After I got off the plane, I was greeted by the cold and snow. I did not call anyone to come and get me because when I come home from my little trips, I want to be on my own for a bit to process all that has transpired. I had to take three buses to get home. I missed the second bus, so I had to wait about 40 minutes in the cold. After being in the desert in Sedona and LA, this was a real shock for my body. Thank goodness I brought my winter coats by accident. I was even more grateful that I was not successful in trying to MacGyver my coats back home before I flew out.
I have been watching that show a lot with my family, and since then I have had the strong desire to play MacGyver with my 16 year old brother or on my own. The theme song often plays in my head, and I get lost in the world of pretend, though sometimes it is good when my MacGyver plans do not work.
Home Sweet Home
On the bus ride back, I was thinking how I could not wait to cuddle my Momma Bear and burrow into her warm bed like some kind of groundhog, Oh, and how excited I would be to see my not-so-little 6’4” brother, Steve. I came home to our little apartment to find Momma with a bad headache. This is hard see because the reason I became a healer was to help my mother. As my talents grew, I was crushed to learn that I could not help her. I am unsure what to think about this and what my father meant when he said that she will be healed. How will she be healed? Maybe you guys know what I can do to help her?
I did not get to mention her much in the interview. She was very supportive and understanding when my dad started going “out there.” Most women would have left but not my mom. She loved her man and stuck by him and learned to understand what he was going through. She has been very supportive and encouraging to me, and I love her a good deal, so much so that I am still at home with her. Sometimes I feel like a fat overgrown bird in the little nest who wants to move to bigger nest and take her family with her. I guess many think I should be on my own, but when you have lost as many family members as I have, you want to be with your family as much as you can. You never know how long you will have them for.
I do not want to leave them, but neither do I want to enable them by helping too much. There is a real fine line to this that I am working to better understand. The place we live is a tiny apartment with two bedrooms–one room for my brother and the other for my mom. I wanted them to have their own rooms because it is important to them. Sometimes I will sleep on the couch with my mom or on my brother’s bunk-bed, but it is pretty creaky, and I think at any moment it might collapse and I will be made into a sandwich. My guides are chiming in and wanting me to say that the meek shall inherit the Earth!
We want to move, but right now we make just enough to get by, just like so many of us out there. We can’t seem to, though, and this little shoe box is all we could get at the last minute after being homeless. We actually got it only because my guides told me to go to a church for help, tell them what they wanted to hear, and then leave. I was not using them or anything. It is just a game. It seems that people will help you only if you believe what they do. I am not sure where the unconditional love is in all this!
I should probably tell you guys that my best friend is Christian, and we get along very well. It baffles people when they find out how different we are but also how much we are the same. She does not yet fully know about me. We do not talk about this part of me, but we just respect one another and our beliefs. Her name is Melissa, which is the same name as my sister.
I came home to some very sad news from my mom. Apparently, it happened only a few days after I left. They did not tell me was because they did not want to ruin my trip, and they were right to do so. My cat, Princess Peaky Bear, had died. She just stopped breathing. Those who read my blogs know about my losing my other cat, Mr. Orange, a week prior to leaving, I wrote a eulogy about him called Eko, but it is not in the poem area yet. Peaky Bear was my cat and Mr. Orange was my dad’s cat. Orange was our last connection to Dad. Peaky was very special to me, and I do not really know how to take such news, so I will not talk about it yet.
Project Camelot News
The next day, I had some old dear friends show up early in the morning. I answered the door very dishevelled, and they just told me how they felt compelled to see me and get back in touch with me. They felt that something huge had happened to me during my trip and felt that it was important that I now help them remember what they once knew. Right after they left, Kerry wrote to me and told me my Project Camelot interview was now out!
I was taken aback by the amount of hits my interview got in a short amount of time and by all the people writing to me. Interesting thing, though, right before my video went up, Project Camelot was attacked and taken down for a bit, but they got back on. I am not sure if I was the reason for this attack or if this happened because of all the people they have interviewed.
