conditioned and problematic my spiritual beliefs were until I wrote these blogs; how they affected every aspect of my life and created so many unnecessary problems, making me so afraid to even dare to think or imagine my life and who I was without them. I can see now the contradictions I had to want to understand, watching these elements fight within me, planting mine fields of self-destruction in my mind when I forced myself to think without spiritual beliefs that acted like a drug for me, often times taking over my mind and thinking for me. How could I get myself to stop protecting these beliefs? Such a question led me to understand why others are so keen to choose irrationality instead of logic when it comes to their ideologies. It's one of the many reasons that led to me speaking up about why I am so concerned about this movement and the dangers of these beliefs. I would describe my changes as a massive tidal wave; a tsunami sweeping me and everything I was familiar with away. I honestly do not think I would have made it had I not learned how to surf my psyche. You would think the tidal wave would be the worst of it, right? So did I. I can say it’s not the case. You can ask people who have experienced a massive tsunami or any natural disaster and they will tell you the worst part is actually the aftermath; dealing with the dramatic shift, and in my case the psychological changes. How does one go on after something like that? What next? It’s not like one can go back to how things used to be and forget it ever happened; the experience echoes in your bones. It’s futile and insane to rebuild the old and familiar in your psyche and to encourage former hopes and beliefs. Especially because it often is what beckoned and fuelled the tsunami to begin with. When you get to the root, you must start completely new so as not to recreate the past. ​Ha! Easier said than done! So, these blogs are also an invitation and challenge to detect what is confusion and what is fact. To have people ask themselves: Are my beliefs thinking for me? It becomes more apparent and easier to pinpoint and reduce one's conditioned thinking when one finishes the whole series in order. Then, one can see their own results on how they scored with detecting and exploring their own cognitive biases.​ Best of luck. ​Enjoy and please let me know what you think :-)

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