Jessica Schab

Bali Blog Series

Revelation in Costa Rica blog 2012

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Chapter 1 Pre-blog Musings

Before I write about Costa Rica I will first share about some things that happened prior to the trip. Its funny no sooner did I finish writing my blog then I felt the new blog brimming sometimes its hard to know when to end the story and where the next one should start they tend to flow and merge into one another all the time the beginning and the end. Then there is the matter once its written and off my chest I do not look back and I am ready to move on funny how I and others can not move on till things are off our chest and we have released our soul to the world; past life healing stems from this basis of understanding as well. I wonder how many life times are we living in this one? Is time speeding up or slowing down? its hard to gauge. In one week it feels like I have lived a month a year or a whole life time. I am young in my body but yet I feel so unbelievably old like I am a grandmother already and this life, these now moments are just my memories and stories I tell my children as they play with time travel chakras activated in them.

Then there is you guys its another funny thing you guys feel me and know when I am sad or happy and vice versa yet we do not have the details we just feel guided to each other at certain times and most of the time that’s clarity that’s given on how much we are in tune with each other. I feel you guys so much it pushes me and motivates me to do more then I think is possible cause I know I’m not alone, we are not alone. I am so proud to see so many documentaries, movies, tv shows, youtube, books, speakers projects, activists and humanitarians out there all doing work contributing the awakening. I can not help but feel proud for being apart of such and adding my bit to inspire and spark people to take back there power and know there is something they can do.  Perhaps that is why I like to end my emails with thank you for you being you cause its true with out us all working being inspired guided at just the right time collectively then we could not have created this lovely story of hope and liberation. Its evidently dawning into our reality and spilling over in a contagious manor into all the gloomy realities as well. Yet the rifts are becoming more apparent the old verses the new, but with that I think the fear of change is dissipating fast as people are going from fear of change to excitement of change. Adventure calling, new life live movies coming atractions. Stagnation is something we all must contend with sooner or later, we must always watch out for mediocrity and look for magic all the time in our life and maintain it even in the so seeming general boring routines in life we find ourselves in.  We can push ourselves into finding new ways to making our stories exciting and new solutions to our problems. It definitely requires creative thought cause man can life get tricky and complex. The older we get the more of a challenge it is to keep it all simple it seems. Lets take love for example, with this I feel like a walking contradiction especially when it comes to Goose.  My soul is happy to be single and breath again to be on my own and to fly yet my heart is still a bit sad. In my last blog I mentioned how my soul was sad and my heart was happy now it’s the opposite but probably its normal for things like this. Its like a first love thing its hard to forget it. Its hard to move on from someone you lived a long time with and they where all you knew and you where good friends. So yes I miss him I still make plans to see him and sometimes wish that we could be able to coexist but reality is always there giving me a good reality check. Its hard to stay away from him which is why I manifested to go on this trip to have my space and connection with self back. I am not running away from my problems or my responsibilities its in fact helping me with my problem and responsibilities. Also I was traveling before I met him I am simply resuming where I had left off the best I can in a changing shifting tilting world. As I always get new perspective when I travel and I will be working as I go to. Ok that’s enough pre thoughts on with the blog. Like I said before I will be trying very hard to do a blog at least once a month so they will not be so long and easier for everyone. (lol who am I kidding you guys all know me that’s most likely not going to happen)


Chapter 2 Where There is a Will There is a Way

-Most of you who know me know how much my plans can change few can keep up with it and not go crazy. I try not to get to attached to the plans just surrender and go with it surf the waves. What’s hardest for me is to plan and coordinate people and places. No sooner did I make my video announcing my travel plans my friend told me he could not bring me out to Ireland or Africa cause his finance plans fell through. I told my other friend this in Africa and she said ok then I will fly you out to Africa myself. But she would need more time time to earn some more money in order to do this and the places she wanted to take me to she felt we would not be able to do for a month so we decided to cancel it. Or move it till later on in the year. Then I spoke to my Australia friends and told them how I am not going to Ireland or Africa as soon as I thought and they said perfect now you can join us in Thailand. They had already invited me to join them in Sri Lanka for the 27th of June.  They informed me that Thailand would be happening for them on the second week of April 2012. But I would still in Costa Rica at that time so I would not be able to make it out. Since I found out that after many times of asking my family to come to Costa Rica and not hearing back a clear answer from them I booked my tickets only to find out my family was going to come to costa rica but they would arrive on the 2nd of april I was leaving the 5th of april. I have not seen my family in 2 years what sense would it make to only see them for 2 days and return back to Canada. So I decided to extend my flight until the 19th which was when my family was set to fly back.  Changing plans in this way was not cheap.  Not just that I was supposed to go to go to Thailand right afterwards but it was too pricey to fly right from Costa Rica and I still had some things I would need to do in Toronto before I left for 6-7 months. There was so much info I was waiting on so I was in the unknown with these tentative travel plans. This has been the most last minute flying by the seat of my travel plans I have ever done.  Sometimes I stress about it but then stop as worry is a waste of brain cells.  Australia still was in the works and people were pushing for me to come saying they wanted to host me for workshops and conferences it was work I knew I would need to do some work if I was going to be away this long. I wanted to work cause I did not want to rely just on donations not that I did not trust the universe cause I do as it has proven itself time and time again but I wanted to meet the universe half way and also rely off of myself as being too much one way can  make us out of balance which then leads to laziness. India was also still in the picture and it was becoming apparent that I would need more time out there.  But I was getting overwhelmed I did not know how all this  was to work first I thought I would be flown to Ireland then Africa and from there I would go all these other countries but now that was not the case.  Usually if its canceled like this I say ok its not meant to be, I can not go on this trip cause I can not afford it but I had already let myself get excited about all these places and decided despite all the obstacles I still wanted to go and I would I find a way it would definitely be worth it in more ways then one all I had to do was get myself out there. With little information little money and a plan I started to act like I was still going and taking steps in that direction. I had other people contact me randomly out of the blue tuning in on me and saying I know your concerned about this trip but you must go its very important that you do it will be life changing its even in your astrology chart so do not worry it will all work out. Its funny cause we have all heard that before and it can be annoying cause it tell us nothing how it will work out yet it always does. I got this thought that I did not want it to be that my traveling and life would be determined on other people able to bring me to their country cause sometimes they have the best intentions then it does not work out on their side maybe its time for me to meet them half way as I truly believe where there is a will there is a way. I had lots of will so I would find a way.  I liked working to it made me feel more responsible and have a little bit of control and say in my life. I worked when ever I could saving every bit I could and it felt good everyday I did something to move me closer to my goal and before I knew it the time had come for me to go Costa Rica.