I have gotten letters from people pouring out their heart to me and guys wanting to date me and people sending me their own links. I have gotten a movie role offer and people saying that I am silly to think we can overcome the Illuminati with love. Well for the record, I only had an hour to share. There was still so much more to say. It is important for all of you to know that my message is no mere speculation. My ideas have been proven by my own experiences and by those of others who try them out.
There is talk that I might go on the Coast to Coast AM radio show and get to share the rest. It is odd to pour out your heart to the world and then feel like “OK, now what, Jessica? How do you take this to next level, and what is the best way to help your beloved humanity?” I have given my life to this question. I eat, sleep, and breathe this question. If you meet me in person, you will see this.
It is also strange to have all your wisdom in poem form and have the most looked at poem be the one about the sexual goddess. All of these poems are teaching tools, and I will even use sexual connotation to get someone’s attention and then lace it with enlightenment. There are also lots of poems, though, that do not have that, and those are ones that do not get as many hits. This saddens me.
I have made myself available to the people via text messaging, and some of the people who contact me are guys who want to hook up. If you are one of those people and you are reading this, I just want to say that you are not in love with me but with how I make you feel about yourself. Too many are in love with the idea of being in love. They need to learn how to know and love themselves; otherwise, how can they ever expect anyone to know and love them? They and their partner will always unconsciously bring this to the forefront.
As for my looks, they are just my “vehicle,” like a car. We need to see beyond all this. There is so much more to us as people, and I will also work to make this more apparent and give more attention to the inner. I will not stop beaming unconditional love and light to all of you from my eyes and auric light because so many are suffering from a love deficiency. I do this in hopes that others will follow suit and not assume we are only caring because we want to hook up.
Yes, I am single, and I am single because I want to be. I am not looking for anyone because I am way too focused on my mission. I care far more about the world right now than about having a partner. I hope that you all understand where I am coming from and what I am trying to get across. Let us turn our attention and hearts to humanity. I have given my heart to all of them, and they all seem to know that as they recognize me. They know and feel the familiarity of my soul and eyes. I astral travel to them all, comforting and inspiring them.
I am not saying that I am not interested in having a family one day. I feel there is no higher honor than carrying a soul in one’s womb and having that special connection with it. I will know the one for me because I sent him a special telepathic message that only he will know. This is not to different from the lovers’ unspoken language of deep knowing and trusting, so much so that you do not even need to look. You are lost in the joys of your life mission and passion and—poof!—they come into your life.
Now on to other thoughts. Since yesterday, I have been lost in contemplation about what comes next. I have been wondering how to stay in touch with all the people who have come to me. I have been told that sooner or later I will have to stop. After all, how do you respond to thousands of letters? I am thinking there must be a smarter way, so I have decided to ask my dear ones to see what they can come up with. There is talk about a podcast and live talks and bringing you all together, but how I can do that and who can help? I am unsure yet.
The thing is, guys, technology is merely a set of training wheels for what we can do on our own. My guides always tell me we do not need technology. In fact, everything in nature and technology mirrors what people who are connected and awake can do on their own. It is important for us to step into our power with this. If all the technology gets taken away, then that will be a perfect opportunity to see that a cell phone (which I do not have) is really just telepathy, and the Internet is the neural netting of our brains interlinked. Right now, the Internet is something like a primitive version of the akashic records, and C.T. scans do what many psychics do who can see inside the body and know what the person needs. Snakes use hypnosis, and other animals know how to cryogenically freeze themselves. Animals and plants are also fragmented versions of us.
I was thinking about getting a camera and doing a lightworker reality show where people could witness the synchronicities taking place in my life. I am also really open to what all of you have in mind. I want to help put them all together and bring them to the forefront, but if you want to be a part of this, you have to e-mail me your project/ vision/idea and your contact information. However, I feel like we are far beyond this because when we all get together, things will never be the same. It’s like I said in my video about the return of God’s sun being us. If you do send me an e-mail, make sure that the subject heading says “project” or “idea.” That way, I can sift through my e-mail easier.
