Jessica Schab

Bali Blog Series

My Across Canada & Eastern States Adventures

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My Across Canada & Eastern States Adventures

It all started with a simple advertisement on Plenty of Fish, a dating site. No, I was not looking to date anyone. My guides are funny. They told me, “Sign up there because there are certain souls that we will have drawn to you.” Alright, but first I will have to convince them that I am not there to hook up with anyone. Well, among the many who contacted me was this one guy with a rather sordid past who wanted me to come stay at his house with him and his two other friends. One of his friends was Canada’s ex-most wanted. They wanted me to come out to be the spokesperson and the missing piece to their projects/ programs.

Now had I listened to my mind, I definitely would not have gone. It sounds insane, but my intuition said otherwise, “Go. You will be fine. Things are not what they seem, and do not assume.” Well I did go, and I went to Narcotics Anonymous (NA) meetings because this is what they credited for turning their life around.  I sat and listened to these lovely souls speak about their hardships, and I could not help but admire them. I could not imagine going through all that, yet here they are, and one day they will be able to help so many from these experiences. To me, they are light in dark places. I was even taken to NA meetings in the worst part of Detroit where the White Castle restaurants had bulletproof glass.

I hung out with the addicts in this Black Muslim temple, and after hearing their stories I felt a connection to them. I saw that they were not horrible people. They were just in horrible situations. They told one story at the meetings that has stuck to me to this day. It goes like this:

There was this man trapped in a big hole who was crying “Help!” The first person to come by was a priest, and when he saw the man in the hole, he threw down the bible and continued on his way. Now the bible is not going to help you get out of a hole. Next came a lovely woman. She threw down her panties and continued on her way. Next came an addict, and when he saw the man in the hole, he immediately jumped in. When the man asked, “Why did you jump into the hole with me? What is wrong with you?” the other man responded, “It is OK. I have been here before, and together we can get out.”

This was the idea behind the project that I was to help with. We would empower these people and have them help others. We would set up this program in Windsor, Ontario. So when I went down there, I went to work on this.

I found all three of these men very respectful and rather lovely. Not once did they make me feel like something that needed to be claimed. When I hung out more with Canada’s ex-most wanted, I learned that he wanted me to help him tell his story. He wanted to write a book. See, he was a rarity in that he turned his whole life around. I met his parole officer, and she called him her miracle case. I chuckled when I learned that he wanted to call the book “How to Become a Successful Ex-Con.”

He became Canada’s most wanted because of a jewellery store robbery. The store clerk tackled him and the gun went off, killing this man. When I researched the story in different newspapers, I found that each paper said something different, and each was biased with major exaggeration. One paper said that he killed the clerk in cold blood, firing three bullets into his chest after getting his loot. Well, I know this was not true at all.

Then later when he was caught and put in jail, he escaped out of maximum security on Christmas day with three other guys. They tied all their bed sheets together and escaped out a window. My friend was the last one to be caught, and that is how he became Canada’s most wanted. I really found his story fascinating and wanted to share it. So many times when someone commits a crime, they are portrayed as bad, hopeless, and untrustworthy, and they need to locked away. But my friend was living proof that this is not always true.
So I went about helping them out with their projects, but I started getting frustrated. I saw them arguing with other people about their ideas for the new NA program. I saw that underlying all of their arguments was an attitude of “I’m right and you’re wrong.” This is very dangerous thinking. I am not sure what changed, but when I tried to warn them about this, they would not listen.
So I went off and focused my attention on yet again another job I was given: finding the cause of a morale problem at my friend’s company. When I interviewed the employees, I learned of their frustration with their boss (Canada’s ex-most wanted). It seemed that he ran the place like a prison, and the employees felt like prisoners. Now it was not that he was being a jerk; it is just when you have spent most of you life in prison it starts to seem normal. When I spoke to him about this, I found I could not get through to him. No words would suffice. I was very frustrated because nothing was moving forward. It was such a shame that this good project would never become a reality because of stupid pride.