Chapter 3 Costa Rica Al

On the 24th of March me and my friend Al flew from Toronto Canada to San Jose Costa Rica. On the plane I was getting excited about everything i was thinking about memories what will i remember most and what not so much. Which gnome in my head decides what will stick as a memory? and can we negotiate with that gnome to recall other things to memories we would like to recall. How is it some of us are permitted to recall being in the womb and others not? or being on a spaceship?

Arriving at the Coasta Rica airport was a wonderful soul family reunion I was so excited to finally meet them. Sophia a young woman of 24 has been in touch with me for 4 years now, and she would always ask me to come to Costa Rica so finally I said yes and there I was in Costa Rica hugging Sophia and her mother for the first time well in this lifetime at least. Al also had a wonderful connection with them right away. I would like to share a bit more about Al here. He is a great person to travel with he is easy going mostly always chill laid back he has got your back and will bring joy to everyone he meets.

  Al brings so much love with him everywhere he goes, he opens hearts and inspires all who cross his path. For Al there is no one he will not talk to everyone is an opportunity to give a smile and share kindness. I see him do it with people at grocery store check outs to random people walking the streets. He has these cards he makes and carries around it’s “says Peace on it and pass it on. I wish you peace and happiness in your life.” Then its followed by a quote “maybe all it takes is one good thought to change the world;” and on the other side of the card is another quote “just when the caterpillar thought all was lost it turned into a butterfly.” He also had a Spanish versions of these cards. I loved watching people look curiously at the cards as they read them and saw their whole being light up with an organic smile. If that was not enough he would also gift people with gratitude stones or crystals or a piece of jewelry. I recall before we left for our trip he spent days going around his place listening to any objects that called out to him saying I need to be a gift to this person on this trip. Al would always shop at the thrift store but not for him he says the objects speak to him and tell him that he is to gift them to someone and when the time comes he would let them know who. Al loves to give physical gifts and I can compare myself to him but we all have our own way of being and giving mine is not physical objects. We all gift this world in a plethora of different ways in accordance with the person we are and the modalities we fancy. Our last journey together in Sedona Al was told that he needs to go to Peru at some point in his life that there is something there for him and through various beautiful syncronsity he was called and led to be in Peru at a specific time. He put a crystal in the waters of lake Titicaca cause he was told to by the crystal this is where I need to be so in some ways Al is like Little grandmother planting crystals all over the world. Funny enough though I am known as a crystal child this is not one of my tasks. One other cool thing to share about Als trip to Peru was his meeting with Don Alehendro himself. Don said that they are brothers and that Don is the condor bird and Al is the eagle and no sooner after he said that he waved is hand in a mysterious magical way and then put his bare stomach and heart to Als and in that moment Al had a life recall of a time where he was an eagle flying side by side with a condor this vision that Don Alehandro gave to Al touched him profoundly.

Al also shared some wonderful stories about how he was called to this orphanage in Uganda Africa, it started with a dream he saw him surrounded by young African kids and then shortly after this man befriended him on facebook and after talking for awhile he realized he was speaking with a young kid who was saddled with lots of responsibility and a big dream to help as many kids as he could in his home town. There was such an unbelievable amount of poverty disease and hunger out there and he felt called to help like he could make a difference. This kid inspired Al so much that he felt he must meet this guy in person and so he did and it changed his life forever, to see people who live in such extreme conditions yet their eyes are so bright with a huge light and a tremendous amount of happiness and joy it makes so many wonder how can this be. To have nothing yet be happy while in culture we have everything and are not happy. He was so impressed by these people and this one young man taking on such a task that I can see often his mind and heart wonders back to Africa he may of left the country but the country has not left him and he often gets emotional just thinking about it. Here is a video that was made to tell you more about his work. Its my favorite place to tithe to we all need something to give our tithing’s to that inspires our hearts where we are helping even if its in a small way.

One of the last speeches that Al made during his departure when he had visited us here in Uganda

This is about the situation at the orphanage, the staff, how the kids do it at the orphanage, the state of accommodation and others

If I can fit it in my trip to Africa I will look into going to Uganda to see if I can visit this place and see what else I can do to help. I am already in touch with the man behind it all. I know they are the real deal and the money actually goes to the kids and not some fat cats pocket.


Chapter 4 Ometepe Nicaragua

Ok getting back to Costa Rica now. When we first arrived we only had one day there with family to enjoy so the whole family took us to a volcano. It was a long scenic drive. The ground where the Volcano was very hot Al buried a crystal and one of his cards as a gift to the Volcano. While the girls tried to stand on their heads. The water was a lovely turquoise blue. Its said that these volcanoes erupt every 80 years some erupt slower then others so people would have time to escape. Something really interesting about Central America for those who have never gone the beach on the Pacific side is all green water, rocky beaches sometimes black sanded. The water on the Atlantic side is more like the Caribbean blue water and white sand beaches it is said it is that way cause of the volcano’s as the volcano’s tend to erupt more on the pacific side. Costa Rica also has earthquakes every couple months most of them where small. In the rainy season which is 4-6 months of constant rain they can have land slides very easily. I was there for the tail end of the rainy season and I did not mind the nice warm rain where mother nature insisted I have a shower. The rain comes real fast and heavy and ends sometimes as fast as it came. Though I was caught in the rain for 10 seconds in that time period I was completely drenched from head to toe. Another interesting thing about Costa Rica that makes it an ideal for most people to want to live there is that it has no military, which is rather refreshing. Costa Rica is the richest country in Central America and because of that they have politics and issues with some of the other countries like Nicaragua who is like Mexico to the States. Americans are upset that the Mexicans are taking all their job but the jobs the Mexicans do are not the jobs that most want to do it’s the same with Costa Rica and Nicaragua.  I learned more about this on the 2nd day of my trip when I booked for me and Al to go to Ometepe a small island in Nicaragua. This idea came about when someone contacted me after hearing me say I will be going to costa rica and she said I highly recommend you go to Ometepe its not far and you will not regret it there is a wise man there that is older then the toltecs and inca he has amazing star knowledge you just have to meet him. I was more inclined to this cause Al was inquiring about Shamans in Costa Rica and I thought well this is pretty close to that. It sounded like an adventure and when I proposed it to Al he was game. So after a 7 hour bus ride and crossing two boarders (Costa Rica and Nicaragua) where no one knew what the heck was going on or what anyone was doing but to only look like they are busy. It was a bit of a unorganized zoo to cross the borders and the food they where selling was even more foreign and undesirable to say the least. Then there was the boat ride which was wonderful great people lovely view of a huge volcano and all the fresh mangos you can eat growing abundantly on the trees along the way. After the boat ride we set out immediately to find our shaman. But alas it was not meant to be he was not there he was in Guatemala. Yes I was disappointed as I was looking forward to this interaction and I am not one to usually anticipate until I am in the moment right at the door of the experience. But being a light worker is a luxury in that we have many tools in our belt on how to handle such situations and one of them is everything happens for a reason, its all good and meant to be. So as I wondered around this hostel called Indigo Viejo where the wise man/ shaman was supposedly to be I saw some incredible paintings that where depicting of star people the wise man was supposedly the painter of them and was said to be very knowledgeable of the stars.