I just got off with the phone with someone I have been trying to reach for a long time. I cannot believe that she called me. I went blank for a long time, but that did not matter because she felt me, and I got past her test filter process. She knew I was the one to bring the young ones together, but I would not do this alone. There will be four others from other countries as well, but these details are not set in stone. I am sharing this because I feel that the ones who are to help me do this will be reading this and will feel within their core that this is them, and I will know you when I talk with you.
There is also talk of a book, but to be honest, I think we are far past this, and we are running out of time. Perhaps I can arrange to get a time transplant or something? Most of my message is really in my life, not so much my experiences but how I have been taught to see things and my relationship “self talk” with myself and my guides. I would like to share my story in such a way that has never been done before. In fact, I already wrote this book, but only I can read it, so I think I might look into finding a ghost writer or something.
Whatever I do next is never clear to me until the moment it happens. My guides love to work at the last minute and surprise me. I am sure, though, it will be something not done before because I do not like clichés. As Einstein said, “The problems that exist in the world today cannot be solved by the level of thinking that created them.” Creativity must rule here as it has been used for survival purposes for too long. I am sure that we have not been given this gift merely for our survival.
Some people might be disappointed with my Project Affiliations page, saying those ideas are too small to make a real change. Ah, my dears! You need to understand that a suicide is made up of a thousand tiny sorrows. So many want to do big things, and yes we will, but it is important to also do small things like one thousand uplifting loving acts. I share what we can do now to help ourselves and others that will greatly help with the shift. These projects may seem small, but damn they are powerful! We must do what we can in everyday life, no matter how small. That is the way. We are love containers, and it is up to us how much we wish to dispense in every moment of our life. As Alex Collier’s Andromedan friend once said, “The love you withhold is the pain that you carry.”
The holidays are near, and I am not really a holiday person. I find it annoying that every year we do the same things and get lost in routines. I would much rather see us invent new holidays on new days or make everyday special or even adopt other countries’ and cultures’ holidays. Growing up, we never could afford Christmas, so we invented “Basket Day” when we would give gifts to one another and when it was convenient for us and not the stores.
These upcoming holidays will be interesting because for the first time in a long time my two other brothers, Lee and Forrest, will be coming. My oldest brother, Lee, is getting his master’s degree in mechanical engineering at Jesus College, Cambridge. He is one smart sea horse, a genius. He gets it from my mom’s side. My dad was a genius, too, but more in the right-brained, abstract artist way. My brother Lee sees me as a hippy loser because I did not get a degree or have a normal job or pursue money, but I did get a degree. I got the 3rd degree from him! My guides find the Earth concept of a degree rather silly. They call this planet a Harvard University for creators in training. Just to be here means that we are more than qualified. We have trained on so many other worlds to be here at this time. The people who remember these other worlds tend to think they are from there, but it was just a school preparing them for here.
My other brother, Forrest, is a white rapper who is getting rather famous in his own right. He has been to L.A. and Toronto and opened up for Blackalicious. I do not know who they are, but apparently they are famous. I think 50 Cent’s manager is his manager. Lol, in Canada 50 cents would be 75 cents. The interesting thing about my brother Forrest is that he has only recently found out about aliens and Zeitgeist and stuff like that. It is funny how is he is now saying, “Oh my gosh, Jess, Dad was right.” I said to him, “Oh really? That’s new, Forrest. I have been trying to tell you this for years.” We all have our triggers at different times.
I see my family of five siblings as a fragmented soul that said, “OK, we will need experience in the academic world. Lee can do that. Sister Melissa will dance and party and check out rather early in life to work on the other side. Jessica can go the mystical route. Forrest will go the gruff gangsta rapper route, and Steve will be a giraffe and will be the sum total of the older four. Together, we make a hand of five that pick up whatever we need to. So it is perfect for our five souls to do it this way. A rain drop falls from the sky and splatters into smaller drops, which later find each other and become an ocean.
Unconditional love to all of you.
We are all here together! Understand that we need you here and that how you feel inside is a direct reflection of the world.