I decided that it was time for me to exit this place, so I planned my escape. I stayed in my room the next day, pretending to be sick. Well, I laid out the details of my plan. I later went and visited the neighbor to see if I could catch a ride with him to the US airport, where I would meet with one of my beloved lightworker friends in North Carolina. I then packed all my bags and tied all the bed sheets together. I tied one end to the dresser drawer and threw the other end out the window. I did not climb down it; instead, I exited out of the back door. So why did I do this with the bed sheets? Well, words were not working, so I chose to use action and this symbolism that would make this point: “Working with you is like being in prison, and I need to get out.” I learned later on that he got the message loud and clear, and things changed for all the workers back there.
I caught my flight and had a three hour layover in Georgia. To pass the time, I made up this game where I would walk around the whole airport sending huge amounts of love light to everyone who would look me in the eye, who felt drawn to the vibe I was putting out. I was curious to see how receptive the people would be to something like this. I had people come up to me and ask me, “Excuse me, what are you doing?” I said, “It is a little game. Do you want to play? You have to think of love and light send it to people and see if you can get them to pick it up without a word and smile back.”
I happy to say that I got most of the people there to smile.
I then headed to my gate and engaged a perfect stranger in conversation. When the person started touching on subjects that I was most passionate about, things I write about in my poems, I got lost to this conversation, and so were all the people nearby who could hear. They were all listening. I was so lost in this conversation that I was not aware how much time had gone by. I thought I had better check. I asked the ladies at the booth, and they said, “You just missed your flight. It just took off. How did you not hear us calling for this flight when you were right by the door?” I said that I was in a deep conversation. They said, “We know. We were listening.” Then they started to laugh. They booked another flight for me, and this wait was also three hours. I called my friend to tell her that I would be late, and when I explained why, I heard more laughing and was asked, “Are you a blond?”
This time I made a point this time not to speak to anyone. When I boarded my flight and buckled in, I heard on the intercom, “We are just making sure that a Ms. Jessica Schab is on this plane and not outside the gate talking for hours.” Then I heard more laughing. Apparently, the whole airport knew about me.
My time in North Carolina was also interesting. My lightworker friend was also a Reiki master. When I told her I was born knowing Reiki, she asked me to prove it, so I did. She then wrote me up levels one, two, and masters in Reiki. 

I also managed to get out and speak to the locals. I asked them one of my favorite questions, “What do you love to do with your time?” One man said, “I like to clean my gun.” “OK,” I thought. “Change the subject.” Somehow the topic changed to doctors, and he responded, “Oh, we do not go for that stuff. We just use moonshine.” In my head I heard the theme song for the Hillbillies and decided there was no point trying to talk about quantum physics and metaphysics here.  

From North Carolina I flew to Philadelphia, where I met my friend I met when I was working on the cruise ship. He showed me around New York and New Jersey. Although this guy was very cool and respectful, I felt nervous around him. He did not know what I was about, and knowing his background, I did not think he would be open or able to understand. I was right. He had no clue. When I tried to speak about it, it sounded like another language to him.

I thought to myself, “Maybe if he sees me in action and meets some like-minds, he might understand.” So I went to work doing what I do best: networking online for fellow lightworkers and starseeds I could meet up with in the local area. It was not until the end of my trip that he started to understand what I was about and that his adventures were just about to start.
I did manage to meet this one guy down in Philly who was a very successful and wealthy business type, and he seemed to be like-minded. He was interested in working with me. We hung out for a bit, and all seemed to be going well. He then made me an offer. He wanted me to go back home and recruit lightworkers or people I believed in and find out what their dream project was. Then I would advise them about the company, and the company would fund them and they would be taken care of. I would be paid very well. I would never need to work again. I was also to be a figurehead for them, someone who would be interviewed lots. The only restriction was that I was not to talk about some of the things I knew. So in a sense, I was not allowed to be me.

Not just that, I stumbled across a mentor for the company who did not have the best of intentions for the people they would be recruiting. He subtly revealed to me that they were well aware of what I knew, of this deeper information and the potential it had to help a great many people in one session. They did not want me to reveal this because there was not much profit in that as opposed to them coming to see them, say, once a week. Not just that, I would not be allowed to share this information or let on that I even knew about it. They wanted me to make a profit by keeping my mouth shut!