oh for anyone who plans to go one day and find him his real name is Maoli. I continued walking further through the hostel and at the very back I saw monkeys chained to a tree. They where 2 white face monkeys and 2 howler monkeys of course I thought at first how cruel. Then I learned that they where chained cause if they where not they would be killed by other monkeys as monkeys are very territorial. This was a place for monkeys who could not live in the wild. The two howlers stayed in the tree out of reach from me. There was one white face that I could touch but was advised not to as it’s a biter and really hurts. The other white face was a baby less then a year old and he could be touched held and loved. He did bite but his teeth were not sharp so it did not hurt. Being able to see and interact with these monkeys took my disappointment away and I was so happy. I played with the baby for hours its one of the highlights from the trip. Just when I thought it could not get better the owner of the hostel pulls out an even younger monkey only a few weeks old howler monkey I can not even begin to describe to you what it feels like to get a warm embrace laced in grace from a monkey. To look into their eyes and feel their hands incredible. what a being! We only had one full day in Ometepe so the next day we rented a motorcycled and cruised around the island saying hola to every person that crossed our path finding unique ways to make the people smile. It was a wonderful day. The next day we had to leave on our ride back we met some flower hippy children who told me about a raw food eco community place they where staying at they where on more of a shoe string budget then me and they managed. We met a young man from Quebec who was arranging a biking tour across central America that people could do and connect with nature and thus become more enlightened. Ah the undercover unexpected enlightenment approach nice touch. The other amazing lady I met was a woman who at the age of 62 retired and had a small bit of money a pension perhaps of $1500 a month that came in for her retirement and rather then retiring in a home where the mind and body goes to waist and to check out of this incarnation she decided she was going to travel the world. When I met her she was 82 and still going strong people like this really inspire me its so important to have examples like this and am very grateful for them. I loved Ometepe and highly recommend it for anyone who wants to see Nicaragua. The people are different from Costa Rican in that they are more real its not as touristy there and not too many people speak English in Nicaruaga, they are also more poor but yet more happy. Something really wonderful about Ometepe is that there is no theft by anyone in the island we could leave our valuables out on the dinner tables in restaurants and no one would steal it cause the island depended on tourists they want to keep them happy and have no reason for people not to come. The island was small enough that if anyone did steal they would know who it was and make them give it back. Soon Ometepe will have a big airport though and things will change it will be more modernized which is a shame. The island also often lost power which to some was an inconvenience but to me I didn’t mind it was kinda fun.


Chapter 5 Raw Food Retreat

The next day from arriving from back from Ometepe  we met up with Sophias family they drove Al down to manual Antonio to meet some of his friends that where down here.  These friends of his apparently biked from Niagra falls Canada to California all the way down to costa rica she did this epic bike trip with her husband and 2 kids. The kids were 4 and 2 ½ year old. To me this is hard to imagine how someone can do this with their partner let alone with kids of that age and camping most of the way its seems just really hard to fathom. They said that they biked for only 4 hours a day right at sunrise so it is not that hot for them and they only bike for 4 days a week. They saved up 20 grand and took a year off work to do this so they can travel with their kids and stay closely connected to nature. I found this incredible and once they shared how they did it then it started to make sense how such a thing is accomplishable and why it’s a great idea for a family vacation. The kids get used to things after while and they do not complain or get upset but enjoy the view and all the sounds of nature.  I can say after meeting a couple cyclists I am more inclined now to travel a long distance via bike perhaps with my future partner one day. Before bikram yoga biking was my favorite form of exercising that along with tree climbing.


The next day me Al and Sophia headed to the raw food retreat.  Sophia is the one who invited me to Costa Rica and has been in touch with me for 4 years now she is 24 the same age as me when I did my interview with project Camelot. It was her first adventure a step in taking her a bit out of comfort zone doing something new. She was into rawfood though cause she had read the ringing cedar books. Sophias family took us over half way to the retreat when we had to be dropped off and taken the rest of the way by a truck. We climbed into the box with a little board as a seat and the road were bumpy and obscure it puts lots of wear and tare on any vehicle. I remember I loved the drive in the bumpy road as we went further away from civilization and traversing through more and more green taking in big deep breaths of the fresh clean crisp mountain air in Uvita Costa Rica.  It felt very Indiana jones like to me.  The land was wild rustic exotic fruits growing everywhere freely giving so lovingly to make sure our bodies have everything it needs and those plants felt such lucid pride to be in service in such a way.  We went to our tents and got set up washed up and unpacked. Me and Sophia shared a tent. We got the run down of the camp and our biggest concerned was relieved thinking we may have to poop in the jungle with some exotic creature spying on us. Here they used compost toilets and there were showers to.  Our host Eric was very interesting he knew so much about permaculture, raw food and sustainable living the only problem was his voice and tone was so boring so monotone that you really wanted to listen to his interesting info but would have trouble staying awake with his monotone voice. Think of the teacher from the movie Ferris Bullers day of and you will get right away what I mean. “Bueller Bueller anyone?” Aside from Eric there was his girlfriend who was said to be a clairaudient lightworker but never was able to look anyone in the eyes which I found odd. There was also one volunteer there a nice young man named Niel about my age with eyes like the sea after a storm his name was Neil. He was also very much into Anastasia and permaculture and was looking to learn as much as he could and work at a place that was wanting to be community oriented with his ideals. Not a place like Patcha Mama where there was raw food but also free sex with everyone and anyone and tons of psychedelics to boot ya that does not sound like an ideal raw food eco community to me but each to their own.  Neil wanted a calm stable place where he could exchange work for a place he could live and build a home and raise his family there. But Neil had a deep sadness about him, he had also come to this place to heal his broken heart. Nature is a perfect place to heal. 

Later on that day we went hiking to the first waterfall the closest and easiest one to get to. I never pass up an opportunity to jump in a waterfall. The water was pristine clean the sky clear with no chem trails anywhere to be seen. it meant so much to me to experience how it was meant to be and how it could still be if we all awaken and turn everything around. The sounds of various exotic birds singing their love song to life coded for our subconscious to activate our inner knowing like Mozart music playing in the background. While we swam and frolicked we found we where not alone little frogs where doing their thing ribbiting their song. The place was just magical.

This place in the jungle is really interesting and really rustic our first night we lost power and had to light lanterns as we tried to eat our dinner in the dark as bugs where landing everywhere we had to shine a flash light on every bite lest we eat a bug which was rather challenging oh well hukana matata. and later on at dinner time a beautiful tropic light green sports car looking frog showed up for a visit. what a beauty wish i got a pic. We have to be careful at night need a flash light lest we step on and offend a snake. Camping in the tents was really nice and peaceful. So many amazing night creature sounds. Except the ants they where this impressive organization especially the leaf cutters they could clear a field in a week with their industrious industry. They would even make their way in our tents they can cut nylon and nothing and no one was safe nor sacred when it came to them. If you stepped in their nests which where everywhere then they would bite you which was no fun. But I do have much respect for those guys and their teamwork method. They sure know how to get a job done.

The next day we hiked down to the waterfall that was all uphill on the way back in the intense sun. There were vines we could swing on like tarzan which was pretty fun and colored rocks to use as chalk to write our messages of love to the planet on. I saw toads and frogs and one   jumped into my hair. I saw a toucan to, pretty cool, they are very goofy birds and not the most graceful either. I loved the gourmet raw food there to yummy and creative. Well not the arugula leaves to bitter and nasty for me. But the creative dips and banana avocado papaya choco pudding, with goose berries on the side. Or a spikey fruit that tasted like lemon merange pie I think it was called a biddyba. I loved the heart of palm and the pure sugar canes. Then there where to Sopates that had amazing smooth seeds it looked just like an avocado only it was brownish orange on the inside and tasted like pumkin pie. They had bananas of every color my favorite where the red ones. All the bananas seemed to taste like cinnamon to me. They’re was this long bean looking fruit that when you opened it, which took some strength, and strategy had seeds in there that were covered in this velvety white stuff that tasted just like vanilla ice cream. We as humans love to take the credit and pride ourselves on coming up with these things but the truth is nature has already thought of it all Anastasia was right. Case in point Edison who invented the light bulb where nature had light before that, the lightning bug and the creatures of the deep sea who have their own impressive flouriest light shows.  Nature never sues copyrights or trademarks its technology.

The following day i met up with my friends from the UK Nando, Klaudea and little Layo they came out to the ranch for a visit. They hosted me when I went to England as well and are avid travellers so we love trying to meet up with each other when our travel plans sync up and overlap. It just so happened that we where in Costa Rica at the same time and when I told them about the raw food retreat they where game to meet up. Our host was not there when they arrived so we had no vehicle to collect my friends you need a specific vehicle to go up or down the driveway as its very taxing on a car it can put lots of damage and ware and tare on it like I said before. So me Al and Sophia had to walk all the way up the drive which was straight up very steep and went on like that for 1 kilometer. When we got to the top to collect them we collected their luggage and food and helped in what ever way we could with the little Layo he was too small to walk it on his own so Nando carried him but cause it was so steep we all had to lean back as we walked cause if you fell you would not be able to stop. We walked slowly and carefully Sophias feet were not doing well they had lots of blisters and so she walked barefoot I have no idea how she was able to do that. Good thing my friends are very fun and positive couple, that they where cool for doing such a hike but really we had no choice only choice we did have was our attitude. Their attitude is really good in general though they have a little one that does not stop them from traveling which I found really inspiring again another great example of how life can be and making it work. Now I can see that for an option in my life when I have kids to travel with them to. Lilou Mace has a dream to have project that funds kids to travel and learn about other countries and cultures to remove bias and judgment and see how similar we all really are. For me traveling is the best education one can get, its priceless what I have learned about myself and who I am when I travel not to mention all the magic and synchronicities that happen along the way. Later that day Me Al Sophia Neil and Nando went down to see Amy. For those of you that do not know about Amy she is a woman who left her life as a musician in new york and went to live out in nature in Costa Rica. She is said to be living the closest way to Anastasia that is known. She lives off the land poops in the jungle and uses little to no technology her story and wisdom is impressive here is a video about her if you would like to learn more.



 and we all went to see Amy. After she shared her speech which I knew she must have shared over one hundred times already, she gave us some of her food like the fruit from a cashew nut. It was a very tasty sweet fruit, the cashew however was not inside it but on top of it looking like a stem, and this stem is not good to touch in fact there is specific complex way to get the cashew nut out safely from the stems protective outer layor and I found myself suddenly respecting even more all the people that come up to you selling their cashews that they had extracted on their own.