Too many times people have chosen money over humanity and sold them out. I was not going to repeat this pattern. I would not be bought, either. There was one more thing I learned about them that really intrigued me. They were Freemasons as well, but “rouge” ones who wanted to use the information and knowing on how they worked to benefit their company. What was appealing about this for me was to get them to use this knowledge to benefit the whole of humanity. They have worked for many years bamboozling humanity by using all their tricks, but I wanted them to reverse their ways and have them benefit all of humanity and not just the few.

One more detail is worth sharing. They showed me an envelope that they use at airports so that their bags are not checked at all. Their top key people would get one of these, and I was one of them. They even showed me mine! But I already knew their true intent, so I did not care. I was planning to drop all this and head back home, but first I would write a few letters to get them to think about what they were doing. 

When reflecting on this trip, I felt so disappointed. All of these projects turned out to be dead ends. Was this all in vain? What does a tree do when it reaches a dead end with its branch? It makes a flower or a piece of fruit or a leaf. If you look at a tree with all its branches all the directions and paths it tried, it all turned out to be of great value to the planet. With all those twists and turns the tree now provides beauty and nourishment and shade. (See my poem “To Live and Be As a Tree.”)  If that is what life was meaning for me to see, then all my so-seeming dead ends can be seen in a new light. This was definitely not about the destination but the journey. I have learned a good deal from this, not just that it was all rather a wild ride. I sure had an adventure. Life sure was molding me into the person I needed to be to do what I came here to do. I trust the process. I won’t make any assumptions about the trip or what will come of it or even what I define success to be.  

Author: Jessica Schab

Memoirs of a Former Mystic - Blogs I've written many blogs but the series about my time in Bali, Indonesia, when my radical changes took place, is what has garnered the most curiosity and acclaim. In it, I share everything about that process from beginning to end and in great detail, so that others can get to know me and better understand what I am about. My Bali Blog series is an exploration of my own personal confusion towards rational thinking that has helped myself and others to see our own cognitive dissonance. It exposes the many things that we hide from ourselves and why. ​I highly suggest to read the blogs in order, from part 1 to 5. Otherwise, it will be hard to understand the content. I myself am shocked to realize that I had no idea how conditioned and problematic my spiritual beliefs were until I wrote these blogs; how they affected every aspect of my life and created so many unnecessary problems, making me so afraid to even dare to think or imagine my life and who I was without them. I can see now the contradictions I had to want to understand, watching these elements fight within me, planting mine fields of self-destruction in my mind when I forced myself to think without spiritual beliefs that acted like a drug for me, often times taking over my mind and thinking for me. How could I get myself to stop protecting these beliefs? Such a question led me to understand why others are so keen to choose irrationality instead of logic when it comes to their ideologies. It's one of the many reasons that led to me speaking up about why I am so concerned about this movement and the dangers of these beliefs. I would describe my changes as a massive tidal wave; a tsunami sweeping me and everything I was familiar with away. I honestly do not think I would have made it had I not learned how to surf my psyche. You would think the tidal wave would be the worst of it, right? So did I. I can say it’s not the case. You can ask people who have experienced a massive tsunami or any natural disaster and they will tell you the worst part is actually the aftermath; dealing with the dramatic shift, and in my case the psychological changes. How does one go on after something like that? What next? It’s not like one can go back to how things used to be and forget it ever happened; the experience echoes in your bones. It’s futile and insane to rebuild the old and familiar in your psyche and to encourage former hopes and beliefs. Especially because it often is what beckoned and fuelled the tsunami to begin with. When you get to the root, you must start completely new so as not to recreate the past. ​Ha! Easier said than done! So, these blogs are also an invitation and challenge to detect what is confusion and what is fact. To have people ask themselves: Are my beliefs thinking for me? It becomes more apparent and easier to pinpoint and reduce one's conditioned thinking when one finishes the whole series in order. Then, one can see their own results on how they scored with detecting and exploring their own cognitive biases.​ Best of luck. ​Enjoy and please let me know what you think :-)

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