 What can I say about Amy I found her to be a wonderful loving woman, I loved hearing her story and her way of life. Though when I got to meet her finally in person things had changed she was now in a relationship and he knew of the things she did but was more into the conspiracy aspect of it though that is fine to start I always advice people to not stay there long lest it turn into a pot hole of obsession that becomes very hard to get out of and such energy can bring others down with the rain of fear and doom always being brought up. Her new partner was not to keen on living the Anastasia way so he brought in a fridge and built a bathroom on Amy’s property I believe her when she says its not hers and she does not use it but I am a bit concerned that when others travel out to visit her and see all that it may harm her credibility and examples like her are very important to maintain right now. The other thing was at that time when I was there Amy was hosting a monk/lama from Tibet he was given talks in the same manor that I do though he did not seem so keen to share nor like the pedestal that he was on and constantly wanted others to look inside themselves for the answers to their questions. I think the lama might have felt awkward being on the pedestal as people felt he know more then them. We all really bonded with Amy she was happy to know she was in the presence of like minds guess most people who go to see her just she as entertainment or something. I really wanted to talk to Amy privately about the many things I observed but alas it was not to be.

We did lots of hikes to the waterfalls sometimes it would rain which was awesome to me cause then these little frogs where everywhere and i am talking little like smaller then your fingernail. Wow there is so much up hill walking here but its good my legs are getting stronger because of it, I do not seem to mind it as much as everyone else does. I love the sound of the howler monkeys and the toucans going about their day.

The following day my mom and steve arrived. I was pretty sure mom would love the place but Steve, not so much, there are no girls after all nor a beach and no sign of cooked food for miles away. He was also not to pleased with me when I told him he could not bring chemicals of any kind, not even hair gel he responded with, “no I need my hair gel I am going to bring it anyway despite what you say.” Steve I said you’re in a jungle who do you need to look good for when you first see them the monkeys? I explained to him its important as in this place everything is pristine and the want to keep it that way. The water from the water fall is ok to drink but would it be after everyone swam in it with hair gel in their hair? Steve was silent for a bit thinking of some way to rationalize to me how it was no big deal so he would get his way I know him well to do something like that is classic Steve. Finally he said Ah Jess every time I think we are going to do something cool with you, you always manage to include your hippy ways and I have to suffer from second hand hippy condition. This is Steve’s humor and it made me laugh and he laughed to I said you will have fun you will see pretend your on survivor or something.   I was looking forward to some family bonding its been almost 2 years since i last saw them. They where set to arrive the following day and Amy and Bill had invited us to all go to the towns market and check it out as it’s a great place to meet fellow awakened people in the area. I considered it but I felt it would be better to stay behind to welcome my family. I was proud that they had successfully managed to make it out to me, I had no idea mom was studying Spanish before she left and she had done exceptionally well in a short amount of time. I embraced my family and we caught up on our lives. I was excited to show my family around the property my mom was taken with all the beauty of the place not to mention all the plant life and cluster of humming birds. I took them down to the waterfall for a much needed swim after surviving the hike. Me and Steve went in no problem but mom was hesitant I did not know that she had a fear of drowning me and Steve did our best to get her over her fear but it took a bit. When we got back my family got to try the food it was star fruit gooseberries and some assorted of heavy dips with heavy salads topped with a dessert was a blended banana, papaya and avocado with some cinnamon it was deeelish after that my dear friends from the UK left but not with out me sneaking an interview with Nando about his book he wrote. They sent it to me 2 months before our Costa Rica trip where I got a chance to read it and give a testimonial. Its fun to read a book and seeing where things you spoke about was added into the book as a helpful suggestion. A book like this is needed for people who need a practical step by step exercises to get to a more balanced life. It has very helpful hints and tips. For more information about Nando and his book

We ended the night with everyone stuffed in on tent playing card games and just being silly. Sophie taught us a game and I shared a game that me and my friends invented that’s pretty fun.

The next day Al and Sophia Left as their time at the ranch had come to an end. That day we were informed that there would be a tour of the ranch with some guest from The Farm of Life its another raw food retreat that I was originally planning to stay with my family but it was way too much money a night so we choose this place. After the tour we all went to Amy’s to hear the Lama speak. Mom and steve loved her property and the breath taking view. Steve really enjoyed the wisdom of the lama though it was very hard to know what he was saying with his accent and the loud calls of the toucan in the background. At the end of the conference steve went up and asked the Lama for some advice about his life and what he should do. The lama told him to keep growing. To which I responded oh no your 6’5 no more growing for you steve. After the conference things started to go awry as I was starting to feel like that I did not want to stay at this raw food the retreat another 3 weeks I thought it would be good to have steve meet younger people and to check out the beach. Things where starting to be uncomfortable to my family felt it to so we decided we would stay another 4 days and then leave when I told our host this he was most upset and said that there is a 20% cancelation policy. I was upset that he was going to charge my family more for canceling. I started to share some things happening there that I was not happy with such as him charging my friends from the UK double and making them bring and carry their own food on a 1 kilometer hike down a steep hill with a young child not to mention their bags to. When I recommend and suggest a place for my friends I expect respect and for my guests basic needs to be met, after all I am responsible when I suggest a place for others. Not to mention how controlling he was in the kitchen or not even there at all so we would have to fend for ourselves and when we did we would get heck for using the cocoa beans and he would want to charge us for that but non of us knew the cocoa nibs were off limits for the guests. He also did not feed us enough and the portions where a bit pathetic at times and we often went to bed starving. He also constantly kicked us out of the main area the kitchen that had enough room for us to all hang out and play cards he just did not want us to be there so he could call his girlfriend on skype non of us appreciated him forcing us all to dismiss at 7pm and have no where to hang out but a small cramped tent. Then there was the way they where treating Neil the volunteer over working him not feeding him enough and treating him poorly it was hard to watch. That was when Neil stepped in and started sharing his beef and I left as I did not want any more conflict I really do not like it. I left right when it started to pour and when the thunder was sharing its two cents and nature’s exclamation point lightning made her dramatic appearance to suite the mood of the moment. I did not have my flash light so I waited for the flash of the lighting light to show me the path and ensure their where no snakes slithering on the ground that I was about to tread. I made it back to my families tent and spent the night with them. I spoke to them about the place and their thoughts and feelings about it and what we should do with the politics we all felt we where fine as long as we had Niel. Steve surprised me by saying he actually really liked the place.

I woke up with a slap on my arm from my mom because I was misbehaving in her dream. I still do not get her logic oh well at least Steve thought it was funny. I went back to sleep only to be awakened 2 hours later with Neil tapping on the tent saying I just wanted to say good bye im leaving I was fired my taxi will be here in an hour. When I heard this news I blurted out we are going with you we can be ready and all be packed up in an hour and split your cab. Now why did I decide this so fast when I could have waited at least another 4 days until after Easter, but something did not sit right about me and my family being here trapped in this place with out Neil a phone or possibly connection to internet again I was responsible I had to make sure we could get out and leave if we needed to with out him robbing us or with holding our belongings or something who knows. So I asked my family if they wanted to go they said it was up to me so I decided then we should go. Thinking back now I wish we stayed till after the holidays it was not easy to leave that place since it was so stunning and in many ways perfect. I feel I took my family away too premature they just got there after all. But mom was having a hard time doing the long hikes everyday to the camp to the kitchen and bathroom and not having much to eat not sure if that was good for her headaches. I later heard from the grape vine that this place had a bad reputation and many are trying to shut it down as most everyone that goes here leaves upset I had no idea I choose it cause my friends suggested it and it was raw non commercial and Anastasia oriented. It was sad for me to meet someone who was raw living off the grid and following Anastasias teachings but still was so unconscious about many things I thought that doing these things would certainly make you more integral. Al had spoken to our host about all this to and nothing had registered at all he was too stubborn and closed to see that he was the problem not each one of his guests. This was all very sad as this place had great potential and an amazing vision. I wonder why places like this do not make it even if they read the Anastasia books? Is something still missing? I contemplated all this as I went to the kitchen making sure I did not leave anything there from there I could see our host heading to the camp to talk to my family. Apparently my mom was in the middle of changing she was in her bra and underwear when he came down saying you know you guys do not have to leave just cause Jess is leaving. My poor mom just stood there frozen in time as he continued to talk paying no attention to the awkward moment as she is very nervous about anyone seeing her body. All though I was sad to take my family from that place and still am as I write this I try to struggle past this feelings in order to get it all out, I am also proud of myself for standing up for everyone and being more assertive then I have ever been before I usually take lots of shizer from people so as to avoid any conflict but it was clear I had changed and now had a good sense of boundaries and by leaving the way we did was a matter of principle and maybe it would be the thing to get through to him when all words had failed.

Chapter 6 San Isidroe

The hotel that we escaped to was pre selected by our host when he fired Neil. There was enough room for all of us. It was very shocking to go from spending 8 days in peaceful nature to a loud ugly smelly city, I was somewhat depressed with the extreme change of scenery and the bars on all the windows and doors did not help either.  After we got settled we decided to wonder the town for some food. It was the worst time to leave our ranch as it was the holidays and the town was dead nothing was open not even places to get food except fast food joints like MacDonalds we did finally find this one place that gave us the many options of beans or rice which is apparently their nations dish I was not too thrilled as I could not decide which one I thought was worse. There was little to no raw options just a salad that was not the happiest salad wilted greens indeed. The next day was even worse still everything was closed down even the place we went to the other day and the streets had strange parades where people where weeping on the streets for Christ it was very odd so we decided to get the heck out of this town as soon as we could the buses we not going to be running this day or the next and we did not want to stay here any longer. Steve managed to find some joy from this one ice cream shop that was always open I think he stayed open just for Steve as he knew he would come and indulge. Frustrated that there where no busses we all decided that we would pay a bit extra for a cab to get us out of here. But Neil could not come with us as he had stayed longer in the country then he should have and had to do a border run to Panama he would do this with Bill who was Amys partner. I should add that she was informed what happened at the ranch and sided with us and thus was with us every step of the way helping us in what ever way she could. Neil was only planning to spend a day in Panama and then come back to Costa Rica and find another community based retreat where he could exchange work for a place to stay and one day raise a family on. This was his focus and goal and nothing would deter him from it. So we bid him adou and went out our way to our next destination.

Chapter 7 Dominical

Dominical was a night and day difference from San Isidore, the energy was way better here everything was open, we where out by the beach and everything was hip and happening. Our cab driver though was a bit of a venial cur in that he over charged us and lied to us about our hostel he tried to say that the hostel we where going to was all booked up ya right how would he know. He said I will take you to one that has space of course it was super pricey we found out later that cab drivers do this as they are in cahoots with the hotels and for costumers they bring they get a percentage.  Good thing someone from our hostel came out to collect us. Our hostel was incredible we absolutely loved it. It was outside there where no walls and it was right beside the beach so we could here the ocean waves tell its tale. There was a small roof to protect us from the rain and no rooms just bunk beds everywhere with mesh mosquito netting which was just perfect. But not so much for steve he had to take a single bed as he could not share one like me and mom could and well Steve Being the giraffe that he is broke a couple boards on the top bunk making me worry that he might crash down on us in the middle of the night. I thought my mom would be concerned about privacy but she was not she loved the place with all the young-uns running amuck. There where also lots of really attractive people here from all over the world.  Me and Steve where eager to do some surfing but where a bit sad to learn that its not safe at all to surf there especially for beginners. Even swimming in there was not safe no matter how close you where to the shore there where rip currents that could pull you under and back where it took 40 minutes just to get out of the water some people are not as lucky as the water can grab you under and push you far out to sea then you’re a goner. There where many fatalities here I learned to great how comforting.

We spent our first day in Dominical just walking around and exploring the area sipping peapa’s along the way (fresh coconut water served right out of the shell). Even though we did not do that much it was still a really nice day.  On the next day I decided to take the family to hacienda baru, so steve could finally see some monkeys. It was a wild life park after all. Here is the thing that I found most annoying about Costa Rica is that it is so touristy to the point that its not even authentic anymore. For example to go the park to see animals you have to pay about $12 person but that does not mean you will see the animals as most of them hide pretty good. So they charge you $30 per person to have a guide its most annoying in this way cause it is like it everywhere which really is not worth it. So we did not want to take a guide as we where on a tight budget of $600 each that had to last us 17 days. At Hacienda baru we did not see much their butterfly garden only had like 6 different butterflies that we had already seen at the raw retreat. We walked many hours in that park and saw nothing except for lizards but those things are everywhere. So after trekking the jungle and seeing nothing we decided to hike in the direction of the beach. Right at the cross paths there where some white face monkeys they where everywhere, we could not touch them but at least we could see them and they where beautiful we watched them for a while as they were showing off for all the tourists.

After that we continued onto the beach where we met some locals having a family picnic they where not trying to sell anything they where just enjoying the beach with their kids and cutting open baby coconuts to get the water and tender meat. As we watched them they kindly offered us some, there is nothing like fresh coconut water its nice to know no sugar was added artificially. As we sat and enjoyed the peapa water mom used this opportunity to practice her Spanish on them and I did to but moms was much better then mine. So after awhile I just showed them some of my videos on my phone like pekoe my cat using the toilet, which they found, quit fascinating and called the rest of their family to see it. Meanwhile steve had seemed to disappear I later learned that he was taken into the jungle to learn how to climb a palm tree and collect coconuts. We really bonded with that family it was real nice because it was authentic. Since my Spanish was still not up to par I found other ways to communicate like body language, which they found hilarious. Steve found a hermit crab and put it down my shirt and when I fished it out of my top I dropped it down moms shirt again our local family erupted in laughter. They kept sharing their food with us though the locals here are extremely poor and some can only make a dollar a day here they are sharing all their food with us. I am always impressed to see how happy and generous most people are when they have nothing. We then risked the water and went for a dip the current was still a bit strong and there was a struggle to get out of the water but we managed. After that we left and headed back to our hostel to get all cleaned up and grab some dinner. The place we choose for dinner was apparently a happening bar by night and they where going to party tonight and hold a bikini contest it was suggested I enter at first I declined but they kept asking so I thought oh what the heck.  As it turned out I did not go thru with it since it took place on what is known as tiko time which is when ever they feel like it and I grew impatient and was sleepy plus I did not like the idea of having the attention or confirmation from random strangers comparing my body to another I rather just have one man that has my heart ogle my body then many. It turned out that I made the right decision cause all the sequins had come off my bikini and migrated all over my Thais. That would have been embarrassing.

The next day we where determined not to go to a touristy area so as we where walking around we met some people who are living in costa rica but are from the states they where awakened but only with the conspiracy understanding aware of all the problems and deception but not the solutions non the less we had a good chat with them and they ended up offering to take us to the local water fall with them it was just for the American locals and the best part was it was free, where as other waterfalls ranged from $40 and up. This was a really nice waterfall to so very refreshing and no crazy currents. This water fall also had a rope swing which little 6-8 year olds where having a grand old time with. Steve went on it a couple of times and I went on it once. I wanted mom to have a go on it again always trying to help people get out of their comfort zone and steve following my lead. After much talk mom finally agreed only if someone was there to collect her in the water to make sure she did not drown. She did not hold onto the rope long enough for her hands where not strong enough to hold her body weight so she let go a bit early on. I was filming it all and from my screen it looked like she had hit the rocks and could be really hurt, thank goodness she just missed them and she came out of the water and turned over on her back and did the breast stroke with out steve though he was there near by just in case lest she start to squawk. She swam perfectly and effortlessly, even though we where relieved happy and proud. here we were also somewhat annoyed. We felt like here she was acting all helpless but could swim just fine no problem and we wondered how much does she do this. me and steve did not understand why she felt the need to do this. We just wanted to have fun and be silly if we would tease or bug mom she would get upset about it or take it personal not sure why she was like that either. I guess even though when we think we can’t do something when push comes to shove we find we actually can do it. Mom on the other hand was proud of her rope swing experience as she watched herself over and over on the video camera.  We managed to get a ride back with a family but they did not take us all the way just a couple blocks we did not think it would be a bad walk well no sooner where we dropped off and the car sped away did it start to rain. We where only in the rain for 10 seconds and we where soaked from head to toe as we where running back to our hostel some cops came and collected us and offered us a ride back to our hostel I guess they where wanted to rescue some damsels in distress only thing is they where a bit too late as we where already right in front of our hostel.   We showered up and called it a night but not before waiting for a bit like a wet chicken for the bathroom which was my only qualm about this hostel it only had one toilet and one shower in one room and  20 other people to share it with. We stayed in Dominical one more day had a chill day staying near the hostel and beach before we continued off to our next destination Monteverde. In total we had stayed 4 days in Dominical and we loved every moment of it especially our hostel called Pyramas.


Chapter 8 Monteverde & La fortuna

6am we caught our bus to San Jose we had planend to make a brief stop there to see Sophie and her family and so we could lighten our load rather then lugging obnoxious suitcases. We where only going to take a small backpack each. It was also planned that we would spend one night there with them, they fed us a nice home cooked meal and we played some Nintendo and did some visiting and chatting with the family. It was an exciting night to be there cause Sophia’s dad was going to be on tv that night talking about what his company was doing to save the marsh. Shortly after we all went to bed and awoke early the next day to catch our bus.  We decided on Monteverde as most of the people where recommending it all the tourists in our hostel in dominical where heading there to, it seemed to be the highlight for people who had been to Costa Rica before apparently cause of the cloud forest so that is why we chose it. The bus ride was pretty crazy because the bus was old and rickety and could barely make it up the steep hills with out going backwards a bit not to mention the traffic where everyone drives haphazardly. Then there is the worry of how high up on the mountians we our on a very narrow road that does not look stable and looks like the road could give out at anytime and our bus would plumit to an intense drop. Then there was the live collapsed powerline live wire on the road that held us up for a bit. Their solution was to hoist it on a crane raise it just pass the bus and have us drive carefully under the live wire. The bus ride did not bother me so much but I know it did mom she was most nervous even though I sat with her and did some catching up, some mother daughter bonding and some cuddling. 4 hours later we arrived at Monteverde. We set off to find a hostel and after about an hour of walking around we finially settled on a really nice one with a sky kitchen after getting settled we explored the town more. I wanted to do a night tour cause I really wanted to see animals and most of them where nocturnal so a night tour would be our best bet. We ended up seeing a green diamond head viper it was very poisonus, a trantuala, a couple of armadillos, a coidie which is a costa rician version of a raccoon that has a long tail long nose and red like fur. We saw various bugs that light up. A giant black hornet that is the worst enemy for trantualas as it like to land on them but it stinger into its head where it releases its babies to eat the spider on the inside. We also saw a giant stick bug that felt velveteen. We did not find any sloths or frogs. That is why the next day after mom went to the orchid garden we went to a place where we could see many exotic frogs sadly frogs where disappearing in costa rica at an alarming rate. We did also go to the rain forest threw her no animals there but the plant life there was incredible and most exotic things that where hard for mom to grow in BC where growing like weeds there. Me and mom started talking about girl things and I heard a grown from steve as he said to himself its not easy being a steve having to hear about woman things being the only guy. The next day we let steve pick an activity he chose the extreme zip livening which spanned from long distances high up in the air we zipped higher then the birds in the sky and even did the superman where you are hooked in on your back and so you can fly across just like super man which was very exlierating. They also did this long drop for us to which I looked down as I was falling and ther was steve at the bottom with a stick ready to poke my bum with it. When I got down I grabbed a stick and got ready to poke moms bum with it. We also did the tarzan swing which was pretty scary I did scream for this one tho it was very fun. Then when that was all done we went back to our hostel on our way back I was so excited to see a sloth on the wires just scaling them and occasionally hanging upside down by one toe waving to us and posing for pictures. Sloths are very friendly and love humans they love hugs to and get sad when you have to put them down and leave them. They are like the Costa Rican version of a kuala bear. and watched  a movie I showed my family my new all time favorite movie which I highly recommend called dangerious beauty it’s a true story that took place in the 1500’s in Venis Italy its about the famous poet and cortizan Veronica Franco. The writing is excellent, actors our surpurp the movie is so intelligent and has incredible poetry. It is also an awakened film which is refreshing to us. Steve at first was not so keen to watch a chick flick but ended up really liking it. I was not surprised as I do not know anyone who has seen this movie and not liked it even Goose liked it when I showed it to him.

The next day we caught a bus to la fortuna, it was another crazy bus ride but did time we had made plans to also take a boat the other half of the way. This boat ride was one of the highlights of our time in La fortuna. We just had lots of fun taking pictured of us with a looming perfect giant volcano in the distance. Arriving at our destination we where not impressed the place was smelly polluted and was covered in garbage we where not sure how clean our rooms where and people where smoking and drinking everywhere we decided to not stay here long at all just go to the hot springs spend one night and head back first thing in the morning for the last 4 days in san jose with sophies family. Again the price for the hot springs was like 70 dollars so we asked around and learned about a free one that locals go to. It was really hot water on black charcoal rocks we sat in there enjoying the healing benefits and drinking a cold beverage. We only had an hour to enjoy it which was not enough but better then nothing. This bus ride I sat with steve and him and me really bonded on this trip we are more closer then we had ever been. I was most proud of the man he has become and get exited about his potential and am most curious to see what he will end up doing. I think mom and steve are starting to get a better idea of what I do and how so many respect me which is helping them to understand me better. Though to steve he says everytime I see you jess you get weirder and weirder but I love you just the same.

And just like that my time in Coasta Rica with the family had ended. Time to get back to reality. Its always hard to say good bye to my family or to even just explain to them that I am going away for longer then they think and for them to understand why this is important. Its not easy for my family to understand my ways reasons and actions, one day perhaps they will though. 

warm embrace laced in grace

thank you for you being you


make fear, the unknown, truth, and ur imagination ur friend not ur enemy and you will experience a new kind of reality. remember when u were a kid all the imaginary friends you had now your an adult and u only have imaginary enemies they were once your friends when you were kids, you made them the enemy not them, and only you can reverse this in the backwards world you live in. only you can make them your friends again. then you will understand just how much this world is your creation you created it all, what you love, what you hate what you struggle with and how its enslaved us all. only you can change the reality matrix game.

Author: Jessica Schab

Memoirs of a Former Mystic - Blogs I've written many blogs but the series about my time in Bali, Indonesia, when my radical changes took place, is what has garnered the most curiosity and acclaim. In it, I share everything about that process from beginning to end and in great detail, so that others can get to know me and better understand what I am about. My Bali Blog series is an exploration of my own personal confusion towards rational thinking that has helped myself and others to see our own cognitive dissonance. It exposes the many things that we hide from ourselves and why. ​I highly suggest to read the blogs in order, from part 1 to 5. Otherwise, it will be hard to understand the content. I myself am shocked to realize that I had no idea how conditioned and problematic my spiritual beliefs were until I wrote these blogs; how they affected every aspect of my life and created so many unnecessary problems, making me so afraid to even dare to think or imagine my life and who I was without them. I can see now the contradictions I had to want to understand, watching these elements fight within me, planting mine fields of self-destruction in my mind when I forced myself to think without spiritual beliefs that acted like a drug for me, often times taking over my mind and thinking for me. How could I get myself to stop protecting these beliefs? Such a question led me to understand why others are so keen to choose irrationality instead of logic when it comes to their ideologies. It's one of the many reasons that led to me speaking up about why I am so concerned about this movement and the dangers of these beliefs. I would describe my changes as a massive tidal wave; a tsunami sweeping me and everything I was familiar with away. I honestly do not think I would have made it had I not learned how to surf my psyche. You would think the tidal wave would be the worst of it, right? So did I. I can say it’s not the case. You can ask people who have experienced a massive tsunami or any natural disaster and they will tell you the worst part is actually the aftermath; dealing with the dramatic shift, and in my case the psychological changes. How does one go on after something like that? What next? It’s not like one can go back to how things used to be and forget it ever happened; the experience echoes in your bones. It’s futile and insane to rebuild the old and familiar in your psyche and to encourage former hopes and beliefs. Especially because it often is what beckoned and fuelled the tsunami to begin with. When you get to the root, you must start completely new so as not to recreate the past. ​Ha! Easier said than done! So, these blogs are also an invitation and challenge to detect what is confusion and what is fact. To have people ask themselves: Are my beliefs thinking for me? It becomes more apparent and easier to pinpoint and reduce one's conditioned thinking when one finishes the whole series in order. Then, one can see their own results on how they scored with detecting and exploring their own cognitive biases.​ Best of luck. ​Enjoy and please let me know what you think :-)

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